[lilyka]

OK time to get a grip. things have spiraled out of control . . . where can I pare down.

car:
payment - $320 (new, warranty, good gas millage. my other one blew up. good news is i don't pay for anything else. five year loan, low interest. i would like to pay more because my alimony only goes on for 3 1/2 years and I would like to get this paid off by then)
insurance - $80
gas - $30-$40
oil changes -- $5

$445

house -
payment - $920
utilities - $265 (gas, electric, water, garbage - i pay my neighbors water and garbage because we own it and rent it out)
phone/cable/internet - $120
cell - $55

$1360

other debt:
furniture - $100
computer - $25
big credit card - minimum of $200
little credit cards (clothes)- $60 or pay off . . .
$385

groceries (everything we consume including vet bills, activities, school lunch etc) - $700
starbucks (i know but easier said than done. i work there but get none of the perks of a company store. nothing is free) $50
savings $75
retirement - 0

life insurance . . . . $25-$30 (legally required)
church - $40
$900


ok so total out go is . . . $3090 (do we have a hyperventilating smilie
)

income . . . .
child support - $1075
alimony - $500
rental income $575
my glamerous job as a starbck barrista/can stacker - $1000 + tips
(tips usually go into savings for fun money stuff and church, they are minimal. today I got $7 and that is a big day

)

total - $3150 barely covering everything.

other important stats - can't sell or refinance my house. it appraised for $15000 less than i paid for it 8 years ago and $1000 less than I owe. yuck. but since it provides a chunk of income it is also dirt cheap so long as I have a renter . . . .

I have three kids, 2 guinea pigs and a dog. I would love to get rid of the piggies but we do love them. and the girls may be little but they eat like truckers. we also feed the neighbor kid quite often lest she be stuck eating dry ramen every night

: so 3 1/2 little girls who eat their weight in food every day.

i don't know why utilities are so high. although gas should be going down and we don't use AC in the summer.

ahhh crap, I will be paying childcare this summer too. So I need to free up some cash.

my kids are home alone often so they need a phone here.

any suggestions? how is it possible i have so many expenses? what can I cut?

 

[LilyGrace]

I would try to cut back on groceries as a number one priority. Not on the amount you buy, but on the amount it's stretched over. Get more cheap meal foods - beans, rice, potatoes, soup fixings..and less higher priced - meats, cheese, dairy. If you find yourself buying convenience foods, think of ways to recreate that ease and satisfaction at home with minimal effort. Unfortunately, the starbucks has to go, or it has to come from your tip money so it's not coming out of the budget.

Second, I would shop around for cheaper insurance. It might not be out there, but if you can lower it, you should.

And third, look at other options for at home. If you just have the internet and get Magic Jack or Vonage or Skype, will you pay less? Cable is nice, but can you give it up and go with the free public channels? (Trust me, I know how hard this one can be - we went from 100+ channels to 9, and I can say a year later we honestly don't miss them much. I'd still like my Discovery, History, and Food Network, though!)

Last, try to pay the same amount on your credit cards each month. It's not going to free up a lot of money right now, but it will. If the minimum is $200 and you continue to pay $200 regardless of the balance (assuming it doesn't go higher), in a year the required payment will have dropped considerably, allowing you to rework your budget to put other things in there like clothes, car maintenance, house repair, and school supplies.

 

[Knittin' in the Shade]

obviously, the first one to cut would be the $50 starbucks. Start brewing coffee at home

Otherwise, I'd try to slash the grocery and see if you can get it down $100/month. Together, that would free up $150 a month which is a nice chunk of change.

 

[SeekingJoy]

furniture - $100
computer - $25
big credit card - minimum of $200
little credit cards (clothes)- $60 or pay off . . .
$385

Can you snowball these debts? What are the interest rates? Remaining balances? This is a substantial percentage of your income going to debt repayment.

How much to do you have in savings? Can you temporarily redirect some of it to debt repayment?

If you come up with $1k, can you refinance? From your other thread, don't you have at least a few months to

To avoid charging clothes, what about consignment and thrift store shopping? Yard sales?

Ditch cable, or at least cut back to the most basic $10-12 per month deal. Hulu is a great resource. Videos. A converter box and antenna.

What about a pre-paid cell to leave with the girls when you are gone? Then you could cut back your phone/cable/internet package to just basic internet for about $25 per month.

 

[LionTigerBear]

Your Starbucks, if you indulge, should come out of your tips/fun money. Saves you $50 right there. I know it's hard to cut out at first, but you need to change some habits if you want to free up your budget.

Can you change your own oil? Can someone in your family or a family friend show you how to? Or can you get a friend or family member to do it for you for a trade of services? I know that's only $5 a month but every little bit counts when it adds up!

If you still need to free up more money for childcare this summer, cut out the cable. PBS is more edifying, anyway (but you'll need to grab a digital converter box coupon to get the digital converter box refund).

I have one big concern about your budget. Where is the money for clothing coming from? What about birthday presents? Christmas? Other people's birthday cards? Or do you hand-make everything? If you do, more power to you, I can't imagine. But you still need to set aside at least a small amount every month for presents and clothing. (And shoes and so on.)

Also, do you spend $0 on entertainment? If you do, that's rough, and even a tiny little "fun" fund might make it easier to stick to your budget in other places.

I would definitely cut back on the "grocery" budget-- not that I think you're spending lot there, you really aren't, but it's just a place that's easy to cut back on if you can.

 

[AngelBee]

:

 

[Smithie]

First off, you have made some great choices - like having a renter! Many, many mamas trying to live off of cs/alimony and a barista-type job sink deeper into debt every month. GOOD FOR YOU FOR MAKING ENDS MEET!

But obviously, the alimony will end and the cs may go into arrears or be reduced at some point, so you are right to believe that you need a new plan. The savings measures already suggested here (cut down the cable, cut down the groceries) are great. I watch most of my TV on Hulu and love it. And my kids have a better wardrobe from consignment stores than they did when I bought new stuff!

What you really need, though, is a better job - preferably one that is on a shift schedule so that you can minimize child care costs. Could you get a loan to go to a 2-year nursing program? I think it's totally worth the risk of a loan to get yourself qualified for a high-paying, high-demand career. Wouldn't it be sweet if you could replace your alimony when ti runs out with a salary about 4x higher?

 

[lilyka]

Quote:

Originally Posted by SeekingJoy furniture - $100 computer - $25 big credit card - minimum of $200 little credit cards (clothes)- $60 or pay off . . . $385 Can you snowball these debts? What are the interest rates? Remaining balances? This is a substantial percentage of your income going to debt repayment.

the first two are zero percent.
yeah I spent way too much on my couch but i love it, it saves me a lot of stress, i am not ashamed to have people over any more, it is dog friendly and most importantly it is something my xh would have hated.

it was the first purchase I made where I had any say in it. besides what is done is done and this is the last couch I will ever need to buy. my kids can give it hell and there is nothing bad that will happen. oh and both of these will be paid off in 18 months or less.

the clothing credit cards get paid off monthly. I needed clothes after my husband left (I wasn't really allowed to buy any) and I lost a lot of weight shortly after he left, also went back to work and we have to wear dress clothes. (yuck) but at the same time I serve coffee, make coffee splash coffee, and i do it for 9 hour shifts with no breaks. . . so good clothes and shoes were essential. Also occasionally there is something we need right now and don't have time to spend hours combing thrift stores. DD1 and are are ridiculously hard to fit so buying new, from two specific stores is the only way we can buy clothes. the two younger ones just don't need clothes often. I did pay off the majority of those cards with my tax return and $60 may have been a high estimate for future but a pair of good pants (which I will wear 2-3 times a week) is $40. also i just don't have time to shop rummage sales and thrift stores. once the girls are out of school it home work, supper and off to bed.weekends we are all so tired. and I hate shopping, especially with the kids. i don't want to spend what little time I have crabbing at them. not to mention the stores I have cards for are often cheaper than buying used (people with rummage sales around here have awfully high ideas about what their stained clothing is worth) and I don't really think second hand clothes are that great of a deal $7-$10 for a used pair of jeans verses $10-$12 for the same brand new . . . $5 for a used shirt verses $1.50-$5 new. for some things it is worth it but the second hand shops also really put a high value on their stuff.

big credit card - $6000. my life fell apart. I stepped on a rake and had to go the emergency room, had atypical pneumonia . . . for 12 weeks . . . had to put new tires on my van then my van blew up, in 3 months time we had to fight head lice in 4 thick curly haired girls, that stuff is spendy!, bought a new car, my tenants had to be evicted after not paying rent for 3 months, trashed property and it has cost me about $1000 for cleaning and repairs thus far, my child support got cut by $500, my xh started stiffing me for child support and my hours got cut in half at work - all at the same time. a chunk of my lawyer fees are also on that credit card. a large chunk. the good news, i don't think there are any disasters left to be had. my actual minimum payment due is like $75 but i know I will never get anywhere paying that much. MY minimum payment is $200 but I have been paying as much as I can. on the upside . . . .i think we have covered every crisis and things can only go up from here

Quote:

How much to do you have in savings? Can you temporarily redirect some of it to debt repayment?

none, had to clean it out for half my car taxes. the other half is on the credit card

Quote:

If you come up with $1k, can you refinance? From your other thread, don't you have at least a few months to

No I would have to come up with $29K.

Quote:

What about a pre-paid cell to leave with the girls when you are gone? Then you could cut back your phone/cable/internet package to just basic internet for about $25 per month.

I have thought about the prepaid cell. we have to have a decent internet connection though because so much of the girls homework involves being on line (which pisses me off but that is another story entirely) it is also the only connection they have left to their home schooled life and friends. There are 3 channels we can get without cable. but by the time I pay for second phone, basic cable and decent internet connection it may cost more. there are not a lot of options in our area. this is the one I want to cut the most but i spend so much time alone in my house that really i need something to keep me from going crazy. but there has got to be a cheaper option. it will be going up in July or August so I have to figure something out. i have no intention of paying full price for this package . . .

 

[lilyka]

Quote:

Can you change your own oil?

even if I had the slightest notion or had a friend I was willing to impose upon still no. it will void my warranty if I have it done anywhere but the dealership. I actually don't know how much it will cost to change the oil. i have never paid for that before. I am supposed to have it done every three months but I don't drive nearly that much so I may only need it done every 6-9 months. and the first one is free -woohoo

Quote:

I have one big concern about your budget. Where is the money for clothing coming from? What about birthday presents? Christmas? Other people's birthday cards? Or do you hand-make everything? If you do, more power to you, I can't imagine. But you still need to set aside at least a small amount every month for presents and clothing.

most gifts are clothing. and it is included in the $60 a month on the little credit cards (if there is no balance I just put that money in the "tip can" high class savings there

). the girls birthday gift money is generated by my etsy shop (my xh is currently paying for enough supplies via his credit card to keep my store stocked for quite some time

) and the Christmas money - the grocery store where I work gives a 10% rebate one day a month. I am working it.I should get $400-$500 back at Christmas. my parents each also send about $100 per person for christmas and seriously last year I ran out of things to buy. So they mostly cover gifts.

Quote:

Also, do you spend $0 on entertainment? If you do, that's rough, and even a tiny little "fun" fund might make it easier to stick to your budget in other places.

entertainment is cable and internet. I also use tip money (when I am not using to make a house payment. let me tell you, its actually kinda fun to walk into the bank to make your house payment in ones

) for things like pool passes etc (we get a discount on all city activities since the girls are on medicaid). otherwise while they are in school we really don't have a lot of time for entertainment and I have been working so much (between work work, the rental, etsy and trying to hand make gifts etc). we are pretty low maintenance though. much of the girls entertainment is running around with their goofy friends.

 

[mtm]

Your budget really scares me. If your x skips a month or two or is unemployed you could be in a lot of trouble. You have no savings, no retirement. In 3 years you lose the alimony. A new car, a new couch, new clothes all on credit is the start of a really bad habit. Can you get more hours at Starbucks? Apply for their management program? At the very least switch to a company store so you can get benefits.

 

[lilyka]

Can you tell me more about hulu . . .

I went to a night stock position on the weekends my girls were with my dad which helps. however this weekend I am working 27 hours between noon friday and 6AM on Sunday. its gonna kill me but at least I will have the hours I need.

I have been seriously considering going back to college but I could never do nursing. or teaching (I was teaching, I make considerably more as a barrista and it is so much easier. sad huh . . . granted I make more than the average barrista but still . . . sad). i would hate it sooooo much. however . . . I have been thinking nutrition science and combing nutritionist with laction consulting for a cradle to grave practice or working for WIC. although I still think I might make more at starbucks. crazy huh . . . So it gives me panic attatcks just thinking abhout going back to school without certainty about what I should be doing.

another panic attack inducing job problem is that I have an ex husband just waiting for me to screw up so him and his new wife can take the girls from me. right now if the school calls my boss says go. she covers herself even if she has been working 12 hours already. if my kids wakes up in a pool of vomit she says take your time and come in if you can. if i need a sitter she will even do that. seriously, how do single moms with real jobs do these things? I am so scared if I go to school and get a real job i will just lose it because i had to go parent. and then not be able to pay the student loans because I don't have a job.

it really is terrifying to me.

 

[lilyka]

Quote:

Originally Posted by mtm Your budget really scares me. If your x skips a month or two or is unemployed you could be in a lot of trouble. You have no savings, no retirement. In 3 years you lose the alimony. A new car, a new couch, new clothes all on credit is the start of a really bad habit. Can you get more hours at Starbucks? Apply for their management program? At the very least switch to a company store so you can get benefits.

it scares me too. the couch was stupid but what is done is done. when I bought it I had no debt, more child support, and no car payment. and no furniture. things changed quickly.

clothes - I couldn't have a job without clothes. I can look like a bum around my house but I have to have clothes for work and very specific clothes at that.

we do not have public transit and temps here get to -20 in the winter. i have to have reliable transportation and buying new was the same price as buying used (same monthly payment anyway. one I was paying interest and one I was actually buying car) and I won't have any repair bills likely ever from what I hear (I bought the very most basic sub compact mazda made by man with a full bumper to bumper 10 year warranty. it was a very modest choice. i put $1000 down and have 2% interest. I held out as long as I could with "the van" but that thing was eating me alive. it got 8 miles to the gallon and was starting need monthly repairs, had no heat, no air and an axle that could have gone at any time. not safe or reliable or cheap). it sucks but I didn't l know what else to do.

Since I work at a licensed store I cannot get more anything or move up. I am watching for a better position within the store and pick up shifts when I can. The company stores around here suck and will likely be closing soon so there is not a lot of security there. if our starbucks closes I will retain my pay rate and just be moved to another department within the store. If I have benefits (although I don't see much hope in getting any benefits at starbucks) they may also transfer with me to the new department. and even with the economy as bad as it our store is making money hand over fist so I don't have to worry about shut downs or lay offs. which is a bonus. however not every department head will be as accommodating as mine about parenting emergencies and such.

 

[EFmom]

Where were you teaching that you made less than $1K/month? A regular public school position should pay a great deal more than that, and normally comes with good benefits, good vacations and can be supplemented by summer work.

If not going back to school for nursing, how about one of the other allied health fields? Jobs like radiation therapy technicians and dental hygienists require an associates degree and average pay is $50-60K, which, while not gigantic is still much better than you're going to make at Starbucks.

I would cut out cable TV, and do something cheaper for phone. You can live with a couple of TV channels. We do. We have pre-paid cellular which costs me $100/year. I don't chat on the cell phone all the time, but it's there when I need it and it doesn't cost a fortune.

 

[ParisApril]

I think I would be thinking about getting into home childcare or housecleaning or something more WAHish because $1000 a month + tips doesn't seem like it would be worth it to me. The snowball effect of expenses when WOH can be staggering!

I could earn $1200 a month by watching 2 kids full time. $150/week per child. Also then you would be home and you could make and do things that will save you even more money. Like making your own meals and baking , brewing your coffee at home is super cheap even for great org. free trade stuff, hanging laundry to dry on the line (huge savings), handwashing dishes, not having to drive your car will save you tons of money that you would have spent on gas too.

Just a thought. Good luck mama!

 

[Smithie]

"another panic attack inducing job problem is that I have an ex husband just waiting for me to screw up so him and his new wife can take the girls from me."

Ouch. The moron probably thinks he'll save money if he doesn't have to pay support to you. Isn't it crazy how they always think that?

Anyhow, I completely see why your relationship with your manager is so important to you, since it enables you to dot every i and cross every t as the primary caregiver to your girls. Do you think that your ex might get distracted by the first kid that new wife pops out and thus be less of a threat to you in a year or so?

What's going on right now is just really, really scary, in that you are financially dependent on a guy who sounds like a real nightmare. Please keep us updated on what cuts you are able to make. Those weekend shifts sound nightmarish, but if taking them on regularly will bring in the extra income that helps you axe your debt, I would do it every time! Being debt-free would hugely help you to decrease your dependence on the xh. You can eat really cheaply one month, but you can't pay less mortgage in that month he decides to start playing games with the support check!

 

[lilyka]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Smithie Do you think that your ex might get distracted by the first kid that new wife pops out and thus be less of a threat to you in a year or so? What's going on right now is just really, really scary, in that you are financially dependent on a guy who sounds like a real nightmare. Please keep us updated on what cuts you are able to make. Those weekend shifts sound nightmarish, but if taking them on regularly will bring in the extra income that helps you axe your debt, I would do it every time! Being debt-free would hugely help you to decrease your dependence on the xh. You can eat really cheaply one month, but you can't pay less mortgage in that month he decides to start playing games with the support check!

oh they don't want kids (he got a vasectomy right after he started sleeping around. God forbid he have another burden.

him and girlfriend want my kids. "I can't wait to be your kids new mommy" oh yeah she actually said that.

I have thought about doing daycare but my home is not very conducive to other peoples kids (especially toddlers and babies). maybe after school care. . . . I have thought about that. its a huge leap though. daycare parents will screw you over too. i got so burned last time I did home daycare. maybe just cutting back to weekends at work and doing daycare in the summers? I could drag 3 kids to the pool in my car (if my oldest two ride their bike

) and everything else would be manageable.

I do get a hefty tax return every year that will make a huge dent in my debt - actually so long as I don't dig any deeper it should enable me to be totally debt free in 3 years car included. i don't want to include that in my budget though because you never know what will happen from year to year (actually I have no tax liability and get the full earned income credit,. I guess that is not really a tax return since I didn't over pay anything. i didn't pay anything at all . . )

 

[Delicateflower]

Dump the cable. Our phone/internet package is $65

Dump the starbucks habit. Buy a $100 machine and an insulated cup.

Cut the church payment, you can't afford it.

How much do you have in savings? If you have a decent amount, cut it in favor of that debt. If you can get the debt gone you'll free up an extra $625 a month.

OP, after reading our replies I think what you really need to do is head to your local library and borrow "the total money makeover"

 

[cappuccinosmom]

Split up that groceries category and look at what you can cut out or lower (skip some activities, pack sandwiches for lunch instead of buying, etc). Make sure you're keeping track of everything you buy. It is so easy to nickle and dime yourself to death.

Cut out cable, get cheaper internet and phone. We have DSL for $10 (will go up to $20 next year) and unlimited phone (voip) for $30/month after the three month promotion ends. That would be what, $70 saved right there?

Get rid of starbucks.

Use your starbucks money to pay ahead on those little debts and get rid of them quick.

Get rid of the cell plan and get a pay as you go cell to use only in emergencies, with no frills (no texting/internet). You can go as low as $15 every three months with some phones.

 

[primjillie]

I don't have any advice, but I think you are doing a great job considering all your circumstances. I think I would be crazy with all that going on and an ex waiting in the wings for my babies. I just wanted to say to all that tell you to give up the Starbucks $50. I think that would be about impossible given the fact you work there. There is no way I could spend all those hours in Starbucks and not buy anything! You are human, after all. Maybe you can cut back somewhere else to fund your coffee - maybe your grocery money? Good luck with everything!

 

[bender]

Can you pick up any substitute teaching jobs? If not for a public school, then a private one (sometimes they are less fussy about having an actual credential).