[mama2soren]

DS will be 2.5 next month. 3 weeks ago I joined a local gym that has a great Kids Club with wonderful staff, fun activities, awesome play equipment, etc. DS has never been in a daycare situation with other kids before, but he really seems to like it there. He's excited to get out of the car, and is through the door and off to play sometimes without even turning around to wave goodbye!<br><br>
BUT.<br><br>
If there are kids there that are younger than him, he is flat out mean! He kicks them, pushes them, hits them in the head with toys. Today and yesterday they had to come find me in the workout area so that I would get DS, as they couldn't get him to stop repeatedly hurting the other kids. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/guilty.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="guilty"><br><br>
If the kids are older, he plays very happily with them. This never seems to be an issue with older kids.<br><br>
This is not unique to Kids Club. I cannot go to LLL meetings anymore, because most of the children are young toddlers. Last time I tried to go, he'd do the same things, push/hit/kick. It's not (usually) related to sharing toys. A little one will be happily toddling by not paying DS any attention, and DS will just walk over and push or kick. It's horrifying and embarrassing.<br><br>
I've never gotten more compliments in my life than I do at church. DS will join the other kids for Sunday School time (they are 4-9 years old, he is by far the youngest), and he is just a doll. He is gentle, happy, sweet. No one can believe how well-behaved he always is. Always.<br><br>
What do I do? Joining this gym has been the best way I've cared for myself in years. I really don't want to quit going. If I go, I must take DS because DH is at work or school all the time, and there is no $$ to leave him at home with a babysitter. Plus, he does have to learn how to relate with little ones eventually.<br><br>
Help!

 

[mtm]

I probably wouldn't take him back to the gym, its not fair to the younger kids and not fair to your kid to be in a situation where he is hitting/kicking. Can you find a way to get him around younger kids with you there to work on the behaviour?

 

[mamadelbosque]

Yeah, I'd make an effort to get him around other kids his age and younger with you around too - you being the caregiver, not off working out or whatever.

 

[mama2soren]

But when he does it when I'm around (like at LLL), what should I do? I pick him up away from the child, sternly say "no hit! that hurts!" or something like that, then redirect him to another activity that he enjoys. It doesn't stop him from continuing the behavior, so we eventually are forced to pack up and leave. We talk about how to treat "babies," and how happy they are when they get soft touches or tickles. We practice giving each other soft touches/tickles. But it doesn't seem to change anything.<br><br>
Maybe this is a GD question, but I'm curious what others would do in this situation...