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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I need honest opinions here. I want to know if I am over reacting and if not, what would you do?<br><br>
At the end of school today my daughter's class was mixed with another class. There was a boy sitting next to her that kept blowing in her face. She had asked him to stop more than once and when he wouldn't she told the teacher. The teacher punished my daughter because the boy said that she said he had bad breath. If this is true, she believed the boy over my daughter. Anyway, she made my daughter sit in the corner and pointed at her and said that she was going to tell her teacher and then she said, I thought you were a good little girl. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/angry.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="angry"> That just ticks me off. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/splat.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="splat"> She wanted to tell her teacher but another teacher asked her what was wrong and she told her and the teacher told her not to worry about it and told her to go home (this was after school). If this is all true (My daughter has what they call a language disability and sometimes she doesn't read certain situations correctly.), I am pretty mad. Should I be? Am I overreacting? I thought about calling the school today, but I don't know the teacher's name that did this. My daughter doesn't know who she is. I thought maybe I'd write a note to her teacher and have her bring it in on Monday and then bring this up at my daughter's IEP meeting on Tuesday.<br><br>
Would you all just let it go?
 

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I think the note and IEP meeting idea is perfect. No you shouldn't let it go, but your attitude of trying to find out what happened is exactly right for dealing with the teachers.<br><br>
It's possible that the teacher really did penalize your daughter for having a disability. I always like to believe the best of people, but I also think that children with disabilities are one of the most discriminated-against groups in our society, so I'm ready to believe that a teacher would do something like that.
 

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I would definitely bring it up. Telling someone who is blowing in your face that they have bad breath is not a punishable offense, IMO. If the teacher was trying to just handle a disturbance, then both your daughter and the boy should have been made to go sit in the corner (even though I am not a fan at all of the sit in the corner type thing). And it is definitely inappropriate of the teacher to tell her "I thought you were a good girl."<br><br>
It shouldn't be hard to find out the teacher's name. I would definitely write a note and bring it up in the meeting.
 

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I don't think you are overreacting at all. The teacher did a few things wrong - one, she chose to believe one child over the other when she hadn't seen what happened herself. Two, she chose a humiliating, punitive form of discipline for your daughter. Even if your daughter HAD done something inappropriate, making a child sit in the corner and insinuating that she is a "bad girl" is not a healthy way for a teacher to discipline a child.<br><br>
I would speak to the director of the school. Immediately. But honestly, if placing a child in the corner is part of their discipline policy, I'd find another school.
 

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<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">The teacher punished my daughter because the boy said that she said he had bad breath.</td>
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If this is so, I'd be pretty ticked if I were you. Even if she did say he has bad breath, so what? She's entitled to her opinion, isn't she? He got in her face, right? Did this other teacher punish her for "lying" or for defending herself from this boy getting in her space? I'd be curious to know why the other teacher assumed your child wasn't telling the truth.<br><br>
Yes, write your dd's teacher a note, and bring it up at the iep meeting. Your daughter probably did misread some aspect of the situation. So what. Your questions need to be answered, and <i>if</i> the other teacher blew it she needs to be educated. Sounds like she "misread" your daughter. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngtongue.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Stick Out Tongue"><br><br>
You can be sweet and polite and still be a mama bear.
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
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<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;"><i>Originally posted by LunaMom</i><br>
I don't think you are overreacting at all. The teacher did a few things wrong - one, she chose to believe one child over the other when she hadn't seen what happened herself. Two, she chose a humiliating, punitive form of discipline for your daughter. Even if your daughter HAD done something inappropriate, making a child sit in the corner and insinuating that she is a "bad girl" is not a healthy way for a teacher to discipline a child.</td>
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Those were my thoughts exactly!<br><br><div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">if placing a child in the corner is part of their discipline policy, I'd find another school.</td>
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Not possible. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"> I wish they were still in the private school they went to for part of the year last year. It was all paid for by a friend's church, but I had no way to get them there.<br><br>
Now this is a good example of why I would NOT sign that paper saying I agree with their discipline policy.<br><br>
You all have made good points. I really appreciate everyone's responses. Thanks! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngbiggrin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="orange big grin">
 

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This just breaks my heart, I remember coming home crying many times.<br><br>
I agree with everyone here, you to bring this up. Maybe take a "just trying to clarify, my daughter said..." stance. If anything, it would be good for your little girl to see you taking her seriously.<br><br>
Good luck, and lots of hugs to your dd.<br><br>
DeAnna
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
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<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;"><i>Originally posted by journeymom</i><br><b><br>
You can be sweet and polite and still be a mama bear.</b></td>
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Bear yes, sweet and polite...... I'm not so sure about. I'll have to work on it. :LOL I'll tell ya, if I called today and talked to that teacher I don't think I could have even been nice, never mind sweet. lol
 

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You're not overreacting. Belittling a student, especially in front of others, is completely out of line. The point about a 'good little girl' and believing the boy is gender discrimination. If it's b/c of her disability, that's discrimination. That 'teacher' needs to be reprimanded and be made to apologize to your daughter, in front of all the people that were there in the first place. A private apology is not enough.<br><br>
I would have your daughter there, so she can clarify when the teacher tries to say how she was 'misunderstood'.<br><br>
I'm sorry she had to go through that.
 

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oh thats so sad <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"><br><br>
I would be seriously TICKED!<br>
I would find out the teachers name on monday & that would be one of tthe first things I would discuss at her IEP
 

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It is beside the point that the boy had bad breath and that your dd told him so.<br><br>
I haven't been out of school all that long BUT I do know that in my school if a student does something that another student asks them to stop...ie blowing in their face...it is considered assault and taken very very seriously by the administration.<br><br>
I'd def say something to your dd's teacher. And hug your daughter because she (in one way) defended herself. He stopped didn't he??
 

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Discussion Starter · #13 ·
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<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;"><i>Originally posted by blazfglori</i><br><b>I like the note and bringing it up at the meeting.<br>
I would also call the school principal and discuss the incident with them.</b></td>
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The principal will be at the meeting. I thought of maybe calling on Monday and asking if I could talk to her after the meeting because I have a feeling they won't be willing to discuss it during the meeting since that's to make up her special education plan.<br><br>
its_our_family...I totally agree, I would call that defending herself. She said she never even said that to the boy and if she's telling the truth then it's even worse because she didn't do anything as far as I can tell that would have offended the boy.<br><br>
I like the idea of getting the teacher to say she's sorry in front of everyone, but I think I have a better chance of hell freezing over. lol I will ask my daughter how she'd feel about that before even suggesting it. I don't want to embarrass her further.
 

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I taught school for 9 years.....and I definately would want to know<br>
of something like that! Anything that involved one of my students<br>
I would want to know about b/c something as 'simple' as that<br>
can really put a negative experience in their mind about schools<br>
and teachers!<br>
Don't go into the school in a 'huff'. Just politely as possible get to<br>
the bottom on it so all involved can speak their part! Good luck<br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/oops.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="oops">T<br>
moving this to Parenting Issues for ya<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hippie.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hippie">
 

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Sounds like your daughter was punished for calling the boy a name, but the boy was allowed to irratate her which would upset me. I would send a note to her teacher(or speak with her) letting her know that I didn't appreciate the incident and it could have been handled better(the result not leaving your daughetr in tears).<br>
Your right to be upset, I would be annoyed at the least.
 

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Discussion Starter · #16 ·
<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/jaw.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="dropjaw"> I just found out today that the woman that spoke to my daughter that way is one of the <b>special education</b> teachers! She <i>better not</i> be one of the ones that will be working with my daughter. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/angry.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="angry"> I haven't spoken to her yet. I will bring it up at the meeting tomorrow and after the meeting I'll try to set up a meeting with her. Wish me luck. I have a feeling I'm going to need it. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad">
 

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Good Luck!! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/thumb.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="thumbs up">
 

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Discussion Starter · #18 ·
Thanks!<br><br>
The meeting was canceled. I'm waiting to hear when it will be rescheduled for. So what I did was I wrote a note to the teacher asking her to clarify what happened.
 

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Why did they cancel the IEP meeting? That sets off warning bells to me. Make sure you have another one scheduled ASAP.
 

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Discussion Starter · #20 ·
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<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;"><i>Originally posted by captain optimism</i><br><b>Why did they cancel the IEP meeting? That sets off warning bells to me. Make sure you have another one scheduled ASAP.</b></td>
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The special education teacher was sick. I'm waiting to hear when the new one is.<br><br>
I got a note from the teacher today. She gave me a totally different story, but didn't say if she did or didn't make the comments my daughter said she did. My daughter and her friend say it didn't happen like the teacher said, but I think my daughter took it the wrong way. I don't know about the comment. If it was said, I don't feel that was right, but I don't think my daughter was innocent either. I'll be writing another letter to the teacher tomorrow because I think she took my letter as an accusation and it wasn't that at all. I asked her to clarify what happened and to tell me her side.<br><br>
I think what I am going to do is to have it in her IEP that if she is disciplined at school at all that they send home a letter so I have both sides of the story. Like I said before, my daughter often has a different take on situations than most people would.<br><br>
Thank you all for putting up with me. I was pretty mad at the thought that what she told me could be true. I'm kinda glad it isn't because I didn't want to have to worry about her being treated poorly in school.
 
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