[Lousli]

I don't really know where to start. My daughter is now 19.5 months old. She has never slept longer than about 4-5 hours in a row, and she has only done that a few times. I bought and read the NCSS, and tried some of the suggestions in it, but didn't get very far because I was nursing my dd every time she woke up at night, and I tried the "Pantley pull-off" method, but it woke her every single time. We co-sleep.

I finally had a huge breakdown about 2 months ago because I had not slept more than 3 hours solid since my daughter was born. I was a total zombie. My daughter was waking between 8-12 times a night on average.

: I finally told my husband I had to stop night nursing or I was going to pretty much snap. Plus she nurses only on one breast and this makes getting comforatble in bed very tough, and causes me a lot of back pain.

So for the past 8 weeks or so I have nursed her at night before bed and from about 5 am on. I have tried really hard to get plenty of breastmilk and solids into her during the day (of course she is a picky toddler right now) and I'm fairly concerned about her getting enough calories since she is very small and her lame pediatrician is on my back about her weight.

At the beginning of nightweaning she did really well with my husband just holding her or rocking her to sleep again, dancing, etc. But lately she is starting to wake up a lot more again. Often he will be up with her and dancing, and when she seems to be very asleep he will bring her back to bed and she immediately wakes up again. Repeat several times until he gets grumpy and exhausted and either I take a few shifts with her (which is REALLY hard because she always wants to nurse) or he toughs it out until 4 or 5 and I end up nursing her then.

I know I should dig out NCSS again and look up the ideas, but is there any way to get her to sleep for longer stretches? Is there any way for me to be able to get her to sleep without her becoming more upset because she wants to nurse? I know that I've heard that if i can wait it out a few more months she will be old enough to understand that I need a break and nursing at night isn't possible. Honestly though, I can't function anymore in this way. I would not mind getting up a few times a night to nurse, but when I'm getting up 12 times in 8 hours for months on end I become severly depressed and nearly non-functional.

HELP!

 

[sadkitty]

:

Hi from an old ddc fellow!

No advice, but we're right there with you (well, in spirit.)

I really want my own room.

:

 

[Lousli]

Hi Emily! I went over and joined the NCSS support thread. I think I'm going to give it another try. I go back to work in a few weeks and I'm nervous!

Of course, any suggestions/thoughts other than NCSS are ALWAYS welcome

 

[georgia]

I have removed quite a few posts from this thread that either advocated CIO or referred to the posts that did. Please take a moment to read the NPFB Forum Guidelines in case you may be new to the forum

Quote:

Please appreciate that this forum is not a place to uphold or advocate CIO (Crying It Out). Personal preferences for and encouragement of the use of CIO and similar sleep training methods are inappropriately posted here. Posts of that nature will be edited by the member upon request or will be removed.

Please remember to report any posts that might violate the MDC User Agreement or Forum Guidelines, rather than reply directly to the thread itself. Reporting a post is easy: simply click the little red, white and black triangle at the lower left-hand corner of the post. This directly notifies the moderators that there's a concern.

Thanks and sweet dreams

 

[rzberrymom]

Quote:

At the beginning of nightweaning she did really well with my husband just holding her or rocking her to sleep again, dancing, etc. But lately she is starting to wake up a lot more again. Often he will be up with her and dancing, and when she seems to be very asleep he will bring her back to bed and she immediately wakes up again. Repeat several times until he gets grumpy and exhausted and either I take a few shifts with her (which is REALLY hard because she always wants to nurse) or he toughs it out until 4 or 5 and I end up nursing her then.

Could it be that she's teething? Have her molars and canines all come through? Could her 2 year molars be starting to come through?

I nightweaned my 18 month old, but one of her canines still hadn't come in. When it started coming in, she started waking every hour or two--right back to where we were before the nightweaning. I went back to nursing her while the tooth came in. I know that in Dr. Jay Gordon's nightweaning method, he says that if babe gets sick or anything else leads to increased nighttime needs, just do whatever you need to do (nursing, cuddling, walking) as many times as you need to do it. And then afterwards, he says to spend a night or two or three getting back to the new pattern you established.

 

[christinaajsmommy]

My son is 11 months and he doesn't sleep through the night either not even close. He tries to stay up all night and I have to be at work at 8, sometimes he doesn't go to sleep until 4 in the morning at least i don't work everyday

 

[alegna]

Right around that age my dd had a big growth spurt. Might it be worth it to add just one night feeding back in for a month or so?

It must be SO hard to get so little sleep for so long.

-Angela

 

[Jessy1019]

The only thing I can say is that my oldest didn't sleep through until she was three. I never really tried to force the issue, and she started doing it when she was ready. I really believe that once kids are ready for this stuff, they'll do it without a fight.

I know that doesn't help you now, but I had a ton of people telling me Rylie would never sleep through if we didn't force her to do it, and I didn't find that to be true at all. Maybe it will be a small comfort to you that there is an end in sight?

Also, my daughter went through the not sleeping whatsoever phase around 18-19 months, and that's when we transferred her to a big girl bed . . . it seemed to help to a degree, she was still waking but not every hour.

 

[Al Dente]

Ds has always been a terrible sleeper, too-at least 6x a night every night since he was born. I can count on one hand the number of times he slept in a 5 hour stretch before I successfully nightweaned him at 25 mos.

Even with a bad sleeper, 18-21 mos was the worst of MY LIFE. He was up, literally, every 45 minutes unless he was sick and slept heavier. So, I feel your pain.

A couple of things to suggest:

*white noise (we keep a fan running all night)
*soft music playing continuously
*moving her into her own room, with mattress on the floor and you nursing her to sleep laying down on the bed with her, then leaving when she is asleep. Could be that she needs more room-I know my ds really benefitted from this at about that time.
*offering her ice chips (really helps with teething) right before bed

Have you done the jay gordon method of nightweaning? I just wondered, because my ds initially did very well (like your dd), and then at some point I just had to get tough and force myself not to rock/walk him because we were still getting up 3-4 times a night. I just started soothing by using language and rubbing his back. He was very mad initially and screamed quite a bit the first 2-3 nights. Dr. Jay says this is the hardest time, and to recognize that the baby is angry that you are changing his sleep association, but not scared or anxious because you are still right there with him, still touching and comforting. It does sound tough and it brings up all kinds of squicky feelings, like "is this cio" but I trust Dr. Jay and followed his method.

After that phase was over, and ds realized that I wasn't going to pick him up in the middle of the night, he slept through. He has slept more thann 7 hours a night at least 4 times a week for the last 2 months. It is a miracle!

 

[Lousli]

Thank you thank you for all the suggestions! I wasn't looking for CIO advice, sorry. I should have specified that. I do not want to force her to sleep, I want to help her to sleep. I just don't think I can make it through another year or more of this.

We were trying the patting and rubbing the back, but she cries, and then it wakes up everyone, including my other dd, who semi cosleeps (her own bed, but next to ours).

We don't think she's teething, as she has all her teeth but her 2 year molars, and we've been feeling around and looking for those, but haven't yet found signs of them. I do think she could be growing, but it seems that once I've nursed her at night, she thinks the boobie is available and will not settle for my dh well at all after that. I'm really trying to get the nursing in at any time except between about 9 pm and 5 am. After 5, she wakes about every half hour to nurse until we get out of bed at 7 or 8.

So here is what we are currently thinking we will try:
rereading NCSS and coming up with a solid plan
checking out Dr. Jay Gordon's book
trying some methods we haven't tried before, such as white noise or soft music
possibly, if all else fails, setting up a bed downstairs for dh and dd to cosleep so he can help soothe her at night without waking up my older dd and me

We still appreciate any other suggestions, and will let you know how it goes

 

[Starlitlexy]

My son barely started sleeping through the night at 2! We went through the same situation and it was actually his two year molars coming in that caused the uproar. I really have no advice since I just kept nursing him during this time, I was too exhausted to stay awake lol Good luck mama.

 

[lisac77]

Quote:

Originally Posted by rzberrymom Could it be that she's teething? Have her molars and canines all come through? Could her 2 year molars be starting to come through?

My son did not sleep through the night until after he stopped teething. I think many cases of "bad sleepers" are directly related to teething. He is three now and he sleeps through the night most nights.

 

[EarthyLady]

Sounds normal to me. My dd didn't sleep for more than 2 hours straight until she was 18 months old. She still wakes several times a night but can get herself back to sleep now that she's almost 3. This article helped me relax a lot. http://www.kathydettwyler.org/detsleepthrough.html

HTH some,
Mandy

 

[Lousli]

Thanks. I did look at the article, but it says that waking up to nurse every two hours is normal. If my daughter was waking every two hours that would be 4-5 times a night. I might be able to deal with that. But she was waking 8-12 times per night. So we're talking about every hour, or more (much more!) I had some nights when I would literally nurse her until she fell asleep, adjust myself to try and take the weight off my very sore back, try to settle back to sleep, and just as I'd drift off, she would reawaken. And then that same pattern continued until I finally got out of bed at 8 am having pretty much not slept for more than 15-20 minutes at a time all night long. No exaggeration. So unfortuately, even if this is a normal sleep pattern for her (and I kind of doubt it, she seems to not be getting as much sleep as she needs) it is absolutely not working for our family. I'm not about to try and force her, but if she could sleep 4 hours in a row, that would be heavenly!

 

[lactivist]

That sounds oh so familiar to me. My son (17 months) wakes about as much as your daughter. So many times I get him nursed back to sleep and roll over and he is back awake again. WAAAAA!!! The other night he was up from 3 until 6:30 and back awake again (for the day) by 8am. I will be following this thread to see if any ideas might work for us too. My husband is unable to do any nighttime parenting because he is such a deep sleeper and is so out of it that it doesn't help anyone and my son REFUSES to be comforted by my dh at night. I am tired beyond belief. I can't imagine if I had to go back to work soon. If we didn't cosleep I would never get a moment of sleep. I hope you (and I) find some solutions soon. I do have a sense that my son will ease up a bit after his teeth all come in. He wants to be a sleeper but something is stopping him.
In support,
Wendi

 

[MCatLvrMom2A&X]

Went thru that with my dd she would do exactly what you discribed above. It about did me in.

I delt with it the best I could till she was 2yo then I couldnt take it any more so I started working on getting her to not nurse as much. I got a sippy cup and sat it on the head of the bed. If she wouldnt go back to sleep laying belly to belly with me then I would offer her the cup and tell her the bb's were sleeping. Sometimes the drink was all it took other times if she was adament I let her nurse. It was a very gradual process but it eventually did help. She still never slept more than 5hours straight till she was 3+ but at least I could be comfortable not having to lay a certain way to let her nurse.

A big

: to you. I hope you get the sleep you need ASAP it sucks being a zombie.

 

[jaye_p]

Hey mama, I feel your pain. Ds has never slept more than 1-1.5 hours without interruption. He wakes up over & over again at night and demands mommy milk - though most of the time what he wants is not milk, but a nipple to use to suck himself back to sleep, and he won't use a paci. So I've been "sleeping" in roughly 45 minute to 1.5 hour stretches since he was born almost 26 months ago. I too am going crazy with sleep deprivation, and I think I might be trying Dr. Jay Gordon's nightweaning method soon.