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Discussion Starter #1
<p>I just signed my very own Declaration of Independence! And I couldn't be happier :)</p>
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<p>Of course, after posting that I had done so on my Facebook status, everyone instantly thought I was getting a divorce...</p>
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<p>why is it that a woman, in most people's minds, can only declare that she is of herself and for herself ONLY if she's leaving a man???? Why can't she decide that she's worth putting herself first while still being a wife, mom, sister, friend? You don't have to be alone to be independent. To care about yourself.</p>
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<p>I signed my declaration because I needed a concrete reminder that I - ME - am top priority in my life. Everything that is MINE is top priority. MY life. MY family. MY marriage. MYself. MY home. MY job. ME.</p>
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<p>Why? Call it victim guilt, something bore into me by constant abuse (past relationship), but I've spent too long giving to everyone and anyone and being what they needed me to be so I could give give give. This is all fine and dandy if you don't forget yourself in the meantime. Well, I did. I gave until I had nothing left to give. What happens there is that everything that means anything to ME ends up at the bottom of the barrel. Myself. My marriage. My kids. My home. With no energy for MY things in life, the house gets destroyed, I have ZERO patience for my own kids who I end up yelling at, and my husband? There's nothing for me to give him but attitude. And why? Because I'm TIRED!!!...... too tired to from everything else to take care of what I should be taking care of.</p>
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<p>My family</p>
<p>My home</p>
<p>My life</p>
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<p>ME!!!</p>
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<p>Now I am actually ill now from draining myself for everyone and everything else. This is not something that I'm happy at all about other than it has given me a wake-up call. If I do not take care of myself - IF I DON'T PUT MYSELF FIRST - I will get worse. I can die. I've already been to the ER and almost kicked the bucket once. That's one time too many IMO!</p>
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<p>And who will take care of what is MINE if I'm gone???</p>
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<p>no one.</p>
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<p>I finally got fed up....thank GOD! I sat through one last time I was going to let anyone tell me what to do, say, think, be and made a silent vow to myself that yes, this WILL be the very last time.</p>
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<p>And I will not apologize.</p>
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<p>It might not make any sense to anyone else, but that does not matter to me. I will not apologize. I will only keep keeping myself first and foremost. There is NOTHING to apologize for when you put yourself first. You've done NOTHING wrong!</p>
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<p>No more, "I'm sorry, but I can't do that for you today." Instead it's, "I cannot do that for you today. I am taking care of myself/my family today."</p>
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<p>Apologies, as I've learned, cause you to second guess yourself and make you want to make up for where you are lacking. Can make you feel guilty. "Well, maybe I can fit you in...." all along knowing in your bones you're going to zap yourself by going this extra mile...but they need you. It's something you've always done. It's tradition. It's just this one time. It's just this. It's just that...</p>
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<p>NO! I can't! I do not have the time/energy/patience. I HAVE to keep those, save those, STORE those for MY things. For ME. MY family. MY job. MY home. MY life.</p>
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<p>I'm not doing ANYTHING wrong in putting myself first. Hence, NO APOLOGIES!</p>
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<p><strong>I am number one on my list. All things that are mine are number one on my list. EVERYONE and EVERYTHING else will have to go elsewhere unless I have time, energy, and patience left AFTER taking care of what is mine. ONLY AFTER taking care of ME. If I have zero reserves, I WILL say no. I will NOT apologize. I will just say NO. And I will be HAPPY with my decision. And I will NOT regret the consequences of my choice. I am WORTH this effort. I am WORTH being first.</strong></p>
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<p><strong>This is my declaration of independence.</strong></p>
<p><br></p>
<p></p>
 
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<p><span><img alt="bow.gif" src="http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/bow.gif">  Wow!  That is so powerful!  Just reading it gave me shivers and made me smile.  I'm so glad for you!</span></p>
 

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Awesome!
 

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Discussion Starter #5
<p>I have found this very empowering...and the laundry and dishes seem to get done with less effort too, which was not something I thought would EVER happen... ;)</p>
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<p>I have showered, I have put on make-up, I have worked out, I have sat and listened to my DS read to me, I have sat and watched a movie with my DH, I have said no to family drama and took a nap with DD...I am happy and this is only the beginning. Why didn't I think of this sooner?!??! :)))</p>
 

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<p>cool!  i'm glad you are feeling so good!  <span><img alt="love.gif" src="http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/love.gif"></span></p>
 

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<p>Yay for reclamation of self!</p>
 
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