[cal]

...and I'm just about to give up on him he thinks he's got it under control but he's fooling himself-out of the last 10 days he's been drunk 8 times and I mean drunk this morning at 7:30 am I had to take a bottle of wine away from him he'd (i'm guessing from info from friends)had about 6 beers and a bottle and a half of red wine this is a normal drinking night for him.It goes in cycles binges I guess you'd call them-I feel like all his time is spent drinking or recovering from drinking-He cleans up for awhile and I start to see our future opening back up but then it all comes crumbling down time and time again-anyone else been here done that?Help me!
When he's healthy he's great my best friend-when he's like this he's depressed and abusive-I'm too embarrassed to really talk to anyone about this "problem"but I'm through with covering for him and taking care of him I deserve a better life than this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Drinking has made him unreliable in ALL areas of his life He even made me lose my job because he was too drunk to look after our baby(on 3 different occasions)and now we are super poor but somehow he finds money to drink with but getting him to pay the bills is like pulling teeth.
I'm thinking about waking him up right now and kicking him out.
please reply!!

 

[nonconformnmom]

Hugs to you. It is such a difficult thing .... Not knowing the details of your personal situation, it's difficult to know how to respond. Personally, I decided to initiate the leaving when I was in that situation. I had asked him to leave for months and he said he would but he never did. I finally just packed up my and my 2-year old daughter's stuff and moved out. That was the only way he got the message. We were able to negotiate amicably at some later point and I got to move back into our home with our daughter and he got an apartment. But if I hadn't of made the move, he never would have.

You might find the posts on this thread helpful. Best wishes to you; I hope it all works out for the best for you.

 

[mingomama]

My husband is a recovering alcoholic. AA has saved us. He has been trying to stay sober on and off for about 4 years....he found AA last fall and it is the one thing that has truely made a difference for all of us.
The problem is your husband needs to find AA for himself, forcing someone to go does not work.
Can you stay with your parents for awhile? Maybe telling your husband he needs to take care of himself for you and baby to live with him will urge him to get help.
There is hope. Get to an Alanon meeting if you can. Bring your babe if you have to, it's ok.
I never thought AA would help. I wasn't even sure who AA was for. I sort of thought only rock bottom older drunks went to AA. It's really for everyone.
Good luck and tell us how you are.

 

[PikkuMyy]

My dad has been sober for 5.5 years - only because a) he realized that he needed it, and b) he tried AA with an honest intention to persist for the first time.

I don't know how much it affected his decision but I, his only daughter and good friend, refused to talk to him from the point I took him to detox with my stepmother and the point he joined AA. I told him that I didn't want to be part of his life until he joined. It took about 2 1/2 months but he's be sober ever since!

 

[Tuesday]

A big hug to you. If you've not yet called, I would try AA to start. I don't know your situation and I don't know what you'd like to do but AA might be a good place to start. If you have a good doctor in your town in Ontario (I'm in Southern Ontario too), perhaps he or she can also advise some resources for your husband and yourself and perhaps provide some counselling? You need support right now and to be made aware of the community resources available to you. Even churches (I'm not a member of one) can provide links to community resources as well many churches host AA meetings. Please don't be embarrrassed. This is not the same situation but I was in a relationship with a very very abusive man many years ago and he threatened me so severely, I was too afraid and embarrassed to ask for help. I'm so glad you're asking for help now!

Good luck. As I'm in Southern Ontario too, if I can help, please let me know.

 

[stafl]

My ex was alcoholic and abusive, too. We both always blamed the abuse on the alcoholism, but it didn't go away when he quit drinking, it just got sneakier and harder to pinpoint instead. Rather than hitting me, he'd call me names, put me down, make me feel worthless. There was always an excuse ready, he never took responsibility for his drinking problem. He always blamed me when he started drinking again (and he always did start drinking again) but when he was sober he was so sweet, he always knew the exact right thing to say to prevent me from leaving, or to make me come back "home" after I'd left. AA didn't help him. Well, it did help him stop drinking, but it did absolutely nothing for the abusive behavior. Maybe it did, maybe the abuse got worse in a way. I was never able to make him leave. Even after calling the police the night he busted out the window with my head, they would not come and take his drunk @$$ away because I didn't have any bruises and wasn't bleeding and his name was on the lease. They said they would come and take me to jail for false accusations or some such nonsense. I had to be the one to leave. I had to finally stand up for myself, find my self-esteem, and walk out that door never looking back. And, like always, he said all the right things to push my buttons to make me want to turn around and give him one more chance, but he'd run out of "one more" chances a long time ago and somehow, that last time, it didn't work anymore.