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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Months ago I posted my horrors of living in this apartment. We're on the third floor, no yard, (now rats) and the neighbor below us had a week on calling the cops on us every single day for "noise" because my children were "playing too loud."<br><br>
Since that, I've been obsessive about keeping my kids quiet. No walking loud, omg stop running! No no skipping! No don't play doggy your knees are too loud on the floor. I know your baby sister likes you to play chase with her, but its too loud. No cars on the floor. The list of potential sources of noise go on and on...<br><br>
The floors are not well made here. Its an old old building with no sound proofing. When we walk across the living room floor it shakes everything on OUR walls and desks. I can hear the kids on the first floor playing and running and stomping, and thats with the 2nd floor in between us. So much of the problem isn't my fault. Its just the building.<br><br>
So anyway.. after awhile 2ndfloor admitted she was being a B*^&$ and that she was sorry. We eventually became friends. Not close friends or anything but we would talk. Since the first floor and I were okay neighbors, she became an okay one and we would all sit on the porch and talk, sometimes have dinner together, etc. Its been going well for over a year now.<br><br>
She left for another state to visit relatives for the week, and her kids stayed at the 1st floors house while the dh was working. I only saw them once the past week outside BBQing. I said "hi" for a few minutes and went on my way. Not to be snobby but I had to get dinner at the store.<br><br>
My dh comes up and tells me yesterday that firstfloor told him she is no longer friends with second floor. I'm like.. umm.. ok. They were much closer to each other than I was. (I just don't let myself latch onto people that way)<br><br>
So I was downstairs sitting on the porch yesterday when first floor comes out. She tells me why it all happened. (she was watching 2nd floors son, 11 yrs old and he trashed her house and got violent kicking and punching her. She's pregnant. She held his hands to restrain him and then called dad at work. Dad was fine with what she did, picked up son. Later son called mommy in another state and all hell broke loose. 2nd floor left 1st floor nasty messages on her phone threatening to put her hands on HER kids since she did it to hers, etc.. and called her names. They said they'd never speak to her again, etc.) I just listened and tried to remain impartial. I really hate getting in the middle of peoples fights.<br><br>
Then first floor said that its ok cause I was already in it anyway. I'm like HUH? She said that that week second floor had talked to her and told her that she's jealous of me because I flirt with her husband and want to sleep with him????! (he's um... not attractive at all.. and we're both married. I mean.. just.. NO. Never a possibility there.) She said that he says hello and goodbye only to me and never anyone else, and that at a birthday party the week before I took out my entire breast in front of him when I fed my baby. Um.. I've been nursing for almost four years. I think I know how to nurse without taking my whole breast out. But since of course.. I'm always flirting with him and want to sleep with him, it makes sense that I'd want to pull my whole breast out. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/dizzy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Dizzy">: Did I mention that my husband was sitting next to me when this all was supposedly happening?<br><br>
Then I found out that she has been calling housing behind my back and telling them that the trash issue (other tenants throwing it on the ground outside) is really just me doing it. When I know she knows it isn't us. And that our house is so messy that she called to tell them that too. Mind you, she's been inside here a handful of times unannounced and my vacuuming probably needed to be done with 2 cereal throwers in the house. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> But I specifically remember apologizing for the mess once, and she made this big "Oh this?! This isn't messy, besides you have kids. I know how it is. I would never come to a friends house and judge like that.It doesn't bother me at all!"<br><br>
She also asked first floor if I was at that BBQ and ate with them. "Was <i>Nature</i> there?" "Uh.. no. She only said hi and left." "<b>Good</b>!!" <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"><br><br>
So now... I'm feeling insecure. I haven't confronted her because she's a bit scary when she's like that. I honestly feel she's been taking peoples pills when she was out of state because.. she gets violently angry that is just.. not right. I don't feel like dealing with a screaming mad woman calling the cops and calling my kids names. I'm insulted about the whole, me wanting her husband thing. Really insulted. I mean, if she has a problem with HIM then she needs to take it up with him. If she wants me to ignore him, or stop talking to him in the hallway or whatever.. then FINE! I could have done that. I really don't give a crap about him. But to twist her own insecurities around as somehow being my fault? And to bring my kids and nursing into it? Hell I've nursed around them for the past 2 years. Its never been an issue. Suddenly I'm obscene and hitting on her husband.<br><br>
I'm sad and frustrated. We weren't true friends, but we at least got along.<br>
I thought.<br><br>
This petty S*&^ needs to stop. I hate the high school drama. Shame on me for even sticking my head out into the hallway and attempt to make friends with women.<br>
Women suck.<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"><br><br>
While I wait for the cops to start showing up for noise complaints again... I'm gonna find a rock and crawl under it.<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/gloomy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Gloomy">:
 

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How awful for you! No advice but couldn't read w/o offering a hug <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>HollyBearsMom</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7957418"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">How awful for you! No advice but couldn't read w/o offering a hug <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"></div>
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Thank you. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"><br><br><div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>ThreeBeans</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7957458"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Ugh. I would let the landlord know. Way creepy.</div>
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Unfortunaly the landlord lives in another state. I don't even know his name. He does everything through a housing agency, and they.. suck. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/irked.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="irked">: They're the reason we're still living with roof rats and rat mites. Three of my bedrooms are quarantined off because of all the holes in the walls from rats and mites in there. All of us sleep on the living room floor so we're together and away from the enclosure of the bedrooms. Rats running over your beds at night is just not cool ya know? I called them months ago multiple times. They said they'd send the exterminator out. They never did. We still wake up covered in mite bites even in the living room and there isn't a freakin thing I can do about it.<br><br>
So I doubt they'll care that the neighbor is being an ass. When she did that whole calling the cops on us for stupid noise complaints, housing sent out "Get along with each other or you'll all be evicted" letters. Gee thanks. (I mean, how do you stop a 12 month old from walking too loud when she's learning to walk? Or keep a toddler from well... toddling? <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/dizzy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Dizzy"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"><br><br>
The whole situation is beyind exasperating. Its the reason I'm <---- manifesting myself to the top of the waiting list for alternate housing. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/wink1.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="wink1">
 

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I don't understand why you are still there? There are rats running around the bedrooms, your family sleep on the floor and the lady below is a nut case. Can you move?
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/yikes.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="EEK!"><br><br>
can you call the health department about the rats and mites?<br><br>
If they deem the place inhabitable, there are organizations that can help you get someplace new FAST, since it would be an emergency...<br><br>
usually, that is.....<br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>hillymum</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7957826"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I don't understand why you are still there? There are rats running around the bedrooms, your family sleep on the floor and the lady below is a nut case. Can you move?</div>
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No. We have a housing subsidy and its pretty complicated to move. It has to fall within a rent cap and include utilities, and have at least three bedrooms. (because we have 3 kids) Its not that easy to find in this area, and I have to stay in the area because I have shared custody of my oldest daughter.<br><br>
We've been here 5 years and put in an application for a housing complex a few weeks ago. We're on the waiting list, but I'm not sure how long it will take. If we moved to a different apartment (if we even found one) it would have to be ground floor cause I'm not going to live this way again. So that narrows it down to nothing anyway. It would also lock us in a lease that we can't break, or lose housing.. and then if my name comes up for the complex (family friendly, ground floor, private yards, playgrounds) and I'm in a lease.. I would have to pass it up. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"> So I can't do that.<br><br>
Two years ago the building owners sold our building to someone else. The first owners were husband and wife and very nice. They fixed anything that went wrong. The new person? Or management I should say... they don't do anything.. except send out threatening letters every month about something. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol">
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Unreal</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7957871"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/yikes.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="EEK!"><br><br>
can you call the health department about the rats and mites?<br><br>
If they deem the place inhabitable, there are organizations that can help you get someplace new FAST, since it would be an emergency...<br><br>
usually, that is.....<br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"></div>
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I have no idea. I've been looking on the Maine website but can't find rats or rat mites listed as "health" concerns. I'm unsure who to address it with. Since DHHS runs everything I'm also leery about that. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/redface.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Embarrassment"><br><br>
ETA: there is a known electrical problem with the building. Breakers trip in every apartment daily. I cannot run the coffee pot at the same time as *anything* else or it blows. There are only two fuses in the apartment. (its a big 3 bedroom) I've complained before but the management says "its an old building its bound to have problems like that. Nothing we can do."<br><br>
But add the rats to the old electrical issues, and that has me scared.<br><br>
There are also no working fire detectors in the hallways at all. Two apartments don't have one at all. (ours does because it had to pass inspection.. but, they don't look for internal electrical issues.. just, do the outlets work kinda thing.)<br><br>
There is also known lead paint. They come in and put spots of paint in non matching colors all over my walls to "fix" this issue once a year to be in compliance with housing. My walls look awesome....<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/rolleyes.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="rolleyes">
 

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Wow, she's something.<br>
I am so sorry about the housing situation. It's just completely unfair.
 

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<a href="http://www.maine.gov/ag/?r=clg&s=chap14#14.5" target="_blank">http://www.maine.gov/ag/?r=clg&s=chap14#14.5</a><br><br>
Read where it says<br><br>
§ 14.5. Tenants Are Protected By A Warranty Of Habitability<br><br>
Just because your problem isn't listed doesn't mean it isn't included.
 

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I lived with a horror show of a landlord. Nightmare - same thing about the noise, etc. They were completely unreasonable to the point that I moved in with my MIL for the last few months of my lease - and I only had one child. No real advice other than to move as soon as you can find someplace affordable. We had the same issue where the people downstairs would apologize and then a few months would go by and things would get harassing again. It took a toll on my marriage, my patience with my toddler, etc. It's not fair that I had to move and it took me MONTHS to get past it, but moving was the best thing I ever did. People like that are POISON and generally don't change. From someone who has been there and can relate 100% (all the way down to the screaming in your face temper tantrums) I'm really sorry you're dealing with this. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">:
 

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Discussion Starter · #13 ·
<i>(1) The condition complained of must be a serious one; it must be one that makes your house unsafe or unhealthy;</i> <i>e.g., broken windows, toilet malfunctions, rotting stairs, electrical hazards, oil burner problems, leaks in ceiling, hazardous lead based paint.</i><br><br><br>
Are rats and mites considered a serious risk? (instinct says yes but I'm not sure what the town thinks. If it were one or two mice maybe not.. but these are rats. I have dead pictures of them. My cats kill them when they can.)<br><br>
The electrical stuff got rubber stamped when they sold the building so the city thinks its up to code. No one ever came to look though. We know that. Does the town send out the code enforcement electrician person for free to inspect? Me saying the electric is screwed up isn't enough ya know?<br><br>
The lead paint unfortunately they don't have to do anything about because the house is grandfathered. All they have to do is spot paint chip spots once a year. I know that because housing told me themselves that its within the law for them to do that for a house this old.
 

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Nature, rats definitely fall under the list of things your landlord has to take care of by law. Also, if he's supposed to be providing subsidized housing, he is definitely supposed to maintain certain standards. That is not cool. Let's hope that new place comes through quickly for you. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">
 

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Discussion Starter · #15 ·
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Cullens_Girl</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7958114"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">It took a toll on my marriage, my patience with my toddler, etc.</div>
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Yes. Thats the worst part. I don't feel like I SHOULD have to tell my daughter she can't play. They are not loud, its just the building and the people are unreasonable. The times they called the cops were during the day. My kids are in bed at 7pm. If they can't make a little noise during the day, when can they? Should I duct tape them to the couch? It kills me when they are all playing so nice and getting along and I have to redirect them to a "quiet" activity. My 3yo is pretty active, so I know stifling her is not easy or fair.<br><br>
Once she called the cops on us for noise and we weren't even home. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/dizzy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Dizzy">:
 

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Bloody hell, what a wretched living situation <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad">
 

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Oh my god... seriously, this situation SUCKS.<br><br>
You are in Maine? If you could move to Mass I would rent you my house cheap! (we might be getting on campus housing soon anyway) I cannot imagine living with rats and rat mites!!!! It blows my mind. We had mice here for a while (I am sure some are still living here on the sly) but we took simple steps and the infestation was halted.<br><br>
Oh! Steel wool! (or the copper colored stuff too) I found some holes the mice were using to run through the cupboards where the cats couldn't get them and blocked them up with wads of steel wool (like you use on pots and pans) and they stopped using the holes. I don't know if it works with rats but it might help. If I had a mite infestation, I would not hesitate to BOMB, like a flea bomb. I HATE doing it, but mites, fleas and all that can spread disease. When you have pests like rats you need to make your place a place they don't want to be. Cats are a good start, steel wool in the holes they are using, making sure every scrap of food is inaccessible to them and all food waste is out of your apt. every night and all is clean, cutting off access to water at night too... (toilet shut, drains plugged, no standing water in plant pots, sinks emptied etc)<br><br>
You do NOT deserve to live this way... the landlord or management company should be ashamed to let your family live in such appalling conditions. I wish wish wish I could help. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"><br><br>
*HUGS*
 

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I definitely think that you should report this to someone...that is no way to have to live. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"><br><br>
I hope your name rockets right to the top of that list!
 
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