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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Someone suggested that I post this here for support/information. It's not circumcision related but thought you might be able to help or offer support! :) Thanks!<br><br>
I'm a mess. He has fluid around his testicle and it's getting bigger and since he's almost 2, the surgeon said it needs to be fixed. It's called a hydrocele. I'm horrified. I don't want him to be scared. I can't nurse him 3 hours before we get there... he's gonna flip out about that and then when they take him away from me, he's gonna FLIP out and so am I. I'm supposed to protect him and he's gonna think I abandoned him... isn't he? He's not going to trust me after this. I'm so upset. It's April 7th. How am I going to get through this? I'm a mess, huh?
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> Just wanted to send you a hug.
 

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deep breath.<br><br>
Why won't they let you nurse ? Breastmilk is considered a clear liquid. Double check.<br><br>
Also there is no reason should have to leave before he's out. They can sedate him while you hold him. After he's out they move him to the OR, then let you into the recovery room before he wakes. Double check.<br><br>
He will still trust you. You are his mama, you are NOT abandoning him. You are makign sure he get good medical care.
 

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Couple of suggestions:<br>
If you don't ask you don't get so be sure to ask the surgical staff and nursing staff if it's possible to:<br>
a) Escort him to surgery and hold his hand until he drifts off. They should allow you to wear protective gear just like they do in a NICU.<br>
b) If that's not possible, ask to escort him to the doors, and get the nurse to introduce herself with mask off and have him watch her put it on so he knows who's behind it.<br>
c) Be there when he wakes up so yours is the first face he sees, reassure and tell him that that will be the case if true<br><br>
Be assertive when you make these requests and make it clear it's not only for your son's benefit but for theirs. i.e. "It will be so much easier on you if he's not freaking out and I'm willing to help you achieve that." <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/thumb.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="thumbs up">
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> to you, mama!!<br><br>
Two things - is your son intact? Ask whether they are going to cath him for the surgery. Find out whether they can just use an external baggie type catheter so there's no reason for them to retract him to insert the catheter. If they do want to use an internal cath, find out why, and if you really can't dissuade them then you need to be extremely clear with everyone from the surgeons to the nurses about NOT retracting him to get the cath in.<br><br>
Second, make sure the surgeon KNOWS there is to be NO CIRC. Write it on every consent form. Make sure they know there will be hell to pay if they circ him "while we're at it."<br><br>
On the nursing - you should be able to nurse him up to 2-3 hours before surgery. Talk to the surgeon and the anesthesiologist about whether that's their hard and fast rule or whether it's OK to nurse closer to the surgery.<br><br><a href="http://www.kellymom.com/health/illness/baby-surgery.html" target="_blank">http://www.kellymom.com/health/illne...y-surgery.html</a>
 

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My son just had a dental procedure under general anesthesia a few weeks ago. He's also 2, and I was TERRIFIED. Meeting the pediatric anesthesiologist before the procedure was very reassuring. I was able to talk to him, ask questions, and felt comfortable he was in good hands. There wasn't a risk of him being retracted because he didn't need a catheter (it was a short procedure) and his clothes/diaper never came off. If that had been necessary, I would have made a big deal about telling everyone he wasn't to be retracted, even a little bit, for any reason and putting it in writing, as well as writing "NO CIRC" on consent forms, just in case. BTW, my son was sedated via an injection in his upper arm prior to having the IV placed and being intubated, and I was with him for that. Within a few minutes of the shot, he was limp and his eyes were glassy and he was 'out'. So, I was with him then, when he fell asleep and I was also with him when he awoke. They also told me not to nurse for 3 hours before the procedure, which wasn't a problem for us because he's night-weaned now and it was an early morning appointment. The anesthesiologist did tell me not to nurse him for 2 hours afterwards as well, and he was very fussy so I nursed him a little early and he promptly vomited. That was our experience. If you have any questions, don't hesitate to ask. I'm a bit obsessive about researching things, and what I found regarding the safety of general anesthesia was pretty reassuring as far as mortality. These days, it's pretty safe. I also talked to a friend of mine who's graduating medical school this spring and she was also reassuring and said that children actually do better under general then most adults because they're generally pretty healthy, so that helped me relax about it a bit more as well.<br><br>
HTHs,<br><br>
Jen
 

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Do they HAVE to do surgery for it?<br>
2 of my brothers had hydroceles. (They're twins.) I think they were around 3-4 years at the time.<br>
The first brother had the surgery on both sides, and he came out of it just fine. Then a few months later, brother #2 started to have the same swelling. My parents were uninsured and couldn't afford a 2nd surgery right away, so they waited a few months while saving up and the hydrocele took care of itself. Apparently it's pretty common for these things to seal up on their own.<br>
So, you may want a 2nd and 3rd opinion if you haven't gotten them already.<br><br>
If the surgery is absolutely necessary, I really sympathize. My DS is almost 2 also (April 16!) and though he's weaned, he's still very attached and absolutely would panic about being taken away from us. I can only imagine the stress on you too. I second the previous poster about asking if you can nurse sooner before the surgery, if you can hold him while he drifts off, etc. Remember that YOU are the customer, and "it's against policy" is not good enough. You absolutely should be allowed to make this as easy on yourself and your son as possible.<br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">: Please keep us updated!
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
Thank you to everyone. No, he is not intact. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"> It's a decision I regret everytime I change his diaper and not likely a mistake I would ever make in the future. I think I will apologize to my ds until the day I die! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/redface.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Embarrassment"><br><br>
Calling to speak with the anesthesiologist before the surgery is a great idea! Thank you!<br><br>
I am going to demand one way or another that my ds be treated with the upmost respect and they need to either konk him out before they take him away or they're gonna have to konk me out!!!!<br><br>
Yes, I do think the surgery is necessary (boingo82). He has had this since he was born and in the 2 years, it has only gotten bigger. They don't think he can wait much longer... we've left it alone for 2 years to clear up and like I said, it's only getting worse.<br><br><br>
Thank you again, to everyone. I am so grateful for this board and the wisdom I find on it! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/love.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="love">
 

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Honestly if he's not intact there's little to worry about aside from the usual surgery worries.
 

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Where is he having the surgery? I am guessing that he will be cared for by people who specialize in pediatrics?<br><br>
I had a surgery scheduled and went to the hospital for my pre-op appointment where I met with what I thought was THE anesthesiologist. I quickly learned that I was meeting with any ole anesthesiologist and that they had no idea who would actually be caring for me. I ended up cancelling the procedure, finding a different doctor and explaining that I wanted to meet with THE people who would be caring for me.<br><br>
I'd talk to your surgeon and see if he can specifically recommend an anestheologist and if he can schedule his surgery with that anesthesiologist and schedule a meeting with him/her before the surgury so you can discuss your concerns and learn the usual protocol and see if it can be modified to meet your needs (if for instance they don't allow parents with the children for the sedation portion.) If it means you have to reschedule for a week or so later, I'd do it.<br><br>
Remember, our children are in tune to our emotions and anxieties. What ever information you can obtain to reassure you will help your son to be calm.<br><br>
What about some role playing too? Is he very verbal? Can you have a stuffed animal that needs surgery? Can you play out the whole surgery with the animal so that things like "going to sleep" and getting something "fixed" is not new to him.<br><br>
I have a bit of an inside angle on this situation because I work very part time at an animal hospital and my dd has seen surgery for the animals there and I've explained the whole thing to her so she's pretty comfortable with the process. Luckily, we've never had to have any surgery for her but if she did, I think being able to talk about the animals will help her.<br><br>
Good luck and please keep us updated on how things go!
 

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My son has had several operations, including two hernia repairs (at age 9 months and 3 years), one surgery for an undescended testicle (at 14 months), and a hydrocele repair (at age 10).<br><br>
He had the hydrocele for years - I think it developed a year or so after the second hernia surgery, so he had it for at least 5 years. We talked about it regularly, and it never caused him any discomfort, but it wasn't going away either. Finally our doctor suggested having it fixed, and my son agreed.<br><br>
I woud definitely ask if you can wait another year. If it is a hydrocele and not a hernia, there shouldn't be any harm in waiting. In another year he will be able to understand that he needs an operation to fix his hydrocele - and he WILL trust you, because he will understand that you are taking care of him.<br><br>
I totally understand your fears - between my two sons, they had 7 operations! The first one was the scariest, of course. At 9 months, we couldn't explain to Bryan what was happening to him. But at 3 we COULD explain, and tell him what to expect. I accompanied him to the door of the operating room, and he was able to bring his blankie and stuffed Pooh in with him. It is important that YOU be brave, and not transfer your fears to him.<br><br>
He woke up in the recovery room with a nurse, and they brought him to me in post-op soon after. When we talked about it later, he described the operating room, but he didn't remember a thing about the recovery room - he didn't remember me not being there when he woke up.<br><br>
The recovery was uneventful - he sat around for the first day (we were home by noon), and he was running around normally within two days.<br><br>
It is helpful to have someone with you in the waiting room. Typically the doctor will call the waiting room when the operation is over (while the child is still asleep), but they're all different - make sure you ask the surgeon to let you know as soon as it's over. In two cases with my sons, the doctor actually came out to the waiting room to tell me about it, which I really appreciated - as soon as you see the doc's smiling face, you know everything is OK.
 
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