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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I'm a mess. He has fluid around his testicle and it's getting bigger and since he's almost 2, the surgeon said it needs to be fixed. I'm horrified. I don't want him to be scared. I can't nurse him 3 hours before we get there... he's gonna flip out about that and then when they take him away from me, he's gonna FLIP out and so am I. I'm supposed to protect him and he's gonna think I abandoned him... isn't he? He's not going to trust me after this. I'm so upset. It's April 7th. How am I going to get through this? I'm a mess, huh?
 

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It will be okay. Just try to stay calm and talk to him. Don't beat yourself up. Somethings have to be handled and they don't fit very well in the AP world. But you will get through this and before you know it you will hardly remember it even happened.<br><br>
Can they schedule the surgery for first thing first thing in the morning. Can you take someone with you to help out when he wants to nurse. How about some fun new distracting toy? Is there a child life specialist at the hospital who can show him around and help with things? They are really great.<br><br>
We took our DD in for her second open heart surgery at 18mo. I was a mess of course too. But, it wasn't nearly as bad as I expected. Well, it was but looking back now, things went better than I expected.<br><br>
I will keep you and your little guy in my thoughts for a smooth procedure and a quick recovery.
 

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Oh no! I'm so sorry mama. I'm afraid I don't really have any wisdom to share but I know you'll gets lots of good of advice here. I just wanted to send <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"><br><br>
I'm sure you and your little guy will find a way to face this together. My son is almost 2 and he's really beginning to understand things. I think if you talk to your son and let him know what is happening he won't feel so abandoned. He loves you and he'll keep trusting you. It's going to be tough but you have to do what's best for his health.<br><br>
deb
 

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wow, poor little guy and poor mama, too! You will get thru it, remember, you have to be strong for him. I know it's hard, and very scary. I can't imagine surgery. When my dd was born premature, she had a horrible heart murmur and at like 2 weeks old, i had to take her in for an echo and that was terrifying for both of us. Just remember, it is one day, and after that day (horrible as it is), it will pass and it will help him heal and he won't likely remember it after a couple of days or even a couple of weeks. good luck, I'm sure everything will go fantastic, just hang in there and lean on friends and family and offer help wherever and whenever it is given!<br><br>
best wishes<br>
jen<br>
caitlyn 2/9/04
 

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You should post your concerns in the case against circumcision forum. Although the hydrocele isn't directly related to the circumcision issue, there are some extremely knowledgeable folks on that forum. We get a lot of male urinary tract/ reproductive tract questions.
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
Thank you, everyone! I appreciate all of the support. I just follow such AP ways that even having to ignore my sons' wants one day scares me into thinking that he'll lost trust in me... after all, it seems that is what we all preach. But, I know it's in his best interest and I don't have much of a choice.<br><br>
Queen of Pride: Thank you for the suggestion. I will go over and post on the other board!<br><br>
chrfath: Wow! Open heart surgery... I'm ashamed to be complaining. I'm so glad she is OK.<br><br>
Thanks for all of the hugs, ladies. I'm glad I can lean on you.
 

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My son had hernia surgery when he was 1 year old. I was so freaked out... I totally understand what you are going through.<br><br>
The night before the surgery we got a call from the anesthesiologist. He asked us how DS was with strangers, and we told him that he'd never been taken care of by anyone but his parents. He told us that they would be giving him a sedative spiked juice before they did anything, no IVs, no pain, no time away from mom or dad before he was asleep.<br><br>
It went so well... the put us in a playroom and DS played with the toys for a few minutes. Then they came in with a "special cup!!" just for him. He drank it and fell asleep in DH's arms.<br><br>
He woke up for a minute after surgery in the recovery room, but then he went back to sleep for a couple of hours. When he woke up again he nursed right away and we were free to go.<br><br>
If I were you I would clarify the procedure with your son before you go to the hospital. I was sure it was going to be hellish letting him go but he was so happy and relaxed, then he fell asleep. It was much easier that I thought it would be.<br><br>
Best of luck to your little boy. I hope he is just fine.
 

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Hi Isis - my son had this surgery right about that age too! Truly, it isn't that bad, I was so worried and it really all went fine, much better than I could possibly have hoped.<br><br>
His surgery was early in the morning - we had to be at the hospital at 6 am - so we just popped him in the car as soon as he woke up, and once we arrived at the hospital the environment was new & different enough that he forgot about wanting to nurse. Before they took him away (I know <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/mecry.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="crying">) they gave him a really powerful oral sedative. They told us they did that so that the child isn't freaked out by being taken away from mom & dad and by the general anesthesia breathing mask. Seriously, the oral sedative made him so loopy that I don't think he even noticed that we weren't with him when they wheeled him to surgery - and they took him away in a cute little red wagon with warm blankets & a soft new teddy bear. It didn't mean that *we* weren't traumatized, but I think that he was fine!<br><br>
We were with him when he woke up & I was allowed to nurse him right away. The recovery was nothing - he was wanting to run around that afternoon. The hardest part was that we were supposed to restrict his activity for two weeks. Right! Give me some more sedatives to take home and maybe that could happen. Anyway, I know many people here don't think surgery is good idea for young children, but I felt it was important enough to my son's health to have it taken care of. PM me if you want to talk anymore about it, I know it's scary! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">
 

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my son's surgery was a very similar experience to VBMama. i was very concerned of course but it was a snap.<br><br>
i think it is good to think about the things that you are worried about before hand. distraction for not being able to nurse. i hope they give the sedative before rolling him away.<br><br>
never hurts to get a second opinion although i see that the surgery is coming up soon. our surgery was at a major children's hospital-not the rinky dinky one my insurance company thought we should go to.
 

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Discussion Starter · #12 ·
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>nichole</strong></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">my son's surgery was a very similar experience to VBMama. i was very concerned of course but it was a snap.<br><br>
i think it is good to think about the things that you are worried about before hand. distraction for not being able to nurse. i hope they give the sedative before rolling him away.<br><br>
never hurts to get a second opinion although i see that the surgery is coming up soon. our surgery was at a major children's hospital-not the rinky dinky one my insurance company thought we should go to.</div>
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Yes, our son's surgery will be at the Los Angeles Children's Hospital- that I am grateful for. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 

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I thought I'd share a little of what I did when my very frequent nursing 15 month old had surgery.<br><br>
I woke him up and nursed him right at the time limit and then left him in bed with dad. When he woke up, dad got him dressed and ready to go. I actually didn't let him see me until he was buckled in the car seat. This might not be right for everyone, but I knew that he'd be comfortable getting up with dad and would have been more upset to see me and not be able to nurse.<br><br>
Once we were at the hospital, there was so much going on (including new toys!) that he wasn't really focused on nursing at all.<br><br>
I'm glad to hear you're having the surgery done at a children's hospital. We did too and this greatly eased my fear about anesthesia. Do you know for sure how the anesthesia will be given? Be sure to ask so you know exactly what will happen. At our local Children's Hospital, they DON'T take the toddler away from Mom until after he's asleep. We were given a choice of smells for him and he sat in my lap with dad next to him singing and a nurse or someone blowing bubbles while the anesthesia was administered with a mask. He fell asleep in my arms completely unafraid. Later, he was handed back to me immediately when he saw me in the hallway on our respective ways to the recovery room.<br><br>
Of course he's going to still trust you. Just remember he's going to pick up on your emotions. You need to be confident and calm (as much as is possible) and so will he.<br><br>
One last comment. You always have the right to withdraw consent for the surgery, even up to the last minute. If you and/or baby really are flipping out, leave and reschedule. I did cancel my baby's first scheduled surgery because on reflection I decided I just wasn't comfortable with the (highly regarded) surgeon. I went back to my ped and asked for a recommendation of someone who would be more compatible. This made a HUGE difference in my comfort level when the day came.<br><br>
Good luck to you.<br><br>
Lara
 
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