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my first NIP experience

625 Views 12 Replies 12 Participants Last post by  huggerwocky
This weekend I went shopping looking for jeans to fit this postpartum body, since all mine are too snug still. (and i couldnt find ANY) Anyway, I brought the baby and went w/ a friend of mine, and I obviously needed to feed him. We were at the mall.

Somehow up until this point I haven't specifically nursed in public. Most of the malls around here have family lounges, so I used to go there but I didnt know where one would be in this mall and to be honest, I wasn't with my husband (who is the one who is skittish about me NIP) and I was not feeling like hiding. I just wanted to feed my baby.

So I sat down on one of the chairs in the middle of the mall and fed him, heart pounding. NO ONE even looked at me. I was gone long enough to have to nurse him a second time, so I was feeling confident. This time a group of kids, maybe junior high age came over and were hanging around and sitting in the other seats. One of the girls started whispering something to one of the guys, and they were all starting to tell each other, staring at me, and giving me disgusted faces. The guy actually said, LOUD, "oh GROSS!" I immediately felt like crying. I just tried to stay calm and said, "Actually its not gross, it's a normal natural way to feed a baby and its really healthy. I would appreciate it if you wouldnt stare at me." The kids started getting this attitude with me and saying all this stuff, I don't even remember what, just typical teenagers with an attitude stuff. So my friend at this point was losing her temper and got up, went into the closest store, and asked the people there to call security. A few minutes later the two security guards came up to the kids and escorted them out of the mall, and then apologized to me, and were very kind and supportive and told me that they were sorry, and that I was doing the right thing.

So that was MY first NIP experience.
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What an eventful way to start off your NIP experience!! A big high-five to your friend for contacting security. Yes teenagers will be teenagers, but their attitude turned into harrassment. Hopefully they'll have learned something from the situation both about manners and about accepting breastfeeding as a normal thing.

My typical NIP experiences are more like your first one. I don't make a big fuss over it and neither does anyone else. Hopefully it'll be smooth sailing for you from here on in.
to you
to your friend
to the security guards!

You should totally write a note to the mall's management about them.

I hope those teenaged jerks think twice about bugging a nursing mom in the future. They probably acted a lot worse than they really are because they were all together.
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When I was in high school, I was out on a date, and we happened to see a woman breastfeeding her baby. The boy I was with fortunately didn't say anything directly to the mom, but kept making comments to me like, "I can't believe she just whipped it out like that in public," etc. etc. I saw absolutely nothing wrong with the woman feeding her child. Finally, I got fed up with the guy's attitude and told him so. We never went out again, and I considered myself lucky - he had such an all-around rotten attitude about women and sexuality that I often wondered what his parents had done wrong in raising him. But I often think about him when I'm nursing in public, and it's really unfortunate that someone so ignorant even enters my thoughts when I'm doing the best possible thing for my child. No wonder so many women feel reluctant to nurse in public, or to nurse at all for that matter. Sorry you had to endure this. I'm proud of you for being strong and standing up for your baby's rights.
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wow - so dramatic!! good for you and your friend and mall security tho!!!!!!!!!
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I'm so sorry you had to deal with some rude RUDE rude teens!
It's highly likely they have NO experience with such a natural way to nurture... mamas too busy to nurse or some such... but you did SUCH a good job!!!! YEAY for you!!!!

I'm so impressed that you stayed so calm even though you felt so upset. I'm also VERY proud of your friend for getting security to protect you! There is NO reason for you to have to endure that kind of inconsiderate behavior. I'm SUPER glad the kids were kicked out. How AWEsome that they security came back and appologized AND told you you were doing the right thing. YIPEE!!!

Glad you shared... make sure you focus on the confident feelings you described. It sounds like you are a definite lactivist (in the making? or already there? I think you're there mama!).
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thanks everyone! i certainly felt a lot better without that negative nagging rush hanging over my head, that "where am i going to nurse", or "lets hurry out to the car before my poor baby has a nervous breakdown" guys know what I mean? It's very freeing. I wish I had been bold enough before now, but it's been a gradual process. Now if I were really bold I would nurse my dd AND my ds and the same time in public.
I wonder what those teenagers would have thought then.
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NIP was definitely a learned art for me, but we still do it and DD is 28 mo.

Sorry about your experience with the teenagers but remember too that usually with that age there are one or two that are truly the leaders and teh rest might have been actually interested and you might have made a positive affect on them.

I try to gently educate my nieces and nephews (of all different ages) and I can tell that since they have never had any experience seeing ANYONE in our family BF, that they are getting a good impression about how normal it can be. I'm amazed at some of the questions that they ask. The first time that I nursed at a family gathering- DD was 3 weeks (it was Christmas) and I wasn't too confident still yet. I went in to teh back bedroom and relaxed on the bed and watched TV. Most of the kids followed me!
It was kind of cute actually- different ages from about 4- teenagers. I think the figured if I didn't make a big deal out of it, they weren't goign to make a big deal out of it.

I really think that I've influenced some of the girls to be willing to try it in the future and I think that young boys seeing BF helps to de-sexualize the breasts and maybe will help encourage them to support their wives later with "what they're made for!"

One more comment about NIP. A lot of it has to do with confidence. If you seem relaxed and confident that you're not doign anything "indecent", then most people will hardly notice. I especially try to not look at DD when she is latching and so people will usually maintain my eye contact instead of looking at teh baby. I coudln't do that when seh was young, but now she can latch like pro
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Wow...I am glad your friend thought to call security!! What a bunch of brats.
The other day I was nursing the baby in McDonalds & this old guy came over & I was SURE he was gunn'a touch my boob, LOL, but he just stroked the baby's head & said she was beautiful...I would have thought that would bother me - but it didn't, was actually kind'a sweet.
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yay for you and for mall security...

Please don't let a bunch of juveniles deter you from doing what is best and most natural for you and your baby...
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Wow. That should leave a lasting impression with those teenagers!

How are you feeling now?
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