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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hi everyone. I am Kate, Mama to two and expecting a third baby -- a boy. I have lurked here a few times but never have posted.

Anyhow, someone posted a circ question in my DDB group. I posted (below) but realized that it really should go here. Can you recommend the most persuasive articles/info. about not circ'ing? Also, where do I find this video someone referenced? Thanks in advance to anyone and everyone who can help us (unborn DS and me) out!
Kate

Here is what I posted:

I will be bold and chime in that I am dealing with this now too. DH is Jewish and we did circ DS. I let DH decide and did not educate myself at all. The surgery was done by a doctor and lasted about 30 minutes. It was the worst 30 minutes of my life. I sobbed so hard my whole body shook and even the assisting nurse began to cry. I cried off and on for hours afterward. One of my best friends told me that, seeing my reaction, she decided never to circ any sons she may have.

I later realized that my heart and soul were just dying. I am fervently anti-violence and am an anti-hitting ("spanking") activist. So I realized (too late) how out of keeping with my pacifist nature and respect for the human rights of others this was.

Honestly, I do forgive myself. I love DS with all my being and I won't let this mistake consume me. We all make mistakes, we learn from them, we then do better. Anyhow, I have already approached DH and asked him to consider the information I have found. He said he will. So I am planning to round up a series of articles (thanks rossie'sma for the list) and I will introduce him to all the information I have.

Anyway, hope it is ok to post this here. I don't usually frequent the circ forum here but I will be gathering information to share with DH (and I'll check the stickies and posts). Please wish me luck everyone! I feel I must protect my next son.

ETA: And one more thing -- if anyone has any "must reads" please do post them or pm them to me. I plan to compile the most compelling articles I find and give them to DH within the next month or so.
 

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Hi Kate, Welcome to the "Case Against" . . . you'll find everything you need here
to support both you and your husband in keeping future sons intact. I'm so sorry that we didn't have a chance to save your oldest son's foreskin but, as we say all the time here, "when we know better, we do better". Your husband can rest assured that there are many Jewish scholars who have researched, written books and articles and support parents in doing non-cutting ceremonies for boys. We're not allowed to discuss religion on this forum but if you google
"Jewish Circumcision" you'll get to an amazing website with great references.

My favourite link for parents is a film called "The Prepuce" which was made to teach medical students about the anatomy of the intact male. It is beautifully done and really makes people appreciate the beauty of design of the intact male. The links are:

(WMP, streaming) http://www.doctorsopposingcircumcisi...C/prepuce.html

(WMP, download) http://www.doctorsopposingcircumcisi...TSC_256k_D.wmv

Perhaps you could add your story to the sticky above for parents who regret
circumcising. Your voice is important.
Baybee
 

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Kate! So glad you are here. Here's the link to the video:
It's so late... links. I like Separated at Birth, from Men's Health magazine.

What are your husband's reasons for wanting it done? We have ze links to counter any argument...
Good for you for standing up for your baby, mama.
 

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One article you should read (not your dh) is: http://www.udonet.com/circumcision/v...ty_of_men.html

In addition to the religious/cultural issues, your dh will not want to hear that he's missing the most sensitive part of his penis. A lot of mamas find that it's necessary to reassure that they love their dhs the way they are....but that the baby should be able to make his own choice about his own body.
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
Lula's Mom;6387912 What are your husband's reasons for wanting it done? We have ze links to counter any argument... [IMG alt="" said:
http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/wink1.gif[/IMG] Good for you for standing up for your baby, mama.
Thanks so much everyone.

DH is not a monster but to be honest, his reasons are pretty lame. He IS Jewish but we don't practice. He claims that it is "part of his heritage." It's odd because we don't practice any other part of his "heritage" but he wants to do this. And he wants his sons to look like him and each other. Also, I don't think he is ready to admit that we erred in circ'ing Sorin. That's pretty much it. So if there are any other articles that respond specifically to those issues, please bring 'em on!

Thanks again. I knew you guys would be helpful!


ETA: I just learned that discussing the reliigous aspect of circ is not allowed here. I am sorry and did not mean to offend. I have the utmost respect for others' religious convictions. So perhaps we can have any further discusssion without that aspect. Also, a few people have already addressed it (here and in pm's) so I think that issue is covered.
 

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There is also a video you can order about couples making the decision to circ- Jewish couples. Its a very well done documentary. I saw it about 4 years ago. I should order it I guess, but I just haven't. Let me get you the info....
 

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# The 8th Day is the journey of two Jewish couples who lost countless nights of sleep trying to make this decision. Neither is sure they did the right thing.
THE 8TH DAY * TITLE: The 8TH DAY* YEAR: 2001* DIR/PROD: Keren Markuze* COUNTRY: USA* LANGUAGE: English* TIME: unknown* SOURCE: go to AboutThe8thDay.com* Keren Markuze 323-791-5465. $30*

I don't think her site is working anymore though, unfortunately. It used to have pictures and descriptions of each couple there. I'd try phoning her if you'd like a copy. (I think she is on West Coast time.) I found it a very good film.
 

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I just wanted to offeryou
s and support! I hope your dh comes around. If he's so concerned about his heritage, maybe if you showed him that circ today isn't at all what used to be done, he could see the insanity of it all. Someone here could give you the link on how circumcision has changed from removing just the tip of the foreskin, to removing the whole thing. (Not that I think the former should be done, just that men would have retained most of the functionality of the foreskin, and not have had the foreskin and glans ripped apart.) Remember, he's going to have to confront what happened to him and to your son, so it could be really emotional for him, and hard to admit that there's a problem. Make sure to let him know you love him just how he is, but you can't let your little boy be needlessly hurt. I hope that it all works out for you! This board is awesome and you can learn SO much here!
 

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The men on the restoring list are fond of saying that the only time it might
be right to do a circumcision is 8 days after death.
Baybee
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by baybee View Post
Your husband can rest assured that there are many Jewish scholars who have researched, written books and articles and support parents in doing non-cutting ceremonies for boys.
Can you please pm me or post the names of the scholars? I've never heard of them.
 

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PLM, first of all.....


I have found the stickies at the top of this forum incredibly helpful and informative and the members here are quite knowledgable.

I just wanted to say welcome and that I hope you stick around!
 

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I just saw this... hugs...

Would your dh be willing to do an alternate ceremony... bris shalom?

Jessica
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by SaraFR View Post
Can you please pm me or post the names of the scholars? I've never heard of them.
I think Ronald Goldman is a scholar.
 

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People are often disqualified from consideration as a scholar if their conclusions differ from one's own. Just something I've noticed.
 

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The scholar who pops into my mind right away
is Leonard Glick who wrote "Marked in the Flesh". Brilliant man. Let me get a list for you from my experts so that I'm sure to get the names right. Baybee
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by Nathan1097 View Post
There is also a video you can order about couples making the decision to circ- Jewish couples. Its a very well done documentary. I saw it about 4 years ago. I should order it I guess, but I just haven't. Let me get you the info....
The British documentary "It's A Boy!" deals w/ the death of a couple's son after his bris. She's Jewish and wants it (and got it), and the man isn't. Complications occurred and the poor boy died. She refused to be a part of the documentary, and he was totally broken up about their son's death.

Also, another (British) Jewish mom talks about leaving her son intact, despite her mom's guilt trip (saying: "If you loved me, you'd have him circumcised.", to which she responded: "I love my son and that's why I couldn't put him through that."... to paraphrase).
 
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