It's possible that he might be one of those (I hear they exist) who cries for a few seconds and then falls back asleep, so that going back would wake him up more. I've noticed that a few of my friends who claim they do CIO, have babies who are like that.
My good friends are doing CIO now
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I'm so sad.
We were at their house for a birthday party, the music was pretty loud after their son had gone to bed and one friend asked, "Are you even going to be able to hear him on your monitor?"
"No, but it doesn't matter anyways b/c I'm not responding to him cry anymore."
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They have different parenting ideals and it's just something we can't talk about, but this really takes the cake. Your 7 month old son gets woken up by loud music, cries out for reassurance, and you don't go let him know everything is ok?! Why even have the monitor on?!
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I just hugged my little girl closer in the wrap I was wearing, knowing that even with loud music she knew she was safe, snug, and secure sleeping on Mommy.
We were at their house for a birthday party, the music was pretty loud after their son had gone to bed and one friend asked, "Are you even going to be able to hear him on your monitor?"
"No, but it doesn't matter anyways b/c I'm not responding to him cry anymore."
They have different parenting ideals and it's just something we can't talk about, but this really takes the cake. Your 7 month old son gets woken up by loud music, cries out for reassurance, and you don't go let him know everything is ok?! Why even have the monitor on?!
I just hugged my little girl closer in the wrap I was wearing, knowing that even with loud music she knew she was safe, snug, and secure sleeping on Mommy.
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moved to lwab
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I have a friend whose husband asked that exact question. "Why do they even have a monitor?" (And he was actually curious, not snarky. Seems like a waste of money.)
Originally Posted by Amber Lion I'm so sad. We were at their house for a birthday party, the music was pretty loud after their son had gone to bed and one friend asked, "Are you even going to be able to hear him on your monitor?" "No, but it doesn't matter anyways b/c I'm not responding to him cry anymore."
They have different parenting ideals and it's just something we can't talk about, but this really takes the cake. Your 7 month old son gets woken up by loud music, cries out for reassurance, and you don't go let him know everything is ok?! Why even have the monitor on?!
I just hugged my little girl closer in the wrap I was wearing, knowing that even with loud music she knew she was safe, snug, and secure sleeping on Mommy. |
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I agree with that too. They even may be whimpering in their sleep and not be fully awake, and like you said, will settle.
Originally Posted by kriket there is quite a difference between letting a bawling baby cry until they learn that crying does nothing, and letting a whimpering baby sit for a few minuets and fall back asleep. IMO. |
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Honestly, to me, what they're doing is borderline neglect. I just can't imagine people doing this to their babies. What a shame.
Originally Posted by kriket there is quite a difference between letting a bawling baby cry until they learn that crying does nothing, and letting a whimpering baby sit for a few minuets and fall back asleep. IMO. |
Honestly, to me, what they're doing is borderline neglect. I just can't imagine people doing this to their babies. What a shame.
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I can't speak to the rest of it, but the music would actually comfort my DD. One way to settle her is to put music on fairly loudly. Doesn't even have to be calm music. She loves music though.
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They do exist. My friend's 10 month old DD is like this. And she actually goes to sleep easier and better when they do their bedtime routine (Mom changes and swaddles her and her daddy sings to her. It's really sweet.) , put her down and leave her be. She whimpers for maybe 2 min, then she's out. It's amazing.
Originally Posted by YesandNo That's not CIO. That's just awful. Loud music, people in the house, conversation, these can all be scary. Poor baby. |
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Originally Posted by lolar2 It's possible that he might be one of those (I hear they exist) who cries for a few seconds and then falls back asleep, so that going back would wake him up more. I've noticed that a few of my friends who claim they do CIO, have babies who are like that. |
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Same here - just lately it seems that if he whimpers a tiny bit, it will go on for a minute or two and then he's back to sleep. If it goes on longer than that or goes up in pitch, then I'm in there though.
Hopefully that's what's happening with your friends - although it doesn't sound like it, IMO. Poor baby.
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Originally Posted by AprilM We don't normally do CIO either but lately, I have noticed that in the middle of the night, if ds starts to cry or whimper, if I just let him go, he usually transitions back into sleep. If I go to him, sometimes I just wake him up fully and then getting him back to sleep is a real battle. LOL But I would never be able to let him cry it out if I couldn't be watching/hearing him and monitoring him closely, especially with loud music on! I do believe however (in my ds's case anyway) sometimes CIO is our only option, as sometimes he is inconsoleable even if we pick him up and attempt to soothe him. |
Hopefully that's what's happening with your friends - although it doesn't sound like it, IMO. Poor baby.
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I just don't get this. What if he's hungry, cold, hot, teething, feverish, tummy ache, dirty diaper, reflux, spit up??? Would they let him sleep with poop on his butt all night? Even if you do CIO, I don't think you are supposed to neglect your child. You are still supposed to check to see if everything is alright, or do I not understand the CIO method? Just to sit up there and announce that you only parent from 8am-8pm is just sickening to me. I will be so glad with this style of parenting goes out of style for good.
Originally Posted by Amber Lion I'm so sad. "No, but it doesn't matter anyways b/c I'm not responding to him cry anymore."
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^ They announced they're doing CIO now (their words), so for 6 hours every night they won't respond to him. Period. I don't know why the arbitrary 6 hrs, but then I don't understand the whole CIO to begin with. I just kept my mouth shut because it wouldn't do any good if I said anything.
And then, they complain about how much attention he demands when he's awake. Huh, I wonder if it's because he's not getting his needs met at night so he's desperate for your attention when he can get it?!
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And then, they complain about how much attention he demands when he's awake. Huh, I wonder if it's because he's not getting his needs met at night so he's desperate for your attention when he can get it?!
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My DS wants attention 24/7, even though we have never done CIO...
Originally Posted by Amber Lion And then, they complain about how much attention he demands when he's awake. Huh, I wonder if it's because he's not getting his needs met at night so he's desperate for your attention when he can get it?!
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Why do people even have children if they don't want togive them attention????
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Originally Posted by Amber Lion ^ They announced they're doing CIO now (their words), so for 6 hours every night they won't respond to him. Period. I don't know why the arbitrary 6 hrs, but then I don't understand the whole CIO to begin with. I just kept my mouth shut because it wouldn't do any good if I said anything. And then, they complain about how much attention he demands when he's awake. Huh, I wonder if it's because he's not getting his needs met at night so he's desperate for your attention when he can get it?!
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You are right. I am often frustrated that CIO is portrayed as neglect here. But yeah, not responding at all is complete neglect.
Originally Posted by Kappa I just don't get this. What if he's hungry, cold, hot, teething, feverish, tummy ache, dirty diaper, reflux, spit up??? Would they let him sleep with poop on his butt all night? Even if you do CIO, I don't think you are supposed to neglect your child. You are still supposed to check to see if everything is alright, or do I not understand the CIO method? Just to sit up there and announce that you only parent from 8am-8pm is just sickening to me. I will be so glad with this style of parenting goes out of style for good. |
Ugh.
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It's so hard to be friends with people who cross lines that you draw so clearly in your own life. I also am personally very much against CIO, and I have a hard time connecting with friends who do it, because it just feels like we have this huge thing between us, like if we don't agree about that, are we really even on the same page enough to be friends?
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