[~Charlie's~Angel~]

<p>I think Im just looking for support and commiseration here.  My stomach is in knots.  I eat something and I have to work at not throwing it back up.  I want to burst into tears at the drop of a hat. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>We had been doing so well through all this economy crap.  He had to stop working in his trade, and start working for a friend doing something he can do, but its not his PROFESSION.  Still though, we did alright just sqeaking by last winter.  We didnt incure any new debt.  Just had the car and the house.  The kids were well fed and well clothed.  Then a rate job came, and he made awsome money.  We built up a little cushion over the summer.  He decided to take a couple long weekend trips out of town.  We bought my friends car for super cheap, because weve never had TWO cars before, like EVER.  Hes always had some sort of work vehicle, but never TWO cars we OWN.  So that was nice.  We paid cash for it. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Then yesterday, pretty much out of the blue, he is told hes laid off until further notice.  FAINTS  No notice, just cut throat.  For some reason, it feels different this time.  He has a couple things maybe lined up, but everything is very up in the air right now.  Which weve been there before, but it just seems so off this time.  I dunno.  We were talking last night, and both agreed, we LOVE our life.  We dont want more.  Have never worked for MORE per say.   A trip here or there, but we plan to die in our house.  I think about a bigger car someday when the boys get bigger or if we have another baby, but really, those are big IFS.  And i plan to drive this car into the ground.  I could live a very long and happy life with things EXACTLY the way they are.  We just want to maintain what little we have.  My house is a big one for me.  We worked our butts off on this house.  We bought it for 77 grand and flipped the shiz out of it.  Its a stunner now.  We could  make oooodles of cash on it if we sold tomorrow, but I dont want to sell.  I dont want to loose it!  Its my world.  I dont go on vacations.  I dont travel.  I go to work, I come home with my kids, and I enjoy every single moment we spend in that house! </p>
<p> </p>
<p>I guess this is just a whine thread.  I needed to put this out into cyberspace, so its off my chest.  My husband feels like such a failure.  He actually started to cry last night when he talked about needing to keep the kids fed.  My heart Broke.  Just sunk right out of my chest and into my feet.  And the trully sad part is, we are not the first, and certainly not the last.  I have been SOOOOO thankful how weve been able to keep everything weve had since this country went down the toilet. I would see news bits on the foreclosure percentage, pictures of rows of abadnonded and forclosed houses, and just got down on my kness and SANG that we still had our home.  And I am also so thankful for a husband who works his ARSE off to keep us going.  I guess in a sense, this slider has helped us to come closer together.  we need to lean on eachother more then ever right now.  I actually feel closer to him through all this. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>So if youve made it this far, Thank you!  Thank you for listening, for letting me gravel.  And if ever any of YOU need a shoulder to whine on, all you have to do is ask. </p>

 

[mamalisa]

<p>Been there and it sucks. Things will turn around and it will be ok.  Just start cutting the things you can and keep positive.</p>

 

[marinak1977]

<p><img alt="hug.gif" class="bbcode_smiley" src="http://files.mothering.com//images/smilies/hug.gif"></p>
<p>I hope something else will come up for your DH soon, hang in there.</p>
<p><img alt="hug.gif" class="bbcode_smiley" src="http://files.mothering.com//images/smilies/hug.gif"></p>

 

[laohaire]

<p>You guys didn't fail at all. The economic pressures going on are not at all your fault, and they have been set in motion for a long time and the inherent problems left unaddressed.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>In fact it sounds like you guys did a very good job - living within your means, paying cash, not feeling entitled.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Take the unemployment, that's what it's there for.</p>

 

[MeepyCat]

<p>I agree that it sounds like you guys did everything right, and just got hit by the bad economy.  Out of left field.  Not your fault.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Unemployment is part of an insurance policy that the government makes you pay into while you're working.  Your DH earned those benefits, and should feel no shame in taking advantage of them.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I think you guys are in pretty good shape to weather this.  It sounds like you have a small savings cushion and minimal debt.  You each have a reliable vehicle, and they're both paid for.  By all means, sit down with your budget and see how things look, but try not to worry too much.</p>

 

[HappyMommy2]

<p>Get the unemployment.  Your DH can also get side jobs, and legally make something like $200/week even while on unemployment. (check out gigs on craigslist for one-time jobs.  It sounds like he is super handy around the house.)</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He should set up a Linked In account now.  (start with a very basic profile, beef it up later as time allows)  And start connecting with people asap.  Networking is basically the only way to get good jobs in this economy!!</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Congrats on keeping out of debt.  You can weather this storm!!</p>

 

[justKate]

<p>OP, unemployment is NOT something to be ashamed over.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Just to clarify (unemployment benefits is my specialty), while you don't <em>pay in</em> for unemployment benefits the way you do social security, it IS there for you as a part of your compensation from your last employer(s).  Generally, employers pay a tax to the state based on several factors, including number of employees, how many have successfully filed for UI benefits, etc. The revenue from those taxes go into a fund, and unemployment benefits are paid out of that.  If your husband was laid off, he is absolutely entitled to receive unemployment.  Employers know that their tax account is affected when they lay people off, and expect it.  So it would be foolish not to accept those benefits.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Second, <em>most</em>, if not all, states will allow you to file for unemployment as a partially unemployed individual.  The amount you recieve in unemployment benefits will be decreased (not necessarily proportionately) by any money earned while partially unemployed.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Finally, be<em> very careful</em> about accepting short-term work from a temporary help firm or staff leasing agency.  Most will have strict rules about reporting back to them and/or making yourself available for reassignment when a temporary assignment ends.  A failure to read the fine print after signing up with one of these agencies could jeopardize your unemployment benefits.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>If you all have any questions or problems, I would be happy to try to answer any questions you have.  <em>Friendly</em>, not legal, advice of course!  <img alt="winky.gif" class="bbcode_smiley" src="http://files.mothering.com//images/smilies/winky.gif">  PM me any time.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>You're going to get through this, mama.  It will get better, and you will be stronger than ever.  <img alt="hug2.gif" class="bbcode_smiley" src="http://files.mothering.com//images/smilies/hug2.gif"></p>

 

[applecider]

<p>I hear ya Charlie'sAngel.  This is the SAME thing that happened to DP in April.  I know it TOTALLY sucks when you're there.  I can say that now, six months later, we came through it and he now has an even better job than he had before.  And frankly, I enjoyed our time that he had "unemployed".  It did help to remind myself that even if we were to lose the house, we would still have each other.  And we have put a ton of work into our house too.  I will say that him being laid off was really tough on our relationship (we're still working on it) and highly stressful.  So I guess that's important to be aware of.  I didn't realize until later how stressed out I was through all of it, just the uncertainty of when a job would come.  I think you almost have to go through a grief cycle in a time like this.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><img alt="hug.gif" src="http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/hug.gif"> and <img alt="Peace.gif" src="http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/Peace.gif"> for a good job soon.</p>
<p> </p>

 

[SubliminalDarkness]

<p>Oh, OP, I feel for you. We've had two layoffs now, one in December of 07(a day before DS2's first birthday) and then again in January of 09. It just SUCKS. My DH is also now working in a field that is not of his choosing, but it's something he's qualified to do and something there's a market for. If, for some reason, this job went away.... Oh boy, I don't know what we would do!</p>
<p> </p>
<p>There is absolutely nothing wrong with filing for unemployment. It's disheartening to be in a position to need to do so, but it's there to help you for exactly the things you need it for. </p>

 

[nola79]

<p>I'm sorry to hear ya'll are going through this. I'm glad you're leaning on each other for support. You WILL get through this. <span><img alt="hug.gif" src="http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="width:22px;height:15px;"></span></p>

 

[~Charlie's~Angel~]

<p>Hey ya'll.  Thanks so much for your love and support.  We have filed.  Did it last monday, hes been "networking" looking for work, and in the meantime, doing a kick ass job around the house.  lol  He cleaned the gutters, cleaned up the back patio, did the winter storage with everything, and even did the laundry and cooked a few meals.  Hes been helping his dad try to get that business to take off again, and has been getting some cash job offers.  So we are dealing.  We just got threw matts bday, and thankfully I had already bought his gifts.  Which were ALL hits, thank you very much.  So now we just have to get threw christmas (which we have never gone overboard anyway) and by the time its all over, we should be good.</p>

 

[~Charlie's~Angel~]

<p>OK, really?!?!?!  The muffler of his car just fell off.  YOUVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!</p>

 

[Selesai]

<p>Well, I replaced the exhaust on my car after it rusted out, but the reality is that I could have put it off for a while.  It's louder than normal, and you would fail emissions testing.  other than that, not horrible.</p>
<p>(My humble two cents)</p>

 

[~Charlie's~Angel~]

<p>This was us putting it off for a while.  lol  It finally just all fell right off.  And he called around yesterday and priced it out.  The parts alone are 650 thanks to the CA emmissions law.  Apparently the model of car was built BEFORE the federal emmissions law was passed by about 6 months.  So we need the higher emmissions, more expensive parts for this particular model.  Thankfully, the guy who is fixing it owes my husband and his father a favor, so we should only have to pay for the parts.  Otherwise it was going to be about 1500!!!!</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ugh, stuff like this never happens when you HAVE the money, just when you DONT.  right?</p>

 

[HappyMommy2]

<p>Yup, that is right.  DH and I are both laid off, and the dishwasher started leaking everywhere, the hot water tank started leaking everywhere, and the bathroom developed a roof leak.  Fun times.</p>

 

[momo7]

<p>Murphy's Law.  Take a breath...everything is ok...and it could ALWAYS be worse.  Think of a worse case scenario and be thankful it isn't that. </p>

 

[Bisou]

<p>Miss Angel:</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I just saw this thread and I am so sorry that you guys are having a rough time.  You've been such a good friend and support to me!<br>
 </p>
<p>I hear stories daily on NPR about families without work and scraping by barely on unemployment, and it seems so terribly unfair.  It doesn't seem right that someone who has always worked hard is suffering and without much remedy.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I just saw your last few posts and it looks like things are ok for now???</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I just had to pay $1600 for car repairs, so I am feeling you on that aspect.  Yay Christmas!  "Guess what son----for Christmas, you have a neeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwww cylinder!  And a bushing something or ruther that was absolutely essential!" </p>

 

[Smokering]

<p>Arrgh, that sucks. Sounds like you're both staying positive about it, though - well, hard not to when he's doing housework for you, right? </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Your sig says you WOH. Any chance you could pick up extra hours or skip daycare now your DH is around to watch the kids? Either of those might cut costs, although it's hard to tell if it's worth it against hurting your DH's freedom to take on odd jobs. What about just using the one car again for now, so you don't have to replace the muffler? You're used to just having one, and it might (arguably!) be easier to do with DH at home...?</p>

 

[~Charlie's~Angel~]

<p>HOwdy ladies.  I got real lax getting on MDC over the holiday weekend.  <span><img alt="shy.gif" src="http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/shy.gif" style="width:15px;height:15px;"></span> WE have considered changing the boys daycare hours to partime or pulling the, all together, but totaly anchoring my husband to the house would be non constructive for us.  And then he would be stuck in terms of if he got a call from someone to come do an odd job or something.  You cant fly by the seat of your pants with daycare, as im sure lots of you already know.  you have to be fulltime, partime, or nothing, and if you are partime, you have to have a set schedule, and you cant flip flop back and forth.  And that also wouldnt be fair to the boys.  They woudlnt know which way was up or down, you know?</p>
<p> </p>
<p>As for the second car, we have always had TWO vehicles, its just that his was always some sort of work vehicle, like a utility van.  The one hes been using for the last year belongs to the guy he was working for.  Its still sitting in the driveway, ready to fall apart.  Hes riding along with his father or brother right now to the odd jobs hes getting, so thats helping.  But we will end up needing another vehicle.  Were already pot-committed with this car, you know? </p>
<p> </p>
<p>I am already working 40 hours a week, and away from my kids 10 hours a day.  I hate it as it is, and there really isnt room anywhere else for me to pick up more time.  What I am hoping is that, Since i am already lined up to take an accounting class in January, (which my boss was bugging me for YEARS to do) and then my anniversary date is in February, that it will encourage my raise to be above average, IFYKWIM? </p>
<p> </p>
<p>I otherwise really appreciate all the advice and suggestions.  And I dont want anyone to think im fluffing anything off, because I trully am not.  I am listening to all of you with very open mind.  Thank you for your support.  As always, the ladies at MDC Kick ARSE!! </p>