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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I've been back to work for almost a month now, but I'm working less than 20 hours a week right now, so I'm usually not out of the house for more than 5 hours a day. I've been pumping and leaving milk for DH to give Ela while I'm at work, though she usually doesn't take much and kind of saves it up for when I get home and then we nurse a lot.<br><br>
The other day I got home and Ela was asleep, but sucking on her thumb hungrily. I had to finish doing something (I forget what) and then I planned to hop in bed next to her and nurse. But DH beat me to it--when I came back into the room I saw that he had given her a bottle of my milk, but it was propped with a pillow. I was totally shocked because it never even crossed my mind that he would bottle-prop. He's a very attentive, hands-on father who is always very aware of Ela and concerned with keeping her safe and healthy.<br><br>
I didn't say anything at the time because I was a bit taken by surprise. I just took the bottle out of her mouth and nursed her instead. As far as I know, DH doesn't prop and leave. He's always right next to her, on the laptop or something, so it's not like he's leaving the room. But still, I think there is a choking hazard even if he is right there.<br><br>
From day one I've been very careful about not criticizing his parenting. We're both first-timers and I'm no expert in any of this. I do intend to talk to him about it today when he gets home from work, and I'm sure that he won't have any problem giving up the propping habit, but I wanted to see what you ladies have to say about it. Is there a compelling reason not to prop, besides the obvious choking hazard? I want to come at him logically rather than reacting emotionally, because I don't want him to feel as if I think he's a lazy or bad parent. I really think he just didn't put much thought into propping the bottle.
 

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before i had children i had seen alot of babies that have been proped and see lots of choking.<br>
the only way i can think for you to come to him is this way...i really think for a propper feeding a baby needs to be held. it is part of the closeness and comfort they need. i think that i baby will feed better if held. this included the angle, reducing air getting sucked, and controllng the flow alot of babies will suck hard and not stop when they get alot of milk coming out it a bad situation can happen fast if you are not holding and watching a baby drink.
 

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Babies also benefit hugely from the interaction they get while feeding. It's a chance for the baby to bond and build a relationship. Not only is bottle propping a choking hazard, it takes away from bonding which is the #1 thing for a baby to be doing and learning in the first months.
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
So I talked to him about it and he said that he's always very attentive and aware when she has the bottle propped like that, and that he doesn't do it all the time. He also mentioned that sometimes when he holds her to feed her she gets distracted easily or turns it into a game laughing and playing with the nipple. He also said that the only issue he can see with propping is that it's harder to run interference on the thumb (she loves to do this when nursing too-she'll switch back and forth from nipple to thumb, or try to shove both in her mouth at once, or the thumb will slowly make its way into her mouth, displacing the nipple and making her mad because no milk is coming out.)<br><br>
The thing is, she takes so few bottles that I kind of feel like maybe it's not a big deal? I'm out of the house 5 hours at a stretch and she takes maybe two bottles during that time. She and DH are very well bonded. He's a great daddy and spends lots of time with her. Also, she has advanced head and neck control for her age. She's already rolling over and pushing up on all fours and such, so I kind of feel like she wouldn't just sit there and <i>drown</i> or whatever if the flow of milk was too much for her.<br><br>
I dunno, I'm just not sure if I should make a big deal out of this.
 

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What I came to realize with DP was that, if he wanted to lose out on that connection, that was really his loss (and DS of course!). I knew he was staying in the room, nearby, so there wasn't an issue with choking. But it was sad that he would be accepting of losing that bonding time. DS is now 8 months and I still hold him when he takes a bottle. He can grab it and hold it and do all he needs to by himself. But... how sad is that :-(<br><br>
I wouldn't make a big deal out of it.
 
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