[4 in 2005]

I just wanted to introduce myself. I have not fully made the plunge to opt to go UC. I have tried to find a midwife to do a homebirth but do to the legal status of homebirth midwives in my state that has proved challanging. I can find some but they are 2 hours away. My last 2 labors were only 2 hours long start to finish (sorta, long story...)

I am not happy with the CNMW I have been seeing. I was planning a hospital birth, because well to be brutally honest, after 2 losses, in my heart I wrongly believed that my baby was not going to be with me for long. I prepared myself emotionally for another missed miscarriage, and another D&C. I think honestly I was already grieving.

However when I had my U/S, my prospective changed completly. Then not only did it feel "real" that this baby is really going to make it, I am really going to have her, it also was like, I am not risking the baby that to me is more a miracle baby then normal. (I see all babies as a miracle but this one esp.) I am not going have her delivered by a midwife that cuts me off, doesn't listen to me, and her OB back-up says that I have to be induced at 37 weeks for no other reason then my son was 8lbs 12 ozs.

So that sealed my mind I wanted a homebirth. I figured DH would not go for a UC. However as we were talking he said "why should we pay a midwife, when we don't think she will make it in time for the delivery. Do we really need someone?" He said what do you need for a homebirth. I told him, that you need someone to catch the baby and that even the mom can do that. (I don't think I could unless I had to.) He then said "well I hate to sound cheap, but what do we need to pay a midwife for then." I told him the only reasons I could think of for a midwife, were I thought he would want one for his piece of mind, and I am not sure what to do if I tear to the point I need stiches. I was cut with DS, I tore to the point they put in several stiches with DD#1, and with DD#2, I tore to the point that the OB was not sure if she should stitch and finnally opted to put in 2. So each time the tearing was less but I must admit that is the one of two things that crosses my mind that I am not sure about.

The other one might seem silly, and I keep trying to tell myself it is silly. I know that a baby can be born with BOW intact. However with DS my labor stalled at 9.5 cm till my BOW was broken by AROM. Well sorta stalled. I went from 5-9.5 cm in 1 hour and spent an hour at 9.5. So I wanted to wait another hour before the broke my water. However being almost 2 am the OB wanted to hurry up and get home. At 2 am after only 4 hours of labor my son was born.

With my daughters once I hit 4cms dialated my OB and I both got nervous. I did not feel emotionally prepared to have a unplanned unassisted homebirth. So my labors with them were induced with them by AROM. Then they were both born in 2 or 2 1/2 hours with 15-30 mins of "labor."

So in three labors my water has NEVER broken on it's own. I have no problem with having my baby born in the bag of water. However I wonder what happens if I stall at 9.5? With my DS my labor was very intense before my OB broke my water. I felt that I could handle it because I figured if she let me go another hour, then there would be an end in sight. A light at the end of the tunnel so to speak. So I wonder what will happen with out my water being broken for me. Does that make sense?

 

[shell024]

Welcome and congratulations! Sorry about your previous losses, that can be so hard

This is a wonderful place, glad you have joined us

 

[Kidzaplenty]

With my second, my BOW did not break until litterally 15 seconds before she was born. It buldged out several contractions, then it buldged, broke and out popped baby!

Babies can be born with the intact BOW (if that happens, you just break the bag), but mostly they are not. The baby will come out. If you can feel the BOW and you are right at the end, even you or your DH could break it with your hands, but I would not really even consider that. As for stalling, I think if you are at home, in a comfortable place you will have a much less chance of stalling.

Welcome to the UC board, even if you are not fully into UC yet.

 

[arlecchina]

it doesnt have to break at all

if the baby is born that way (called "in the caul") it's considered very good luck

 

[lanielayne]

If you are UCing you will not know you are 9.5 most likely unless you are monitoring it yourself. In my UC my water broke just as she started coming down the birth canal. It exploded all over the room!

 

[4 in 2005]

If you are UCing you will not know you are 9.5 most likely unless you are monitoring it yourself. In my UC my water broke just as she started coming down the birth canal. It exploded all over the room!

OHH I know that I am just wondering if I will be there for a bit, and wonder why things aren't progressing, and that be the reason. Does that make sense.

Like I said in my first post, I know it is silly but that is the one thing that keeps coming up in my mind, what will happen if my water never breaks?

I told DH though that if those are my 2 biggest concerns, that is not bad. I think it is normal to be worried to a degree about labor/childbirth. If one of my 2 biggest fears is that I will labor longer, then I would have in a hospital, how bad is that.

The other one I am still trying to figure out how to address, I figure that is a more valid concern. How will I know if I need stiches. I know there is a chance I won't tear at all. My 3 prior labors, I delivered in the semi-reclined postion. Not ideal for preventing tears. So I figure given the option to pick a postion that feels best for me, will lessen my risk of tearing. I also just wonder how will I know if I need to get stiches and I hate the idea of after a peaceful homebirth having to get in the car and go somewhere to get that tended. Does that make sense.

 

[lanielayne]

I had a 2nd degree tear with Maren and believe me - I knew it was bigger than usual. It hurt! Dh took a look at the diagrams in Spiritual Midwifery to help me get an idea how bad it was. I did not look! I also didn't do anything but sit with my legs together and rinse it until it felt better. I haven't had any issues. I plan to use an herbal pp rinse and bath this time to help promote healing if I need it.

 

[4 in 2005]

Lanie--

Thanks! That had been on concern, I thought was valid but I could not figure out how to address. I am trying to tell myself (because I feel that mind set goes a long way in a successful birth) that I shouldn't worry about this. That with each delivery the tear (or cut) has been less, and with me not being confined to a bad position, I will do better. I was just wondering what to do "just in case."

 

[cottonwood]

I'm sorry this has to be brief.

Quote:

Originally Posted by 4 in 2005 I told him, that you need someone to catch the baby and that even the mom can do that. (I don't think I could unless I had to.)

If you're in a semi-squat (bottom propped on pillows, for instance) or kneeling, and on a soft surface, you don't even have to.

Quote:

I am not sure what to do if I tear to the point I need stiches. I was cut with DS, I tore to the point they put in several stiches with DD#1, and with DD#2, I tore to the point that the OB was not sure if she should stitch and finnally opted to put in 2. So each time the tearing was less but I must admit that is the one of two things that crosses my mind that I am not sure about.

How and when and why were you pushing? Tearing is generally nonexistant or superficial with spontaneous/instinctive pushing stages.

Quote:

However I wonder what happens if I stall at 9.5?

Do you mean that your contractions stopped? It is very common around transition or after to have a "rest and be thankful stage". It's normal for contractions to temporarily stop at this point for up to an hour or more.

 

[4 in 2005]

If you're in a semi-squat (bottom propped on pillows, for instance) or kneeling, and on a soft surface, you don't even have to.

Yeah that is what I told my husband I would have to do if I were home alone. I said squat on the bed, and let the bed catch.

How and when and why were you pushing? Tearing is generally nonexistant or superficial with spontaneous/instinctive pushing stages.

How-- Well with the exception of #3 I was pushing when I felt the urge and I felt I HAD To. They tried to coach me but I ignored them. My body was yelling much louder then the OB and the nurse. So that is what I listened to. When I am pushing, I could hear what was said but it did not register. Pushing is VERY intense for me.) How (I think you mean what position.) I was in the semi recline. With #1 because the OB would not let me in any other position and I was to ignorant to question. With #2 and #3, they were HOPING it would slow things down, still didn't help, my kids were all born in about three pushes.

With #1-- I was cut.

With #2 the tearing was more then superficial despite the instinctive pushing. DD's head came out no problem. When her shoulder came out she had her hand by her shoulder and pulled. The OB tried to stop her but she was coming so fast she couldn't.

With #3 I felt a burning pain when I was being yelled out not to push. I should have ignored them, but the nurse was so frantic about the fact the OB was not there she had me terrified. So my OB thinks that is why I tore that time.

The only reason I am even concerned is because that means I have three labors worth of scar tissue and I have heard that scar tissue does not expand as well as the unscared tissue.

Do you mean that your contractions stopped? It is very common around transition or after to have a "rest and be thankful stage". It's normal for contractions to temporarily stop at this point for up to an hour or more.

No. They were actually getting stronger but vag checks verified that there was no change. In fact before this point I kept expecting to get sent home because I was asleep more then I was awake. Then the contractions got intense and I thought, well maybe not. After only a few intense contractions they checked me told me I was 9.5 they were calling the OB. She got there almost an hour later and I was still at the same point. Maybe they got worse because I knew it was close, and got worried I don't know.

I never had a rest and be thankful stage with any of my labors. However until transition things go so smooth and easy, I guess I don't really need one as much as other women. With my son I had just over one hour of contractions that were "intense". My biggest fear with him was going to the hospital to soon. However my husband insisted I go in because I was having contractions every 2-5 mins. They were so mild that I rested once I got to the hospital. I did not feel any contractions with either of my daughter till transition hit and they were not that intense at all. I could tell I was in transition more from my emotional/physcial state then from my contractions. My hand started shaking and I kept thinking things, like I can't do this, and with my youngest, I was planning to leave and have this baby another day. That day was not convient, I needed to go tend my son then maybe I could come back. (He was supposed to go to school. The sitter calls at noon and asked what time he was supposed to be at school, and he was supposed to be there at 12:05. )

Thanks for replying I read you are busy.

 

[Skim]

Wow, welcome!

And all that trial during labor.... so sorry you had to go through so much.

Don't have any good advice about scar tissue except, trust your body and do what you need to do to feel confident, UC or not.

 

[augustacherri]

My mom had a UC with me (#3) and had a similar circumstance. She just stalled out at about 9.5 with an intact BOW. She said she felt the urge to break the BOW herself, but that my dad wouldn't let her. She didn't feel a physical urge to push with contractions, but she DID feel a mental urge to push, so basically she just started pushing when she had contractions (not like hospital coached pushing---gently) and the BOW ruptured on its own and a few minutes later I was born. She was in a semi-reclining position.

I am not advocating you pushing without the urge, I'm just relaying to you what my mom did. She thinks that it would have been a much longer labor with a lot more waiting if she hadn't started giving those first pushes to "coax" me out. And though her urge to push didn't have a physiological basis the same way her first two had the overwhelming urge to push, she still felt instinctively that that was the best thing to do.

 

[4 in 2005]

augustacherri-- Thanks, that helps. I have thought about this all night. I kept thinking, why am I worried about something so silly. I know it is is silly.

I thought worst case scenario, so my labor is longer then it would be in a hospital, BIG DEAL, so why is that bothering me.

Then it hit me, DH is expecting this labor to be just like my other 3. It won't be/can't be. There will be no AROM, so that is going to be a factor. This is my chance to see what my labors naturally will be like. Well if he is expecting me to do this, then this, then this, he might freak out that something is going wrong and cause me worry and stress which will NOT help matters.

So plan to deal with this. Make sure that DH understands that this labor may NOT go according to the pattern of DS and DDs. I still think it will be a short/easy labor because even before my AROM with my son that was how his was going. I just think it would have been longer with out the AROM.

So we shall see what happens when the time comes but at least now I know why it was bugging me. That also means I know how to address it and deal with it.

 

[MamaTaraX]

Gotta be brief: You can either birth in water or have lots of nice oils to help with the scarred skin stretching. If you are really worried about a tear, you could call a local midwife to come look at it. Unless you don't plan to do anyting about tears, in which case, just take good care of your perineum post-partum and you'll be all set

Namaste, Tara

 

[lanielayne]

Quote:

Originally Posted by 4 in 2005 That day was not convient, I needed to go tend my son then maybe I could come back.

Maybe this is why you got stuck? You were telling yourself you were not ready to have the baby and that you had other obligations. Could have been yoru mental state that hindered your pushing stage.

 

[4 in 2005]

Maybe this is why you got stuck? You were telling yourself you were not ready to have the baby and that you had other obligations. Could have been yoru mental state that hindered your pushing stage.

No that wasn't the labor I got stuck. I stayed (not even sure stuck is the right word, stalled is the term the OB used and still I have trouble calling any 4 hour labor stalled at any point) at 9.5 for an hour with my son. This labor was with my youngest daughter. I went from 4 cm to holding her in 30 mins. The contractions were not intense and the only way I knew I was in transition was my thought proccess. It was so weird, as soon as I thought, I need to go home, this is not a good time etc, I then thought, I am in transition. It was "I am thinking crazy, I can't just up and leave, I must be in transition."

 

[barefoot mama]

It could be that your contractions continue even though you are so dilated because baby is moving into whatever position it needs to be in for birth. Rotating around or something like that. I think this is what happened with my 1st UC (4th birth). I had a couple hours of very intense contractions after I was almost fully dilated (I could feel a small ridge and nothing else). When she was born, she was very wiggly the whole way down the birth canal (ouch!)~I think she was still trying to turn a bit. She came out facing my leg, so I guess that must have been the best position for her.

 

[augustacherri]

If it helps, I DID happen to check my cervix with my first baby and I stayed stalled out at 10 cm (with a small cervical lip) for almost 3 hours.....and he came out just fine....Who knows why? I think I WAS afraid of becoming a mom and doing it alone. I'm sure my psychological state had something to do with it....hopefully now that I'm excited and much more prepared for this birth it will go smoother....

I wish the same luck to you!