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I understand your problem. My 4 year old and a good friend's four year old do not get along either.

But, I think there is a difference between asking children to be friends and asking to be civil to one another while the adults visit. I certainly think you should be able to request that at least the older children are civil to one another in each other's homes - even if this means they basically each play alone.

Some things that have worked better for us are meeting on common ground (playgrounds, late breakfast at Chic-fil-a, beach) and planning activites for the kids at home (decorating cookies, arts-n-crafts, etc.).

Good luck finding some common ground so you can keep your friend!
 
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