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my LLL leading quest

1291 Views 29 Replies 16 Participants Last post by  sunnysideup, 
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I THINK this belongs here. I'm going with that, mod please move it if you think it goes somewhere else.

I started to talk to someone about the LLL leader applicant process. I had to search out someone to work with since there's not officially a group where I live anymore. (I have done nothing in an official capacity toward being a leader or anything, that's what the following rant is about.)

Something you might observe from my sig is that I had major issues with DS and bf'ing. Entirely due to bad advice. As I can now see with dd, I SHOULDN'T have had issues. but we do what we can with what we know at the time.

Now I know LLL makes some exceptions for moms to be leaders who have had issues, so I was in search of info on this. And I found a regional leader willing to work with me.

BUT.....she was told by someone above her that she should stop working with me until DD is 9 months old, due to the rule about not starting an app until your child is 9 months old.

Now, to me, the more I think about it, the more upset I am. I feel I am getting absolutely NO credit for the work I did to provide my son with mother's milk for as long as I could--considering also his need for physical time with me.
I want to say lots of
things about how I feel about this....I mean, I saw FOUR LC's with this child. I pumped exclusively for 6 months--again, I'm saying I did it till I just couldn't ignore the fact that he needed ME. (i.e. he would cry with g'ma, g'pa, dad even though they were feeding, playing, whatever he needed, and stop with me--take his bottle, play, fall asleep, whatever with me that he wouldn't do with them. He wanted his MOM, which is totally *normal.*) Exclusive pumping is an extreme time commitment and you really can't do anything with your babe while you pump.

I could've opted out. I could've said "I can't breastfeed." I know tons of moms who have a typical nursing start who don't bf past a few weeks or a couple months. I would've had all the support in the world for giving up, and I had little (other than finding LLL and online) for sticking it out. But I did it.
And really, doesn't that deserve some sort of credit from the powers that be of LLL?

My other big thing is I'm home for the summer and have a lot more time to work on this now.

So, would you continue to try to fight this? Call the 1-800 # and find someone higher up on the chain? what and how? *I* think I deserve some credit for trying with ds.........
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C
Several things, you are not supposed to be discussing that you are a leader applicant to anyone but the LLL leader that is sponsoring you.

Second, bf for 9 months is standard. Its not a local LLL thing, it is a universal LLL thing. One that I think is important.

Nursing a 3 month old, even over coming severe problems, is very different from nursing a 9 month old or a 15 month old.

You can try by calling the 800 number and see what happens, I'm not sure you'll get anywhere though.

I'm sorry it's a rough go for you right now, and I hope that you don't give up on being an LLL leader.
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C
Good for you for taking care of your son. I'm sorry you had such a difficult time bfing him.

You don't have to sign a confidentiality agreement when you begin the Leader process. You are allowed to tell people that you're a Leader Applicant (like your family or close friends). You are not to identify yourself as an LA at Series Meetings or present yourself as a representative of LLL until you are a Leader though. Asking questions about the process here is perfectly OK.

LLL does make exceptions to the 9 month rule in certain circumstances. Since I assume you plan to continue nursing your dd, I would think that they could start your application now, but not officially accredit you until after your dd is 9 months old.

If I were you, I would talk to the Leader who has been working with you. See who told her that she should stop working with you. Was it an ACLA? If so, you could talk to the CLA. I don't think the 1-800 number would really get you anywhere. But, I think it would be fine to try and keep working on it. Most of the stuff is self-study anyway. Even if they won't officially work with you right now, you could get all the required reading out of the way in your spare time this summer.

Good luck!
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sunnysideup
It's great that you want to become a LLL Leader. It sounds like your area needs a group, and you have lots of valuable experience that will come in handy when you're helping mothers.

Personally, I do think there are good reasons to wait until your baby is 9mo before beginning your leadership application. That experience will be so valuable when you are helping other mothers.

The application process normally takes about a year. If you spend these next few months getting the reading done, once your baby is 9mo you'll be able to finish your application more quickly.
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I have been contemplating this myself. FYI from Overview of Training Curriculum for Leader Accreditation

Quote:
LLLI Prerequisites to Applying for Leadership

Personal Breastfeeding Experience
Mother has breastfed her baby for at least nine months when she applies for leadership. Baby was nourished with mother's milk until there was a nutritional need for other foods (i.e., about the middle of the first year for a healthy, full term baby). If baby was weaned, the baby was nursed for about a year and the transition from breastfeeding respected the baby's needs.

Note: Special consideration may be given to a woman whose personal breastfeeding experience is outside the realm of a normal course of breastfeeding.
LP
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TanyaS
2
I agree with the nine month minimum. It used to be 12 months.
I am sorry you feel like you are not getting credit for the nourishment you gave your son. Do you need to get credit from someone else? Or is it enough to look at your little boy and know you did the best you could for him? I do not think that LLLI is judging you at all. It is probably very hard for you because you feel like your efforts were not recognized.

I am sorry you are so frustrated right now. Have you discussed this with your sponsoring leader? I would recommend that you don't let this stall you. There is a lot of required reading that is to be done before you are accredited. Take this time to get all your reading completed and work on your helping skills in the breastfeeding forum (or at LLLI's forum
). I don't think the requirement is something that you should let get in the way of your desire to help mothers and babies. If you finish all the reading ahead of time, you'll probably whiz through the rest. Talk to your sponsoring Leader to see if it's an option.
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I also was going to suggest that you get a jumpstart on the reading and checklist items. Also, there is nothing to prevent you from working ahead on your correspondance; you just have to wait to submit it.

I also think the 9 month rule is a good one (I thought the 12 month rule was better, but no one asked me about it). If I am reading the OP correctly, it's not that you CAN'T become a LA because you are pumping; but rather, that you must WAIT until your child is 9 months old. This is universally required of all LAs (except in the aforementioned special circumstances), and shouldn't be a point of offense for you.

There are many other things you can do for preparation before your application is formally accepted. No one is criticisizing your effort or trying to undermine you; just asking you to wait a while.

Good luck to you...
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elanorh
3
There isn't an LLL group here either, and I've thought about trying to become a Leader.

I think that you have a lot of experience to offer other moms, through EPing for the first six months of your ds' life, and also bf this current bundle.
Since it takes so long to become a leader anyway, I'd say that if I were you I would ask for the reading lists and see whether you can work on those and work on any other paperwork "ahead" this summer, and then as pps have suggested, that should speed up the actual application in the end.

I can understand the "9 month" guideline (I didn't realize it wasn't still 12 months) -- there's such a difference between 0, 3, and 9 months (and even more difference once we get to 18 months
) .... Obviously you're going to meet that guideline, so if I were you, I'd just ask what I could work ahead on, and progress from there.
This will also let them know how dedicated you are. I am sure that starting a group from scratch is difficult -- that's one of the things holding me back from starting the process, myself!
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W
I think her point is that she feels that because she didn't make to nine months with her son (EPing), she's somehow considered not worthy of giving advice or representing LLL.

I would be surprised if there was no exception made for mothers who went as far as you did with getting help, who know what went wrong initially, and fully understand an recognise what to do to make it not go wrong the next time (like you've shown you understand with your daughter). And you have the experience of EPing to share. But then I dunno, I'm not a leader or LA.
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L
subbing to reply later!
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L
5
The nine months guideline is there for a purpose. Nobody is trying to say that your experience isn't good enough.
: My best suggestion is to just wait it out. You have three more months to go, and that's not long at all!
In the meanwhile, do your required reading. Get a feel for helping (read questions on this board or other boards and try looking up answers to those you don't know). Visit LLL Online chats.
You can work on your application now without actually working on your application, kwim? When your baby turns nine months, you'll have a lot less work to do!

I know you feel judged, but you're honestly not being judged. Any mother in a situation where she didn't nurse for the full 9 months would be asked to wait.
The exception rule generally applies when a mother has still met the prerequisite time. In this case, I think the folks up top are trying to help!

I wouldn't bother calling the 1-800 number. At this point in time, there really isn't anyone in the office who can help you. They would send you to your Area or Region for support.
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M
I breastfed my oldest for 6 months with lots and lots of struggles. I became involved with LLL when my 2nd child was a newborn and I think I started the process to become a leader when he was about 6 months old. This was something I talked to the leader about because I hadn't yet breastfed a child to 9 months. It was fine though because the process takes almost a year, so by the time I was accredited I was breastfeeding a 16 month old while pregnant


Each one of the struggles you have encountered will do wonderful things for you as a leader and your level of empathy. Do not be upset that it will take a bit of time for you to meet this other requirment, I was there myself. Sometimes I find it to be a really interesting perspective to be a LLL leader who has also formula fed, but now tandem nurses a 3 year old and 1 year old.
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Other posters have covered it well, I think, but I just wanted to make sure you know that the 9-month minimum age has to do with ensuring that a mama's focus is on her baby while the baby is still so young -- and it applies to everyone.

That said, was there anything anyone said that made you feel like your breastfeeding difficulties would be a hindrance? Where I am, there are leaders who supplemented, leaders who breastfed adopted children, and many other situations -- and those are often the most helpful leaders. I hope that no one is making you feel unwelcome, or like your experience isn't valuable!
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Quote:

Originally Posted by momma2emerson View Post
Good for you for taking care of your son. I'm sorry you had such a difficult time bfing him.

You don't have to sign a confidentiality agreement when you begin the Leader process. You are allowed to tell people that you're a Leader Applicant (like your family or close friends). You are not to identify yourself as an LA at Series Meetings or present yourself as a representative of LLL until you are a Leader though. Asking questions about the process here is perfectly OK.

LLL does make exceptions to the 9 month rule in certain circumstances. Since I assume you plan to continue nursing your dd, I would think that they could start your application now, but not officially accredit you until after your dd is 9 months old.

Good luck!

That's what I thought too, that we could do everything now and then all I'd have to do is get the official word it's done when she's 9 months old. *that* was OK with me.
The person I was working with is a CLA, someone higher up told her she should stop talking to me till DD is 9 months old.

And no, I didn't sign any kind of confidentiality agreement, nor have I even 'officially' applied as far as any kind of paperwork. So I figured it would be OK to basically vent here and find out what I could do about it. It does tick me off, and there is a part of me that wonders how bad I even want this if my work with my son means so little to the powers-that-be that I can't even work on the reading and the process and then officially be a Leader when Sophia's older.

Yeah, I might not have sat in at any nurse-ins (yet!) or gone to LLL breastfeeding picnic and walk day (because I knew I'd feel weird pulling out a bottle no matter what my situation was with it) but I spent hours upon hours making sure my son got what I believed was best for him. That SHOULD count for something. it's twice the work, you sacrifice time that you should be snuggling your baby, and you listen to everyone around you tell you that you should just open a can of formula and let it be. (even more so than actually nursing, most people 'get' that as a choice. NObody understands why on earth you'd choose to pump and bottle...)
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well yeah, what I was told by the person I was working with is she was asked to wait to continue corresponding with me until baby is 9 months.
She said I could read, which I can. And I like the idea of reading and answering on these boards, which I can do as long as I am just one mom who's lived through a bad experience currently having an excellent experience talking to some other moms.
and who's also done a lot of reading already--I'm at least partially familiar with Womanly Art (I read the sections that had to do with healthy full-term babies and starting nursing while I was pregnant with #2) and I've read most of the Sears books.

I'll take suggestions on other things to read.

and I could send in my membership which I need to do and then buy WAoB online at the member price.....

I don't have any of the 'official' Leader applicant stuff yet, nothing official at all. I was just talking to someone who could help me out who talked to somebody else higher up who told her to wait.

and I wouldn't exactly be starting a group from nothing, our Leader moved and we have nobody right now but a group of moms. We're still letting people know we exist, we're just telling everyone now that we are a moms' group, not officially LLL till we get a leader again. So we're basically a group of moms who breastfeed who get together, let our kids play, and offer advice and help to anybody who shows up wanting it pretty much.
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TanyaS
You need to read the WAB, Mothering Your Nursing Toddler, and at least one book in these categories: Breastfeeding, Special Situations, Childbirth and Pregnancy, Child Care and Parenting, Food and Nutrition, and Communication.

Later, you'll order your Leader supplies and you will read The Leader Handbook, The Breastfeeding Answer Book, and the pamphlets and info sheets LLLI publishes. You'll also need to read a copy of Leaven, New Beginnings and the Area's Leader publication.

There is a lot of reading to do prior to doing your official application.
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LianneM
It sounds like you are going to be an AWESOME leader! What valuable experience you have to share with other moms, wow!

Try not to let this situation get you down. Being asked to stop "corresponding" could mean several things. I doubt that it means she can't talk to you until your baby is 9 months, but I guess that is possible. Just seems silly. We talk to moms all the time as they wait for their babies to reach that point, and then they apply. It's not like the topic of leadership is off-limits. I hope that was just poor word choice on someone's part.

Definitely work on the reading! That is usually what takes the longest anyway. I had my reading done by the time I applied and I was accredited in much than a year. There are many factors, and everyone is different in the way they help new leaders, so just remember that each mom is a mom, and human, and try to work through the issues if/when they come up.
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L
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Quote:

Originally Posted by zakers_mama View Post
That's what I thought too, that we could do everything now and then all I'd have to do is get the official word it's done when she's 9 months old. *that* was OK with me.
The person I was working with is a CLA, someone higher up told her she should stop talking to me till DD is 9 months old.
I think what was meant was that the CLA can't begin to work on your application until your baby is 9 months. According to policy, you can't become an official applicant until then.


Quote:

Originally Posted by zakers_mama View Post
And no, I didn't sign any kind of confidentiality agreement,
AFAIK, there is no such thing.
:

Quote:

Originally Posted by zakers_mama View Post
nor have I even 'officially' applied as far as any kind of paperwork. So I figured it would be OK to basically vent here and find out what I could do about it.


Quote:

Originally Posted by zakers_mama View Post
It does tick me off, and there is a part of me that wonders how bad I even want this if my work with my son means so little to the powers-that-be that I can't even work on the reading and the process and then officially be a Leader when Sophia's older.
You can work on the reading and you can practice inbetween now and then. Once you are officially accepted as an applicant, the CLA will provide you with the more information and and give you assignments to complete.


It's a process. It takes time (and patience!). Hang in there, and I promise you'll make it to the other side.
:

Quote:

Originally Posted by zakers_mama View Post
Yeah, I might not have sat in at any nurse-ins (yet!)
LLL Leaders aren't really supposed to participate in nurse-ins (not in an official capacity, anyway).

Quote:

Originally Posted by zakers_mama View Post
or gone to LLL breastfeeding picnic and walk day (because I knew I'd feel weird pulling out a bottle no matter what my situation was with it).


FWIW, most the mothers I know wouldn't have batted an eyelash.

Quote:

Originally Posted by zakers_mama View Post
well yeah, what I was told by the person I was working with is she was asked to wait to continue corresponding with me until baby is 9 months.
Again, that's understandable.
You can't officially apply for three more months. In the meanwhile, she can work with mothers who are further ahead in their application and you can work on your reading and expanding on your breastfeeding knowledge.


Quote:

Originally Posted by zakers_mama View Post
She said I could read, which I can. And I like the idea of reading and answering on these boards, which I can do as long as I am just one mom who's lived through a bad experience currently having an excellent experience talking to some other moms.
and who's also done a lot of reading already--I'm at least partially familiar with Womanly Art (I read the sections that had to do with healthy full-term babies and starting nursing while I was pregnant with #2) and I've read most of the Sears books.
Sure!

You might even consider hanging out on the LLLI boards http://forums.llli.org or the LLL EUS boards http://llleus.org/forums . You might even find it helpful to attend LLLI sponsered online chats http://www.lalecheleague.org/chat/chat.hmtl .

Quote:

Originally Posted by zakers_mama View Post
I'll take suggestions on other things to read.

and I could send in my membership which I need to do and then buy WAoB online at the member price.....

Quote:

Originally Posted by zakers_mama View Post
I don't have any of the 'official' Leader applicant stuff yet, nothing official at all. I was just talking to someone who could help me out who talked to somebody else higher up who told her to wait.
Nods. You'll get there...

Quote:

Originally Posted by zakers_mama View Post
and I wouldn't exactly be starting a group from nothing, our Leader moved and we have nobody right now but a group of moms. We're still letting people know we exist, we're just telling everyone now that we are a moms' group, not officially LLL till we get a leader again. So we're basically a group of moms who breastfeed who get together, let our kids play, and offer advice and help to anybody who shows up wanting it pretty much.

That's GREAT!
So nice that ya'll are continuing to meet.


Your group could consider pooling money to become a BRC:
http://www.lalecheleague.org/ed/brc.html

That way you all would have breastfeeding information right on hand (a mini version of the lending library!).

You might also be interested in the LLLI peer counselor program:
http://www.llli.org/ed/PeerCounsel.html

HTH!
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R
ZakersMama,

It can be hard not to take something personally, especially when you are clearly really motivated. It used to be that the particular time criteria for accepting a leader applicant was that she had breastfed a child for 12 months.

Do the reading, hang out on the LLL boards, get yourself ready to become a Leader Applicant once your babe is 9 months old.

Your experience having overcome difficulties, eping for your first child, can give you a really internalized empathy supporting other mama's who are experiencing difficulties, that said, you still need to meet the minimum time criteria.

Your total experience with EPing and nursing that took a more usual course will serve you well.

Hang in there and do the things you can to be ready to for the applicancy process, which takes most mom's a year but if you've done preparatory reading and work may take you less time.

The thing about not announcing your LA status all over the place is partly liability, if others know you are an LA they feel like they can ask you for formal breastfeeding help, until you are accredited you aren't covered by LLL Liability Insurance.

I had a situation during my applicancy where a somewhat casual acquaintance asked me a breastfeeding help question (thinking I was a leader), I had revelant info, the first thing I did was clearly establish what my helping limits were (at the time) "I'm not a leader, I do have some info sheets that may be helpful...", I checked with my CLA about how to best handle it, gave her the info sheets and recommended she talk with one of our accredited leaders.

Ruth
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Quote:

Originally Posted by ruthr View Post
ZakersMama,

The thing about not announcing your LA status all over the place is partly liability, if others know you are an LA they feel like they can ask you for formal breastfeeding help, until you are accredited you aren't covered by LLL Liability Insurance.

Ruth
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