[Lunaria]

Aaaaaagh! I just had to get that out, oh the frustration.

I had my second appt with my midwife, first time I met her as my first appt was with a midwife who was just filling in. My care will be shared between two midwives, I haven't met the other one yet.

Anyway, I made it clear I want a homebirth. I have had two cesareans, one for unexpected breech and another when I had pre-e. I am healthy so far, normal pregnancy. I feel I am a great candidate for homebirth! I can't imagine giving birth in a hospital, to me that's like having sex in the hospital with people watching and waiting and poking at you. I know not everyone feels that way, but I do.

She kept saying we need to compromise so that everyone is comfortable. Pardon me? Isn't it not my body and my birth and my baby? I am making an informed choice, I know the risks. Thankfully she said that she will confer with other midwives in the area and if she can find someone who is ok with my Hba2c, and can take me, then I can switch. I don't know though, now with midwives being registered here in Canada, they really answer to the medical community.

Ugh. I don't know what's going to happen but at least I have some time to try and work something out. What do you ladies think? And thanks for just reading.

Jenny

 

[lotus.blossom]

I'm sorry to hear about your midwife troubles...... Have they given you a good reason that you can't have your homebirth? Is it because you are a
VBA2C? Are you comfortable with UC? I certainly don't know what I would do if I didn't have such wonderful supportive midwives. Without them I would probably just schedule a c/s. I know how unsupportive the hospitals in this area are about VBAC. It would be next to impossible to have a sucessful one here.

I certainly hope you can find another midwife or gather the strength to UC. Much luck!!

 

[CookAMH]

I'm sorry

Thanks for sharing - keep your chin up

 

[octanebeetle27]

Awww I'm so sorry--what a bummer to have to worry about this! I wish you lived where I do--my midwife's first two births were c-sections and her last three were HBACs. I hope that get you what you want. ((hugs))

 

[kdtmom2be]

Lunaria, what province are you in? In BC the midwives need to confer with an OB for an HBAC but as long as you are close to the hospital (i.e. less than 30 min) then they're generally ok with it.

I don't think that they should be ruling out home-birth for you at this point... is there any way you can talk to them again and let them know that IF there were indictions that a hospital birth were better idea that you would be WILLING to transfer, but you would appreciate it if they would be willing to allow and attend a home birth if there were NO indications that you should transfer? That was a sticking point with my midwives the first time around. They want people who want to home birth to at least agree to be somewhat flexible and be willing to agree to a transfer if there was a problem. In the end they let me make the call to transfer and also the call for a c-section. There are a lot who would have pushed for transfer as soon as my water broke (meconium) and a c-section right away instead of an epi and pit to see if we could manage pain and progress labour enough to do a vaginal birth SOON (I was 6 cm).

All that to say, try talking to them again. Maybe they feel you are a risk to them because they feel that you will NOT transfer no matter what and that is a risk to thier practice. ??

 

[jenneology]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lunaria She kept saying we need to compromise so that everyone is comfortable. Pardon me? Isn't it not my body and my birth and my baby? I am making an informed choice, I know the risks.

Amen. This conondrum bothers me so much about modern maternity care. I'm not familiar with the Canadian system, but can you shop around to find a midwife who would be supportive of your wishes?

 

[JoyfulJaime]

Where are you located in Canada? I know some VERY awesome midwives who often take clients that other midwives reject as "risky". They are located in Scarborough, Ontario.

 

[Lunaria]

Thank you all for your support, advise and listening ears! I feel a little less steamed now that a couple of days have passed.

I am in BC for those of you who asked. There is a real shortage of midwives here and unless she was able to transfer me herself, I won't be able to get a different one. I'm just going to have to do what I can to inform myself(I'll be hitting the books)and stand up for what I want.

I realize they see me as a potential liability. She never discussed if I was willing to transfer or how far away from the hospital I am(I can see it from my house, it's at the end of my road). I would be willing to transfer if there were obvious warning signs, but I would want to be the one making the decision. She may bring this up next visit.

I am worried that even if they do allow me to have a homebirth(and the problem is I've had 2 sections, they seem to be ok if you've had just 1). That they will bring fear to my birth. I need women who are confidant in their abilities and confident in me.

My only alternative would be to try and get a non-registered midwife(something rather frowned upon here), and pay a couple of grand we really have no idea where it would come from. If we could get one for my due date. I am considering it though

My next appt is Jan 8th. I'll let you know how it goes. Does anyone have recommendations for books I could read regarding vbacs? I've read silent knive almost 2 years ago. I would like to be informed as much as I can.

Jenny

 

[russianthistle]

Grrr

: this is the whole problem with the medicalization of birth. I am sorry to hear of your predicament. I think you should, at least, check out the nonregistered mw's. It might be something that's frowned upon, but, it might be frowned upon the way, say, co-sleeping or cloth diapering can be...

My friend is in a similar situation, and it is frustrating...

s, mama.

 

[rhiandmoi]

It's probably the Pre-e that is scaring her, and the 2 previous c-sections aren't helping. Frankly I would not risk it, but if you feel confident you may ask to be able to prepare for a homebirth as your "default" unless something comes up medically. You still have a long way to go and a lot can still happen.

 

[catters]

Sorry I don't have any advice, but wanted to offer virtual

and hope that you get to birth the way YOU feel most comfortable!

 

[kdtmom2be]

Quote:

Originally Posted by russianthistle Grrr : this is the whole problem with the medicalization of birth. I am sorry to hear of your predicament. I think you should, at least, check out the nonregistered mw's. It might be something that's frowned upon, but, it might be frowned upon the way, say, co-sleeping or cloth diapering can be...

Unfortunately that is not necessarily the case here. The non-reg midwife in question (are there even more than the one around here?) doesn't exactly have the best reputation and has been targeted by the media A LOT. Personally, I wouldn't risk a birth with a non-reg midwife in these parts because the media would be ALL over you if something went wrong (and by "wrong" I mean even a birth that works out just fine but requires a hospital transfer).

 

[scrappingmom]

So sorry for this frustration for you! I kinda know the feeling, my insurance wont pay for a midwife(that i can find anything about anyway) and certainly not HB, I"d love to have a HB but *sighs* guess it wont happen unless by "accident"

Something in this I find quite ironic(I'm making no political stance here please dont read that in) It is such a hard thing fro many of us to have teh birthing experiance we want due to medicalization... yet in many areas we could at this point in our pregnancies walk in and say I want an abortion.. and get it with very little trouble... ironic isnt it?! its our choice then i guess??? but not on how to deliver.... ugh the frustrations in our "advanced" society huh..lol (again no political stance just observing an irony, in my eyes at least)

hopefully at your next appointment you can get the points, about your nearness to teh hospital and that you'd be willing to transfer laid out clearly and perhaps it would make the tides turn for you! Sometime when the WHOLE picture is seen it makes a difference.... hopefully in your case! otherwise maybe you could get tehhospital.mw to agree to as close to HB as posible?? (birthing pool, eat as you feel, whatver else you'd envisioned, even kids being able to be at the hospital??) just in THEIR "home". At least they are saying this NOW and not say 2wks before EDD so if they totally refuse AND you cant be transfered to another MW you can mentally prepare..

best of luck and keep us posted!