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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
And I mean that in a fond --though occasionally still exasperated and irritated--way. Some of her ideas are so whacked, all I can do is laugh. It's probably a good thing that she gives these suggestions to dh when I'm not around (which used to make me furious), because I'd just laugh in her face. Here are two recent "suggestions."

Suggestion 1: Put ds1 into daycare twice a week, so I have some time alone with the baby and so ds1 learns "to get along with other kids."

Yeah, and I put my own career on hiatus just so I could shell out big bucks for someone else to watch my child?? Let's not even mention all the illness and bad habits he'd pick up! And even if I did think it was a good idea, how does she expect us to pay for it on one salary? Besides which, ds gets a LOT of time socializing with other kids (while supervised by me), and is a good deal more social than most 2 year olds.

Suggestion 2: You've got to hear this one verbatim to get the full impact. Keep in mind MIL is a lapsed Catholic, and we are active members of a Unity Church (New Thought Christain).

MIL (looking on as dh changes the baby's diaper): Is he circumcised?
DH: No. (she knows we didn't circ ds1 either)
MIL: Well, are you going to do it?
DH: No.
MIL: Are you planning to Bar Mitzvah them at 13?
(WTF?
: )
DH: No.
MIL: You know our Lord was circumcised.
(That's because he was Jewish!)
DH: So?

Correct me if I'm wrong, but I didn't think circumcising was part of Catholic doctrine. Any practicing Catholics out there want to enlighten me?
 

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that whole socialization thing with school/daycare bugs the [email protected] out of me. someone actually had the nerve (or stupidity, in this case...) to ask me how my dd was going to 'get used to bullying' if she didn't experience it in school.
:

for the most part from what i've seen (and i've worked in my share of daycares and preschools) is that the socialization that most little ones receive in these settings is actually pretty negative and detrimental, i'm sorry to say. i'd much rather be supervising my child in a playgroup of other parents/kids of MY choosing than let someone else less vested in the health, safety and wellbeing of my child to do it.

as for the circ...can't elaborate on the religious aspect as i have no personal background in it but i'm sure another helpful mama will expound.

so sorry you're having to deal with this, mama. your mil's a little
: !
 

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I think suggestion two is clearly comletely insane. But it was good for a laugh!


However, as a mom of three kids who are now 10, 5 and 3, I find suggestion one - while a little much - not as out there as it might seem to you right now. I know that I would have responded exactly as you are when my kids were younger. I am staying home with them! Why would I put them in daycare??? We socialize; we have playdates/playgroups/library storytime/mom and me gymnastics/etc.

Now, even though I said NEVER, NEVER when I was in your shoes, my dd3 (just turned three last month) has been in an in-home childcare one half to one full day per week for the last nine months. I tell you that it was heaven! My older two are in school full time during the school year. To have that one day (or even half a day) to run errands - to go to the grocery store BY MYSELF! or get my teeth cleaned or take the car in for an oil change or buy a new pair of jeans or return stuff or whatever needed to be done. It was so nice to have that day.

When my kids were younger, I didn't feel I needed that time. We ran the errands together. It was fine. But as the years wore on, and I had three kids, and life just got busier - well, it was just so nice to have that one day where I could get a dozen things done - pick out a frame for that pic for my gramma without anyone getting lost in the frame store or worrying that the baby would break something, then standing in line at the post office to mail it without anyone complaining about the wait. To go here and there without buckling and unbuckling the car seats, and having to stop to pick up what was dropped in the car and just could NOT wait til the stop light! and reaching around behind me to hand fishie crackers, or whatever!

You may not need it now. And I think two days a week is a bit much. But one half or full day a week, in a year or two, might be a nice break for you. I waited too long to take that time for myself and ended up burned out. My dd3 is in an in-home daycare run by a friend of mine. I know she is safe and loved. It is a good day for her and for me each week.
 

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Suggestion 2: You've got to hear this one verbatim to get the full impact.

Quote:
Keep in mind MIL is a lapsed Catholic, and we are active members of a Unity Church (New Thought Christain).

MIL (looking on as dh changes the baby's diaper): Is he circumcised?
DH: No. (she knows we didn't circ ds1 either)
MIL: Well, are you going to do it?
DH: No.
MIL: Are you planning to Bar Mitzvah them at 13?
(WTF? )
DH: No.
MIL: You know our Lord was circumcised.
(That's because he was Jewish!)
DH: So?

Correct me if I'm wrong, but I didn't think circumcising was part of Catholic doctrine. Any practicing Catholics out there want to enlighten me?
Practicing Catholic here, but this is one any Christian can answer...NEW COVENANT. Yes, Jesus was circ'd bc he was Jewish=Old Covenant. Follower/believers in Christ as our Savior follow follow with the New Covenant=Baptism. She may need to study her catechism a little more closely.


Here are a few passages for her. Email them to her or send her this link for the full article:http://www.cirp.org/library/cultural/fadel2/
The Church spoke forcefully about circumcision at the Council of Florence (1438-1445). Pope Eugene IV (1442) issued a Papal Bull which states in part,

Therefore it strictly orders all who glory in the name of Christian, not to practise circumcision either before or after baptism, since whether or not they place their hope in it, it cannot possibly be observed without loss of eternal salvation.

The letter to the Corinthians (1 Corinthians 12:18) reiterates God's genius as man's Creator. "But that isn't the way God has made us. He has made many parts for our bodies and has put each part just where he wants it" (The Way 1979).

Nothing in Catholic doctrine requires Catholic hospitals to provide nontherapeutic infant circumcisions. To the contrary, the Catechism teaches that nontherapeutic amputations violate the moral law. An infant's foreskin belongs first and foremost to the infant-not to his parents, not to the hospital, not to the physician, and not to companies that want amputated foreskins to develop other products. Companies that do this are reminiscent of the Nazis who used the skins of murdered Jews to make lampshades. The American Heritage Dictionary (1982) defines mutilate as: "1. To cut off or destroy a limb or essential part. 2. to render imperfect by excising or radically altering a part." The foreskin is a protective and sexual organ that covers and protects the sterile urinary tract environment; contains tens of thousands of specialized, erogenous nerve endings; and provides the sliding and gliding mechanism that allows for nonabrasive, lubricating, normal sexual intercourse for both the male and female. All that is lost with circumcision. In addition, circumcision has been shown to cause erectile dysfunction (Coursey 1991; Fink 2002).


Maybe that will get her to back down.
A google search of catholic and circumcision will come up with loads of references for you to present to her.


Are you sure we don't have the same MIL? She too is a lapsed Catholic and full of the same sort of idiotic ideas like day care for socialization, but she takes it even further by insisting that I should introduce solids earlier (she's even mentioned 2 WEEKS at one point!!!), that we should use CIO and stop the family bed/co-sleeping, that "ahh, it's only a treat" DS should eat crap food. (is that a bad word here??
) On and on...the woman is unbelievable.

I feel your pain, sister. Good luck!!
 

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Yes, I had to look into that too when I decided not to circ. But I was told what others have posted here. Also, in my research I discovered that way back then circ was not what it is today. They cut off far less skin and still had enough to cover the glans. I think it's a generational thing also, my mom swears up and down every chance she gets that it's dirty and gross and she'd never have a man who was uncirc'd and blah blah blah. I've tried the whole female hygiene argument, the medical arguments, the cleanliness and disease arguments, I can't get her to my side.
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
Kirsten, I agree with you, actually. When I need a break, I leave ds1 with MIL for a few hours (despite her often loony notions, she's a loving and caring grandmother and both boys love her). But to say he "needs" daycare for socialization is a different issue. The funny thing is that MIL was a SAHM (and is now a SAHW), and I highly doubt she put her kids in daycare.

Thanks for the Catholic links. I was fairly certain this was the case; I just wanted to make sure. I don't know if I'll use them or not. We've learned that logic doesn't really make much difference when dealing with MIL.

She's actually a smart lady. She just has these blind spots of glaring ignorance. I used to take her comments personally (ie, she thinks we're bad parents), but now I've learned it's about her need to be the "expert." It wouldn't matter what I did, she'd find fault with something. So, now I just try to find the humor in her comments.
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by kidspiration
that whole socialization thing with school/daycare bugs the [email protected] out of me. someone actually had the nerve (or stupidity, in this case...) to ask me how my dd was going to 'get used to bullying' if she didn't experience it in school.
:

for the most part from what i've seen (and i've worked in my share of daycares and preschools) is that the socialization that most little ones receive in these settings is actually pretty negative and detrimental, i'm sorry to say. i'd much rather be supervising my child in a playgroup of other parents/kids of MY choosing than let someone else less vested in the health, safety and wellbeing of my child to do it.

 
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