Mothering Forum banner
1 - 20 of 29 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
137 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I was sorting through DS#1 and DS#2's 0-3mos and 3-6mos clothing to see what I could use for the baby (DD#1) as I am going on a shopping expedition on Monday and didn't want to buy anything I don't need. Well my mom walks in in the middle of me sorting and goes off on how I have enough clothes, that no one is going to care if she is dressed in blue, and I shouldn't go shopping until after the baby is born because "I could get lucky and this baby could just die before it is born". WTF!!!! I mean I know my mom doesn't agree with our decision to have a large family (she doesn't believe you can love any other children like you do your first and it isn't fair to them...BTW I'm her 2nd child) but to wish my baby dies in utero?

This really bothered me.

Jennifer
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
6,040 Posts
Wow, that would be the last time I talked to my mom if she said that to me! That is got to be the rudest, most completely ignornat thing a person can say to a pregnant woman. I'm so sorry she said that to you
.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
229 Posts
I'm so sorry that your mom isn't being supportive enough. If it makes you feel any better my ma offered to "pay for my abortion" when I first told her I was pregnant
: AND she knew I had planned it. Don't worry no matter what your mother says you know you can always talk your DDC -everyone is so warm in here and we support you and are HAPPY that you are expecting!! Hang in there and focus on all the pos. things happening in your life
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,184 Posts
That's the single worst thing I have ever heard of a mother saying to her child. I hope you let her have it. Speaking as a woman who has suffered a miscarriage, that's something you wouldn't wish on your worst enemy.... let alone your own child!

I'm so incredibly sorry she said that to you.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
347 Posts
Oh hun that is HORENDOUS!!!!!!!! You need to seriously just put that out of your mind forever!! that is a bunch of rubbish and I pray that you can just seriously brush off the power of such mean spirited words!!! *massive hugs*
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
127 Posts
I'm sorry your mom said that to you. My mom made a similar comment when I was pregnant with my first child. Every time I'd tell her something that I was excited about (seeing the heartbeat, finding out she was a girl, getting clothes for her), she'd tell me I shouldn't be so excited because the baby could still die. DD is 2 now and I still haven't gotten over it.

With this pregnancy, when we told her it was a boy, she said how she never thought she'd have to worry about me having a son since women in our family just never have boys....and how disappointed she was that it was a boy.

My advice is to find other people who will be excited about your babe and share your news with them...and brace yourself whenever you're going to talk to your mom (or just don't talk to her anymore).
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,632 Posts


That is the most awful thing I have ever heard.


Btw I wanted to mention that I am in the Jan. ddc but could very well go in the end of Dec....and I too live in Lawrence.


I would love to hang sometime or if you ever need to talk! ....pm me if that sounds good to you...

 

·
Registered
Joined
·
137 Posts
Discussion Starter · #15 ·
Thanks everyone. I should be used to it by now as my mother has a very obvious mental/personality disorder, but unfortunately only my father and I see it. He was lucky - he divorced her 3 years ago and moved across the country. So, seeing as no one else thinks there is a problem DH and I decided it would be best for her health if we took her in and "watched" her. So, there is no way to avoid her as she lives with me. Some of the things she has said are enough to just devastate the average person but I guess I am pretty tough skinned. On the positive side, she has been so horrible to my DH that he actually has started going to therapy which I have been trying to get him to do for years so he can deal with some serious abondonment and guilt issues arising from the deaths of both his parents and sister. So, even though she is Satan in disguise some good comes from it. We have, however, agreed that if she starts playing mental games with the kids she is out.

Honestly I was too stunned to react so I didn't say anything other than "I'll buy whatever the f&^k I want whenever the f*&k I want".

Jennifer
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,324 Posts
I am so so sorry she said that to you. Can't send enough
s your way. Thick-skinned is an understatement if you let her live with you- I agree with pp that you must be a saint.
I hope that is the only horrible thing she says to you ever again....
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
367 Posts
Quote:

Originally Posted by jenr
On the positive side, she has been so horrible to my DH that he actually has started going to therapy which I have been trying to get him to do for years so he can deal with some serious abondonment and guilt issues arising from the deaths of both his parents and sister.
Sounds like she is the one who truly needs therapy. I am sorry you have to deal with this.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
724 Posts
I'm so sorry your mom said that to you! That is just awful!

On another note... You are in Lawrence! Why did I not know this! I'm in Topeka or close to it anyway! PM me and maybe we can get together sometime with the kids and the pregnant bellies! I would love someone to talk to sometimes!

Andrea
 
1 - 20 of 29 Posts
This is an older thread, you may not receive a response, and could be reviving an old thread. Please consider creating a new thread.
Top