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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
My *almost 4 year old neice "C" keeps asking if she can nurse from me. I will be nursing DD *almost 2* and C will ask if she can nurse.

I'm very sad for her, but don't know what to say. I can't say yes b/c her mom would flip out! I don't want to tell her she's too old or too big b/c I don't believe that to be true. I just say "auntie Rachel only has enough milk for Gracie" but I don't think she gets the concept that nursing involves milk at all and give me a
: look

C was only nursed for *maybe* 6mo, I know that her mom started with bottles from the time she was about 2mo or so. But, says she "nursed her for 6mo". My SIL doesn't really think that breastfeeding is a big deal, and is one of those people who believe that ABM is just as good as BM
:

Anyway, the other night we were at a church event (very very casual) and C asked her mom if she could nurse. Her mom turned various shades of red and said "I can't nurse, I don't have any milk." and C says "no mom! I will nurse from you" looking at her like my SIL had lost her mind.

She was practically begging her mom to nurse. It was rather sad, to see this child who still needs nursing but can't get it. C had a bottle of milk or juice (or koolaid)
: for bedtime until really recently~maybe 4mo ago or so.

so, what do I say to this little girl? I feel sad for her, I feel like she does need to nurse (just not from me) but her mom is not open to the idea of nursing a 4yo, heck all of her kids were weaned between 2 and 6mo of age. It was too much for her to try and nurse longer


thanks for listening to me vent

Rachel
 

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maybe it would help if her mom explained to her what nursing really is, and offered to spend some extra cuddle time with her instead. she seems to need to be close to someone and she can see that you have a loving relationship with your own dd, so she wants you to 'nurse' with her too. i think she probably just needs some extra lovin
hth
 

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i kinda have this same problem. my friend's 2yr old girl wants to nurse me every time she sees me nurse my dd. i'd let her, but i don't want her to want me and be upset that i can't do it all the time for her!
 

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Quote:
Originally posted by eilonwy
maybe it would help if her mom explained to her what nursing really is, and offered to spend some extra cuddle time with her instead. she seems to need to be close to someone and she can see that you have a loving relationship with your own dd, so she wants you to 'nurse' with her too. i think she probably just needs some extra lovin
hth
i agre that "c" needs some extra cuddling, and lovin, however if her mom sees no difference between bf and aim feeding, she probably would be less than kind explaining it.

maybe rachel *ypu* could explain to her what nursing really is?
 

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sounds like she doesn't even know what it is...that there is milk and stuff.

and that mommies nurse their babies

that she is a big girl now, but she can nurse her dolls and when she is bigger she can nurse her real babies.

is, my two cents.
 

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My 4 yo asks, and his 7 yo cousin used to ask what the milk tastes like.

I expressed a little and let them both drink some. They both thought it was sweet and weird tasting.

That ended a LOT of the requests to nurse from my 4 yo (though I did let him try many times--he was nursed to 10.5 months so no toddler nursing
). He now knows he can try anytime he likes, but he just likes to watch his 17 mo brother nurse.

And my nephew didn't ask again, though he's proud to know what it tastes like!

Maybe you could mention to your SIL that your niece asks, and offer to let her taste some expressed milk. It could be curiousity about the milk itself as well as a desire for the closeness.
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
she knows that nursing is different than cuddling. I don't hide when nursing DD and she knows that DD nurses on my breasts.

C actually does get held quite a bit (not that "you're my special child and I love holding and cuddling you hold" more like the "if I hold you then you can't be getting into anything, or the I will holed you so you will stop crying hold")

she wants the boob part of nursing. She sees DD suckling and wants that, how do I handle it?

I've tried explaining that Gracie gets milk, and that each mommy makes milk for her own child, but sadly I don't think this is sticking. She wants to suckle.

I think another part of it is that Gracie always nurses to sleep, maybe she still has that desire to suckle herself to sleep but has nothing to do it with. I don't think re-introducing a bottle at this point would be helpful b/c of bottle rot potential. My SIL would just keep refilling and refilling the bottle with milk/juice (or whatever, never water though) all night long and C couldn't sleep without sucking on that thing.

I don't want to hide to nurse DD, I don't think I should have to. In reality, me nursing DD is probably what will plant the seeds for C to nurse her own children. In DH's family they all wean early, even the one with major premie babies weaned by the time the baby was home from the hospital
just b/c pumping was too much trouble. They all think I'm some sort of nut for nursing so long, and yet they are intrigued at the same time :LOL

*side note: DH's family is full of diabetes, obesity, heart problems, cancer, colon problems, digestive problems....these people should be nursing their kids into College years :LOL
 

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i like that suggestion too.
 
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