Mothering Forum banner

1 - 15 of 15 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
539 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
My non-stress test went great; all they did was hook me up to the monitor and make me wait until i had a couple of contractions that met their criteria--they had to be at least 15 seconds long, and elevate the fetal heartrate by at least 15 bpm, i think. Anyway, that took less than an hour (it would have been 20 minutes had she not rolled away from the stupid thing during a really good one, and by the time the nurse came and found her again, i had to wait for the next one), so i was really happy.<br><br>
As the nurse was getting my discharge papers ready (they did it in the "real" OB area of the hospital), she talked to my *wonderful* doc, and he said he wanted an ultrasound done too. The way it was explained to me, the ultrasound was to see how big baby was, how much fluid there was, etc--something i did only a week ago, and technically did again yesterday in the doc's office. Alright, i was a little grumpy, but i knew it wasn't the nurse's fault, so we hung around. What would it hurt, right? Well, after two more hours of waiting, and having time to think, i got really angry, and decided i had had enough of my doc screwing me around, making me do things over and over again for no good reason, and making me wait for an ultrasound (understandably, that machine is used for both women in labor, and those in the ER, so i was naturally, and rightfully, last on the list) that i didn't need--i mean for crying out loud, this would be ultrasound #6, and there is absolutely NOTHING wrong with the baby or me, despite his best efforts to force something on me.<br><br>
i walked out of the examining room to the front desk, and said to anyone who was listening "I've had alot of time to think, and i don't mean to be rude, but the more i think about it, the more i'm convinced that my doctor is completely crazy, and i would like to leave now." Wow, THAT got their attention. The nurse that was farthest away (who i had not even seen before) jumped up and said "let's go have a talk."<br><br>
We had a very long discussion about my treatment thusfar, my doctor's forgetfulness, refusal to listen, and general attitiude that since every test he's tried proves i'm healthy, he has to work that much harder to find something wrong with me. i was really having a moment, my husband was ranting right along beside me, lol, and she was VERY patient and understanding with us. She kept asking what she could do; get the doc on the phone, make him come here and talk with us, set up an appointment so we could go to his office, anything. I said what i REALLY wanted to do was to refuse this last test, sign whatever wavers i had to, be done with it, and hope that when i was in labor, i could say that i didn't have a doctor at all, and hope that mine wasnt the one on call. Yeah, i said alot.<br><br>
She got my papers together, and said that Tom (the nurse-dude who is just as slow, but at least listens better than the doc) was on his way to talk to me--in fact, if he wasn't there in at least 5 minutes, i could go ahead and sign those papers and get out of there (we had explained earlier that we needed to go get our kids). He did come rather quickly, and had the ultrasound tech and machine with him (the poor woman looked like she was being held hostage, lol). Tom seemed oblivious to my breakdown (i guess all the nurse said to him was "come here now" and he complied), and simply started explaining why i was having this ultrasound--to look again and see if the cord was around the baby's neck--WHOA, hold on, what??? That is not what we were told by the nurse from his office on the phone yesterday, or what the nurses there told us. Seeing my unspoken confusion, he went on to explain "well, sometimes they'll check baby's size, the amound of fluid, etc, but you just did that last week, so we want to take a quick peek with the better machine and just see about that cord" OMFG i just had this huge fit with the nurse about how horrible my doc was, how he was setting me up for failure, and though i really do have these feelings, the last straw really added up to a lack of communication between the nurse from the office, and the ones here...i did NOT know what to say. Tom went on "So you had some questions for me?" Ummm....no....not anymore, that really cleared up alot, thanks for coming, lol. The ultrasound took like 20 seconds once the machine was ready (8 minutes to "warm up" lol) It was really obvious to the tech that the cord wasn't even close to the baby's neck, and she was really irritated that Tom kept looking over her shoulder and asking "are you sure...that's not the cord right there???" i loved it, she looked at him like he was a total moron, and kept repeating "yes, i'm very sure, there is no cord on, or even near, the neck" lol.<br><br>
i'm praying that i don't have to endure another office visit...i've never been in a hurry to have a baby, especially this one, but please little girl, don't make mommy sit in a room alone with those crazy people again...you MUST be born before Tuesday...
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,604 Posts
Oh my goodness, lots and lots of <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> and <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/Peace.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Peace"> to you. That's all I can say, you just don't need that kind of stress.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
658 Posts
So sorry mama. You are definetly on the right track (wanting to explore midwifery)-keep up your spirits!!<br><br>
Glad everything's good with baby!! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/heartbeat.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="heartbeat">
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
145 Posts
Oh my goodness! I am so sorry you had to go through all of that. Waiting 2 hrs for a test you NEED is one thing...<br><br>
I'm glad that your doc was proven wrong about the nuchal cord, anyway. Maybe your complaints will get back to him and he will be a little receptive. It's doubtful, but one can hope!<br><br>
(((HUGS))) Hang in there.
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
9,311 Posts
<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/irked.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="irked">: <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/irked.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="irked">: <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/hopmad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hopping mad"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/argue.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="argue">: <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/Cuss.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="cuss"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/Cuss.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="cuss"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hammer.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hammer"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hammer.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hammer"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/banghead.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="banghead"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/banghead.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="banghead"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/censored.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="censored"><br><br>
My it ticks me off the power trips these Dr.s get on! and you are so right...they really really want to find something wrong...remember there is no $$$ in your good health!<br><br>
I am to have a NST on Monday if baby doesn't come and the midwife said "if you want to"...it's not "mandatory"...I said yes but may change my mind. We will see how I feel on Monday.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
539 Posts
Discussion Starter · #7 ·
<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Mom2six</strong></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">And if there had been a cord around the neck?!?!?! A huge % of babies have them~</div>
</td>
</tr></table></div>
Ugh, he has been itching to induce me anyway (the "big baby" non-issue), and said that we would discuss "other options" Gee, i wonder what that means? Argh, anyway, i'm hoping now he'll just swallow his pride and leave me the hell alone, lol.<br><br>
i was alot less mad when i knew why i was there. i really feel like i'm surrounded by idiots sometimes, lol. i forgot to add too, that the nurse who talked to us (and patiently endured my "moment" in there) said she would "Have a long discussion with Christine (the nurse from the doc's office) and Dr. Neimark (my OB) about properly informing their patients as to why they're being sent here" Yay for good nurses!!!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,693 Posts
I'm sure you have considered this, but can you have the baby at home? Or at a hotel close to a medical facility? If it were me, I'd never birth anywhere NEAR the kind of people you are describing. Neither should you! Hell, if you stay home long enough, Baby will "accidentally" be born there, and you'd all be a LOT BETTER OFF. I'm totally serious. It is NOT TOO LATE to change course for this birth. It is never too late. Please think about it seriously!!!!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
7,439 Posts
Michelle, you have had a hell of a time with this OB. Do you have any options to switch providers? Remember that it's not too late to switch until the baby is crowning! I'mnot sure if you have a history that makes it necessary to birth in a hospital, but you might make some calls to local midwives. Even though midwives are business people, most are very commited to making sure women have good, empowered births - and since it's so late in the game, you might find some one willing to attend your birth at a reduced rate or take the bulk of the payment after birth, if money is an issue. Personally, I would NOT feel comfortable going back to a doctor after what you described - not even so much what he has done so far, but what he might do or say if he finds out that you had a meltdown and told the nurses what you thought of him (not that it was out of line AT ALL, but the guy sounds like an a-hole who might try to make you feel really small for questioning him). or, you could just arrange for him to get hit by another car :LOL.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,693 Posts
RyvreWillow, if you could find a doula to help you birth at home, that would certainly add an element of support and possibly medical guidance (depending on the doula.) Better yet, try to get a midwife....and in case of transport being necessary, she could come to the hospital as your "doula" (it's been done before.) God, I just cannot imagine birthing in the unsafe and idiot environment of that doctor---can you say "unneccessary c/s"? It is just not safe to birth with someone like that around! Besides, as soon as he walks into the room your body will probably go into the fight or flight response (mine would!) which would totally inhibit labor anyway. Then you know he'll be wild to induce/cut you....and would you want those people doing interventions to you? Do you think they would do the best and safest possible kind of job? I don't get the impression that the OB is such a skilled doc, and what kind of skill would he have as a surgeon, in a worst case scenario?<br><br>
It gives me the shudders every time I read about that team of scareproviders you describe. In your shoes, I would do everything possible to avoid birthing around those people, in that hospital. It is well known that stress, fear, and all other emotions of that sort will inhibit your labor, increase the pain factor, and make relaxation very difficult if not impossible. Nature wants us to birth in safe environments!! I don't know if there is anything preventing you from birthing at home, but please please consider removing every obstacle---real or perceived---from homebirth. SO MANY women have unplanned homebirths (oops, baby's here!!), and those go so well. And hey, now that you know the cord is not around the neck, LOL, it looks like clear sailing ahead!! Go for it!! Besides, I don't know about you, but it would piss me off royally to have that doctor benefit in any way financially from my birthing, whether it was me or the insurance that paid him! That alone would be enough to make me plan a homebirth if there were no medical counterindications.<br><br>
That OB scares me. He is SCARY. Please seek a safer alternative. Please please please.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,414 Posts
((hugs))<br>
It sounds like they're just looking for something wrong.<br>
Good luck to you, I'm sure everything is fine!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,817 Posts
Argh! Your dr. is such an ass (of course *you* know that!) I'm so sorry that he's that way. I'll be sending you labor vibes, and some peaceful ones as well while I'm at it.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
539 Posts
Discussion Starter · #13 ·
Ooooh how i wish i had a midwife, but at this point, that's probably pretty obvious! The closest ones are 2 1/2 hours away, and will not travel this far. i really don't think i could handle a drive that long--the hour to the hospital is almost unbearable, and if my birth goes anything like many of the others from this DDC, i might not make it anyway, lol.<br><br>
As much as i would love to give homebirth a shot, i'm just not comfortable with it. There's nothing about my history that would indicate it's a bad idea at all, but mentally i don't know that i could do it--my other two were not complicated, but they were very traumatic, and i'm having a hard time just talking myself into trusting my body to do this without meds.<br><br>
As far as finding another doc goes...well, here's the sad part: everyone (including my LLL leader) seems to think this guy is the most natural-birth friendly doc around, and the least likely to do a c-section. Yeah, i live in a place that backwards, that THIS guy is the most "natural" choice.<br><br>
i have thought about going to another hospital (at least then i could say i didn't have a doc, and i'd get whoever was on-call), but the next-closest one is where i gave birth the other two times, and i am DEFINATELY not comfortable there. It's a huge hospital, and though they seem very friendly, it's nearly impossible to get them to bring you your baby without literally banging on the nursery window. And i know, lol. And then too i would run into the possiblilty of having my baby delivered by my old doc--the one whose nurses told me not to push, and let my daughter crown for two hours while she did her rounds down the hall (there wasn't so much as a nurse in the room with me while i waited either).<br><br>
So anyway, i'm in a really crappy place right now. All of the nurses i met yesterday seemed very nice and understanding though, so with any luck my doc will be the kind who waits until the last second to come waltzing in, catch the baby, and go right back out the door. If i only see the guy for 5 minutes, i will be a happy lady, lol.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
145 Posts
Well I think being comfortable with the nurses is way more important than your relationship with the doctor in most hospital births. I will keep my fingers crossed for you that you have awesome, noninterventionist nurses and a short 2nd stage that the doctor misses entirely. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/wink1.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="wink1"> I hope everything goes well for you and you don't have to endure another office visit with dr. whacko.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,146 Posts
<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/soapbox.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="soapbox"> I think that if you are stuck with this hospital and this questionable level of care, you and DH must become mama and papa bears and prepare to fight them tooth and nail. Do not accept anymore ultrasounds, do not accept constant fetal monitoring, do not accept pitocin, and simply say "No, we do not want that" or "No, we do not believe that is necessary." That's not being beligerent or impolite - you are entitled to reject their interventions. You may even print up some articles and when the doctor says "It's been three hours, you aren't progressing, I'd like to induce," you can hand him the papers that show it is unnecessary and tell him that if he can find you studies that show it is necessary, then you'll do it. Tell him you are scientificly minded and will only accept procedures as they are actually medically necessary and that as a doctor he should appreciate that.<br><br>
I know a lot of women believe they cannot stand up to people like this, that they are not good at speaking up, but defending your health and your body are not things that make you "bitchy" or "rude." You do not have to be a victim. You don't even have to raise your voice. Just be firm. "No, thank you." And when they threaten you and say you are endangering the baby, say "Prove it. Show me evidence."<br><br>
About a third of all babies have the cord around their neck when they are born. It's not that hard to unwrap it. The doctor just wanted the insurance money for the ultra sound, I think. Or he's been sued a lot and is starting a paper trail to Cover His Backside. How infuriating!!!
 
1 - 15 of 15 Posts
Top