[DogStar]

at the 6 month check up for my girl, the Dr asked how she was sleeping, which is not much these days, but I think getting better. Dr said she should be sleeping much longer and asked about my routine which is, dressing and diapering for night, then I nurse and bottle her down to sleep, (milk supply low, long story, already in another thread) and sing songs to her and place her in the pack n play to begin with. I left it at that, didnt bother to tell Dr after she wakes up from that she comes into bed with us for the rest of the night. And when she does wake up at night, I nurse her back to sleep, every once in a while it requires another bottle, but usually boob is enough at night.<br><br>
But anyways, she said I need to mix up the routine to get her used to going to sleep without nursing or bottle, to put her down awake, she said to get her attatched to a blankie or a stuffed animal instead of me!<br><br>
We're doing attatchment parenting, and this just seems wrong to me, but I am desperate for some sleep... from what I have read it's still not unusual for her to not sleep long....??<br><br>
Should i just not worry about it and keep doing what we're doing?<br><br>
thanks

 

[sapphire_chan]

OMG, the "put them down awake" BS. If it would work for your dd, you would already know.<br><br><a href="http://www.parentingscience.com/baby-sleep-patterns.html" target="_blank">http://www.parentingscience.com/baby...-patterns.html</a> is an interesting read on why babies sleep (or don't <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngbiggrin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="orange big grin">) the way they do. Particularly this bit:
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<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">Around 6 months of age, your baby’s brain starts to mature in ways that greatly enrich her emotional life (Eliot 1999). She begins to be aware of her own feelings, and she begins to form a strong emotional attachment to her primary caregiver (Eliot 1999). This may explain why many babies that were previously settled at night become more needy. Once your baby starts forming strong attachments, she is more likely to feel separation anxiety. She is more likely to anticipate your departures and protest. And she is more likely to become upset if she awakens and you’re not there.</td>
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Since you aren't getting enough sleep, I have a few questions for you:<br>
can you nurse laying on your side, or do you have to sit up to nurse?<br>
when she needs a bottle in the night, can your dh be the one to give that to her? (you should get at least ONE silver lining out of supply issues)<br>
can your dh take the morning shift? That is, handle changing, dressing, everything but nursing while you get some more shut eye?<br><br>
Unless you have reason to believe that your baby's waking is abnormal and due to a medical problem, which it doesn't sound like to me, what I'd tell the ped about her sleeping is "she sleeps great!"

 

[isabchi]

Sorry that's happed to you!...<br>
You're not doing any wrong. That's the normal sleep behavior for babies at that age. It's important for babies to eat at night, to keep your milk supply.<br><br>
My almost 2 yo. still wakes up to nurse one or twice at night. When I feel over tired, I try to ask my husband to take care of kids on Sunday's morning to cacth up some sleep and clear up a little our schedule for a few days.

 

[DogStar]

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>sapphire_chan</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/15424929"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Since you aren't getting enough sleep, I have a few questions for you:<br>
can you nurse laying on your side, or do you have to sit up to nurse?<br>
when she needs a bottle in the night, can your dh be the one to give that to her? (you should get at least ONE silver lining out of supply issues)<br>
can your dh take the morning shift? That is, handle changing, dressing, everything but nursing while you get some more shut eye?</div>
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I sit up to nurse when I put her to bed, but other wise we 'side-boob' the rest of the night. Biggest issue with that is her very marked preference for lefty, so I tend to sleep on my left side all dang night which does make my body hurt. But it's ok.<br><br>
Yes DH will give her the bottle at night, he's great. And on the weekends he will just get up and take her and let me sleep in, but week days I do it every morning because of our work schedules. I work from 7:30am to 12:30pm and he works from 1:30pm to 10pm, so we dont have to put Rhiannon in daycare. So we hardly see each other during the day, but we have weekends!<br><br>
I have found the past six months to be very similar to the 5 stages of mourning... and I think I am nearing, or at Acceptance, I seem to have found peace with my sleepy state <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"> (even though I really want more rest, LOL)

 

[annettemarie]

You're doing wonderfully. Here's a line I've learned to say to doctors: "Thanks, but I'm actually not looking for parenting advice. I'm comfortable with how we've chosen to do things." <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">

 

[briome]

Certainly APed children can have a lovie, but a lot of the time they don't need them because Mommy is the lovie. Some kids are just not interested in a blankie or a stuffed animal, they just are not!!!- and it's silly to suggest that introducing one will suddenly equal more sleep.<br><br>
ignore his 'suggestion'

 

[Luke's mama]

I am glad to read these comments! That "put them down to sleep" BS really irked me---I remember trying it with son and that always set us back so much and we had to start all over again trying to get him to sleep! Besides, what is all this business about trying to not let kids be dependent on anything or have any attachments--taking away pacis, nursing, bottles, blankies, whatever--I mean, don't we as adults all have our routines that we depend on to go to sleep and things we need to self-soothe, whether it is a hot shower or cup of tea, etc.?<br><br>
Stick to your guns and do what feels right for you!

 

[jessica_s]

I always just answered "he's sleeping just fine" because he was. That didn't mean it was though the night but we were all sleeping and we figured it out. I think when they ask about things like that it's more like "would you like some parenting advice on this subject?" and then give you the boxed answer.<br><br>
I got a child I could handle, he needs a lot of help to sleep, he always has. I have to parent at night and I'm ok with that!

 

[AFWife]

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Luke's mama</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/15425731"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">-I mean, don't we as adults all have our routines that we depend on to go to sleep and things we need to self-soothe, whether it is a hot shower or cup of tea, etc.?</div>
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I'm 23 years old and have no problem admitting that I have to have my sheets pulled up near my face to sleep best...because I used to hold a blankie like that as a child.<br><br>
I hate the "put them down sleepy but awake" line. In the reading I've done on MDC very few children actually go for that. That same line is usually followed with "let them cry a few mins" or something. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/irked.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="irked">

 

[ssh]

Your pediatrician doesn't seem to know anything about normal infant sleep. If you want experts Dr. James Mckenna is the best. Here's his main link <a href="http://www.nd.edu/~jmckenn1/lab/" target="_blank">http://www.nd.edu/~jmckenn1/lab/</a> , and a nice video on the topic <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9ZLonqKKoPY" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9ZLonqKKoPY</a> , and an overview <a href="http://www.naturalchild.org/james_mckenna/babies_need.html" target="_blank">http://www.naturalchild.org/james_mc...bies_need.html</a> .<br><br>
You're doing fine. Don't be alarmed if your DDs sleep becomes more disrupted when teething or approaching new milestones. That's really normal and their sleep improves after the teeth are in or the milestones reached.

 

[akind1]

I think alot depends on the baby - DS is 6 months old today! - he likes to grab at things when he's drowsy, nursing or not, so he has a small lovey to latch on to. (he has tried the grabbing thing with my boob, and it is not pleasant! I'd rather he have some fabric). I don't think there is anything wrong with this, but like I said, it depends on the baby. I never could hold onto anything while I slept, so I never had a lovey or blanket. My sister did though.<br><br>
and sometimes - more often for naps - I do lay DS down drowsy but not completely asleep. He doesn't cry, just flops around until he finds his comfy position and goes to sleep. But not all babies would or will<br><br>
A friend's pedi told her that when her DD (about 6 weeks older than my DS) shouldn't "need" to eat in the middle of the night, to let her cry through that waking, it broke my heart. how can you do that? granted, the baby might not need a full feeding, just a little snack, or a cuddle, but how can you deny the baby that? He told her to do this around 4 months old I think. Thankfully she didn't really follow his advice and dreamfed her baby to avoid the waking at 2 am until her DD slept through the night without waking. I am glad I do not use her pedi! some doctors are just clueless! and give bad info to boot

 

[~Charlie's~Angel~]

Even before I knew what AP was, when I would read that "put them in their crib awake but drowsy", I would scratch my head. And my older son is a fantastic sleeper! I couldnt nurse with him past 4 months, he had a bottle to fall asleep til he was about 18 months! My younger one still does.<br><br>
I think your doing fine, just nod at your ped and move on. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/winky.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Wink">

 

[blizzard_babe]

Hmm, I disagree with the "put them down awake" advice. Well, maybe "disagree" is too strong a word. We could never get it to work without DS crying, and since we don't do CIO, that was the end of that. If you've got the kid of kid who can coo/play herself to sleep, I say go for it. Just never worked for us.<br><br>
As for the introducing different go-to-sleep methods... this one I kind of agree with. Or, I agree with TRYING, anyway, because you never know. DS, who was quite the boobie-monster, reached a point at around 18 months where he just couldn't nurse to sleep anymore. It was just too exciting and fun. So then we kind of had to start over and figure out how the heck to get him to sleep. So, I say try other things, see if they work. Go for a walk, dance gently in a dark room to soothing music, bounce on an exercise ball, etc. If it works, great. If not... the nursies/bottle are always there <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/thumb.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="thumbs up">.<br><br>
All this makes me glad that DS gets his childcare in rural Alaska. Health care professionals have much, much bigger fish to fry (kool-aid in baby bottles, for example) that I have never once, in DS's two years of well-baby visits, been asked about sleep. Well, one time a nurse practitioner asked me if *I* was sleeping enough because I yawned during DS's check-up. But that was more a "How ya doin', new mama" kind of thing <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol">.

 

[SaoirseC]

Let the doc give you medical advice, leave the parenting advice to others!! Pediatricians are given some boxed advice about infant and child behavior, they don't necessarily have the experience to back it up. And even if they did, why would their experience be any more "right" than your own?

 

[Climbergirl]

Putting him down awake worked for us from 3 months to 4 months. That's it. After that, he started getting some teeth and then it never came back. At 2.5, we still lay down next to him until he is asleep.<br><br>
You just figure out what works for your kid. Not the "average" kid that pedi's dream up in their heads (and they really do, FIL is one and it is amazing what they are "supposed" to do that NONE of his kids did!).

 

[Violet2]

I would see if you can get a lovie going just because from all the posts I've read here about sleep and nursing etc... lovies come in really handy later on.<br><br>
So if your babe is willing, try to get the lovie going--and buy two so you have a backup.<br><br>
Other than that, I don't think your ped is terribly familiar with breastfed babies. Boobie babies don't really sttn. Something like 66% are up at night.<br><br>
V

 

[soso-lynn]

I would have asked where exactly in their MEDICAL training did they learn about that? I find it incredibly mesed up that pediatricians get to pretend like they are parenting or behavioral experts. They know how to diagnose and treat medical issues, that's their job.

 

[One_Girl]

I think that nighttime parenting advice is a shady area that can be medically related but the issue of whether your child cuddles with you or a lovey at night really isn't medically relevant. I don't think you should worry about what the way she is sleeping unless it isn't working for you. Lovies can be very nice for nap time and for having time to yourself later on though, so if you think you may want her to cuddle a lovey then I don't think you should feel bad about that either.

 

[Kiwiontheloose]

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>DogStar</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/15425531"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I sit up to nurse when I put her to bed, but other wise we 'side-boob' the rest of the night. Biggest issue with that is her very marked preference for lefty, so I tend to sleep on my left side all dang night which does make my body hurt. But it's ok.</div>
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Just a thought - I have recently mastered the art of feeding from either boob while lying on the same side (I never would have believed it possible - but tried it and it worked!) You kind of have to roll forwards a bit so the "top" boob is at their level. So could you switch to your right side for comforts sake, but still feed her the left boob??

 

[mistymama]

You've gotten great advise here - ignore that Dr., do what feels right for you and your LO.<br><br>
As the Mama of an older child (7, going on 8) and getting ready to have another one, I'll share my perspective. They only need to be parented to sleep and at night for a very short period of time .. sure it does not seem like it when you are tired and right in the middle of it, but trust me, it actually is a small window of time. When you have a big kid who does not even want you to tuck them in anymore, you'll look back on your nights snuggled together with such fond memories. I promise, you will!<br><br>
It also seems like everyone is just filled with sleep advise when you have a young baby. With my ds, I listened to them, sometimes worried if I was setting myself up for problems with him by following my instincts, but always did what felt right for us. And guess what? He turned out to be a pretty good sleeper eventually and even went into his own bed, own room before the age of 3. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/wink1.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="wink1"><br><br>
This time around I can't wait to just tell everyone I've got it covered and not listen to a word they say. I plan to snuggle and parent this one to sleep and cherish every moment of it. Because trust me, you'll miss it once they get big.<br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> Keep following your instincts Mama, you are doing a great job!