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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I absolutely positively hate the weekends when my daughter goes to her father's house. My house seems so empty, and I just run around like a maniac trying to fill the empty time and space. I try to tell myself that it's good to have time alone, I can get things done easier without her, blah, blah blah (you know the routine). But the truth is, I enjoy doing things so much more when she is here to share them with me.
Case in point- Thursday afternoon we were running errands and she saw a blue watertower. We went out of our way to drive over to it and stopped and got out so she could see the hugeness of it as related to everything around it. It was a great moment. And I know she has now spent the weekend with her father, staying in his dark, dingy house, doing nothing, getting no stimulation at all. And after living with him, I know this is his routine.
On top of that, she will come back filthy because he doesn't bather her while she is at his house. And I can't call her because she is only 2.5 and doesn't understand why mommy can't just come and get her.
Luckily, I have less than 12 hours until she is back home again. But boy, will the time creep by.
I had thought I would eventually get used to her being gone and learn to relish the time, but it seems it just gets harder every time. And, I must admit, I am looking forward to the day when she calls her dad and says she doesn't want to go to his hellhole of a home...
Sorry to be so depressing, but it's not quite 7 a.m. here, and I am already out of busywork for the day, so I thought I'd share my wonderful, depressing mood with you!!
 

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I'll share your mood with you! I have trouble with it too. My ex is great with Maddy and she really looks forward to being with him, but that only makes it a little bit easier. I'm still lonely and bored lol. I take lots of baths and read. And shop lol. So I'm off to the mall! I hope your day improves!

Leah
 

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It is hard to adjust to being without the kids.
I find it is easier if I plan things before they go, so that way I am busy. Even if I plan things like, take a bath, read a book, etc. I try to do things just for myself and leave things like housework until the kids are back. It still sucks sometimes.
The good thing is that your little one will be home soon.
Take care ~ L.J.
 

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I posted almost the same thing a couple of weeks ago! I hated seeing them drive away... but the next weekend it got easier, and then this week I actually tried to enjoy my time and get stuff done while they were gone. It worked! Just like everyone here told me, it *is* getting easier. My kids don't go on overnites yet, and I don't know how on earth that will be on me when they do.... but I know I'll get throught it with you all's help


Don't worry Mamma.. she'll be in your arms before you know it!
 

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I feel your pain
! When my kiddos are with stbx, I am just miserable. It is sooo quiet. You can only clean so much, as I'm sure you have found out
. I'm broke on top of that, so I can't really do much but stay home and wait for the minutes to tick by.

Just think about doing the happy dance when she gets home
!
 

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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
Thanks for the support- I knew you all would understand.
I went to spend the day at my mother's house (within sight distance of my own home), and that's where he returned my daughter. I didn't even see him, as he came slinking in and out like the hyena he is.
As soon as I saw Little Miss, I knew why he avoided me. She was FILTHY!!
Food encrusted on her clothes, dirt covering her feet and legs, hair not brushed for a couple of days ... but, he was very proud when he told my mom Little Miss had clean clothes in a bag. Why the hell didn't he put the clean ones on her then?
:
Oh-and to top it all off, his gf, who I have never met and whose existence he denies, had put orange glitter whore nail polish on Little Miss' toes. You would think if the stupid wench was gonna play mama to my little girl, she would at least wash the dirt off of her before she sent her back home.
Once again I have spent too much energy hating him (and his gf by association), but I have a whole 2 weeks before I go through it again.
Do you think it's bad to wish harmful things upon him?
 

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I went through this too. I did all the suggested things..took a bath, took time for me,etc. and it helped.

Now, after over a year of doing this, I do enjoy my time alone. I miss them, please understand that, but parenting alone is HARD WORK. Even though my ex did not do much when he was here, I still noticed a difference when I am the only one to cook, clean, do laundry, check homework, drive the kids everywhere, and still find time for my own needs. The weekend gives me that time. It helps me renew myself for the week, and it makes me a better mother. But I do miss the laughter and fun they bring. Weekends can be pretty quiet.

It also made their dad into a real dad. He now has to parent. He now knows how much work it really is, because he has to be hands on doing it. He does rely on his mom alot to help, but he still has to do more than he ever did when he was here.
 

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just wanted to sent my support and commiseration. my girlie is only doing 3 X a week visits, and no overnights yet (and hopefully not until she's at least two, she's 14 mo. now). but if I don't have a busy intinerary for myself I get a little melancholy. I worry also, as you do, about the care he's giving her. so, just know you're definitely not alone.

-lau
 

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I feel for you
. I have the hardest time handing my kids off to their dad, but at least it's not overnight! I would be livid if they were returned to me in the condition you describe. It sounds downright neglectful, to be honest - is there someone (i.e. attorney) you can talk to about this situation?

OT: What ever happened with the state senator at the meeting you attended, Waterproof? Inquiring minds want to know
.
 
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