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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
My dh works as a director of a program at a private college. He makes pretty good money (enough for me to stay home full time). But he is pretty unhappy most of the time. It makes me sad for him. His first love is music and this job, plus school is pretty much keeping him from this. I try to encourage him to get together with some other guys (or women for that matter) who want to be in a band and play local weekend stuff, but he just says no and is sad. I don't know what to do to make him happy.<br>
We both want me to be home full time. He won't do anything to sacrifice that. (Which I am totally happy about) I am open to him finding another job where he doesn't need to go back to school full time, and that when he leaves work he actually leaves it. I can tighten the belt and make things work. I am actually working on a way that we can grow most of our food and reuse water and decrease our energy use. I am sure if he could "hold out" for a year we would be doing great.<br>
Right now he is singing old rock songs about being in bands <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"> and being pretty sappy. My poor man! Even at dinner tonight he told the kids to never let go of their dreams even if it mean struggling. I feel so guilty. Like our life sucks to him. I know that isn't true, and really his job is way more overwhelming then he thought. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/mecry.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="crying"><br>
I feel bad for him. It is worse because I am so happy with how things are. And how we are moving in our lives. I couldn't ask for a better life. And yet my man is depressed.<br><br>
H
 

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Couldn't pass by without posting, not that I have anything to say <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"> It's hard when someone we love is sad... my DH loves music, too, and always wanted to be a musician. Actually, he IS a musician... just doesn't have time to play, due to work, mostly.<br><br>
I loved your blog. Your children are beautiful, and I love the paintings in your house! Its very inspiring. I'd love to do something like that with our kitchen cabinets.
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
Thanks. I love having a blog!<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"><br><br>
My husband loves music, but he just doesn't have enough time in a day to play. He might get 1-2 hours a week of play time. He would love 1-2 hours a day. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"> I am sure it will get better. He is in a new job (he got a promotion) and it is really tough. But I think has he gets into it more, it will become less stressful. I just want to take the stress away and give him what he wants.<br><br>
H
 

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Hi! This probably won't help you, either, but I'm pretty much in the same boat. My DH makes good money, too, at a job he alternately loves and hates. He is clinically depressed and on meds, and getting better.<br><br>
But I know his job is not really what he'd want to do if given the choice. I am a sahm to our twin girls and have been for 4.5 years, all because of him staying at his job! I am so lucky and honored that he'd do that for us.<br><br>
Not only that, but I am currently going to school to become a holistic health counselor, which is my passion! So, when I've got my practice up and running, I'm going to offer him a chance to change his job if he wishes, and to do something he loves, too. Or he can stay at home while I make the money! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/winky.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Wink"><br><br>
I know how you feel; it is sad to see someone we love not happy. I just hope someday my husband can be truly happy, and I hope to help with that.
 
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