[Shaunam]

She is 9 weeks pregnant with her first and both her and her DH are dead-set on circ'ing if it's a boy. She actually said she thought it was "sick" not to do it. I did feel this was kind of rude since she knows we are not going to do it, so I flat out told her that I was dead-set against it and started to tell her the reasons why.

She said she didn't want to know anything and she didn't want me to send her anything about it! She knows there is info out there that may change her mind, but because her DH will not change his mind, she would rather not know about all that stuff!

I do not want to overstep my boundries and send stuff anyways, but I do want to do SOMETHING.

Tell me what you think....

I will ask her if I can at least send her some info on pain relief and circumcision care. I will send it but slip in a little more info. For example, WHY the pain relief is needed and how it is not 100% effective. And for the circ care, I could make sure to highlight the part about how to handle adhesions and the many other bad things that can happen.

Any other ideas of what I can put in there that may help change her mind without breaking my promise???

 

[vanilla]

I'm sorry to hear that. It is always hard to hear that a loved one is making decisions that you are very much against. I think your idea may be good, but if you pursue it further it sounds like it could really hurt your relationship with your sis and make you a stench to her dh, KWIM? I don't know that there's any easy answer, but don't do anything that will make her never want to talk to you about anything for the rest of her pregnancy. You may be able to "win her over" in some way in the next 7 months, but only if she respects your opinion, which is really hard in a strained relationship. I hope that helps in some way, I've been in similar situations and it's hard not to just react and mail them books!

 

[Quirky]

That just sucks! But you do have time to try to change their minds.

I would send them the AAP and AMA statements on circing that say pain relief is absolutely necessary. You can find those at www.cirp.org

You can also try sending her the "care of the circumcised penis" pamphlet from www.nocirc.org - maybe that might get through to her what the issues are.

 

[Evergreen]

Hope for a girl.

I always give pg mamas a copy of Dr. P Fleiss' What your Doctor Might Not Tell You About Circumcision whether or not they chose to read it is up to them.

 

[homebirthing]

I told my sister that I would just have to take the baby away from her! I would e-mail and send her things. She can be pissed, but don't give up. It isn't for her that you are trying. BIG HUGS!!!! This sucks.

 

[livviesmommy]

I'm there with you! I sent my sister AND BIL a ton of info on how horrible circ'ing is - but I think they just deleted it, b/c they still circ'd. My BIL is very macho and redreck, so I didn't really think it would change their minds; but like you said, I couldn't not do anything. And they know that I didn't circ my DS who's had no problems and his penis doesn't look "gross". My sister only bf for 4 wks too

so we just don't discuss parenting stuff. She knows my views. All you can do is educate them and hope for the best! You can't make someone want to do what is best for their child, they have to make that decision on their own.

Or, like Evergreen said, hope really hard for a girl!!!

 

[KellyB]

I'm thinking you should print out some pictures to just sort of sneak up on her with...
Something like this:
http://sexuallymutilatedchild.org/1b-exp.htm
Along with some printed info from completely reliable sources about how it isn't necessary.
Maybe the pics should be phase 2...?
Hmm...and if that doesn't work, maybe catch her when she isn't expecting and play a video.
This might cause a problem between the 2 of you, but really, your relationship will heal over time....a missing mutilated penis won't.
What's the biggest priority?