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Ugh. I went to my friends little boy's birthday party on the weekend, and my son took his baby with him . He's got this baby that he just loves and takes with him everywhere. Now, I am the type that would stick with blue for boys, pink for girls, and that kind of thing, but really I dont think any of that actually matters. I think if my son likes pink and wants to wear it, well who really cares, you know? if he wants a baby, who cares? men have babies too, its not even something that I would ever consider "gender specific" by any stretch. Anyhow, I went to this party, and my friend immediately was like "um, why does he have a baby?" I said "he likes babies" and her husbad was like "he's gonna be gay you know."<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/eyesroll.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="roll"> Now, not that it makes any difference to me whether he's ends up being gay or not, I could care less about that, but just the fact that people actually think that a little boy carrying a baby is "weird" or will "make him gay" is just totally crazy to me. I just can't believe that people still think that way, and even that people say "he's gonna be gay" as if that would be such a horrible thing. Anyhow, just a rant, it annoys me.
 

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Man, that was rude to say on so many levels. I probably would have just said, "maybe so" and left it at that. My son is 7 and likes to play with babies too. He was the only boy at the American Girl store with his own dolls, and he was pretty upset that they didn't have matching boy outfits for him.
 

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same thing with my son getting "girly" stuff in the pass the parcel a a children's party and being happy with it. Other boy's reactions to getting the pink, sparkly stuff ranged from disappointment, tears and sulking right the way through to outrage and temper tantrums--- I was really shocked at how strong the gender conditioning is from such a young age <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"><br><br>
My son also got people questioning and making sarcastic comments about his pink bracelet. They went over his head as he's three years old but it did make me wonder how I could help him handle it when he is older if the need should arise.<br><br>
I agree with the pp about the comments being incredibly rude, it scares me that people think comments like that are acceptable. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"><br><br>
Zoe, mama to Thomas 1/06
 

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Well, you could just ignore them. Or you could make a few witty comments that will make them think. For the doll thing, personally I like, "Huh...I was under the impression that most little boys grew up to be fathers and loving children wasn't something only women could do. Maybe I've been lucky to only have been exposed to GOOD fathers."<br><br>
About the whole "gay" thing...that really ticks me off. It's just an ignorant opinion that gay is a choice and a lifestyle that can be altered by experience. You can't "turn" a child gay, any more than you can turn a gay person straight. Complete ridiculousness.<br><br>
But for the "gay" comments (we get that a lot), I just let people know that I wouldn't be at all disappointed if my son were gay so if they meant that as a warning, they are wasting their breath. My best response to "he's gonna be gay" is "Really!? You think? Wow, it'll be like having a little built in shopping partner!" Once they realize you think gay is a GOOD thing, they shut up. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"><br><br>
(and of course, I realize that is a stereotype but for homophobes I don't think a little excitement over stereotypes is a bad thing....it shows them that you don't think any perceived "gay" traits are bad)
 

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It winds me up. DS loves pink. He has a little pink rabbit toy he takes everywhere with him. I swear, if i got a penny every time someone made a negative comment about it, Christmas would be easier this year!<br><br>
For the most part, i ignore comments, but my brother was not so passive when I visited my family.<br>
Sister: OH MY GOSH! Your son is wearing a necklace!<br>
Me: Yes, he is.<br>
Sister: BUT HE'S A BOY.<br>
Brother: (mocking my sister) QUICK! GET THAT NECKLACE AWAY FROM HIM OR HIS PENIS WILL FALL OFF!<br><br>
.. Maybe you had to be there, but it had me in hysterics.
 

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At thanksgiving my DH's cousin's son who is about 18 months has a little doll with a blanket attached very common. This one is rather feminine but the LO calls it his guy and is so cute running around going GUY GUY GUY looking for his guy...I'm sure someone would think that is weird but it just plain cute. He also took a serious liking to DD's pink satin edged blankie and so now his mom is off trying to find the exact same one, we would have given it to her but DD loves it too!
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>mrspineau</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/14736450"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">"um, why does he have a baby?" I said "he likes babies" and her husbad was like "he's gonna be gay you know."<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/eyesroll.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="roll"></div>
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Because straight men don't like babies? Wow Dh and I have to have a LONG talk...
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>dakotablue</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/14736546"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Because straight men don't like babies? Wow Dh and I have to have a LONG talk...</div>
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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngbiggrin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="orange big grin"> Exactly! I'll have to persuade my very virile DH to finally come out of the closet!<br><br>
So, only gay men have an interest in babies and then presumably grow up to be good fathers? If that were a fact it would be a sad one for us married women.
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/irked.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="irked"> How irritating.
 

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well i think its an honour that your friend made those comments. i am sure she believes in the gay philosophy and said it out of concern for you and your boy.<br><br>
but it is shocking isnt it when you meet someone who really believes in that. esp. a friend.<br><br>
for me its usually the chance to share my own philosophy. it might make them think and reconsider.<br><br>
i have seen fathers struggle to see their son in pink. not because of gay but because pink is feminine. that's when i make the comment wish more men wore pink. it looks really sexy on some of them.<br><br>
thru a playgroup i heard of a father who would take out the pink and purple crayon from his son's art supplies.<br><br>
i think if we look back through time werent there wooden dolls made for boys too? maybe they were soldiers.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>mrspineau</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/14736450"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I just can't believe that people still think that way, and even that people say "he's gonna be gay" as if that would be such a horrible thing. Anyhow, just a rant, it annoys me.</div>
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Some people just don't 'filter' their thoughts before speaking.<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/irked.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="irked"><br><br>
My boys have dolls. My now-exH threw one away when I bought it for my son. So I kicked him out and bought a new doll. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngtongue.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Stick Out Tongue">
 

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I've heard that so many times. Especially since my son has long hair and loves his toenails painted.<br><br>
People are stupid. If they honestly think a little boy playing with a baby will make him gay, then I wouldn't be listening to them anyways.
 

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I don't have any boys but if you think about it, wouldn't like 90% of the male population be gay if all it took was playing with a doll, wearing a pink shirt or necklace or bracelet, or even coloring with purple or pink crayons to make them gay? It is so stupid and such a double standard that it's good for girls to be tomboyish but wrong for a boy to like "girl" stuff. It's all a bunch of bs imo. Kids like what they like, and nothing turns you gay.<br><br>
Edited to add: I guess my youngest dd is gay now because she likes to play with cars and trains, and her favorite color is green and she loves frogs. Combine that with her Peppermint Patty voice and by god, she's gay!
 

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My son didn't have a doll, but he had a baby. He wrapped it in blankets, gave it a bottle, nursed it, and pushed it around in a pink and blue toy shopping cart. He even carried it in a sling. It was a 14 inch tall hard plastic T-rex toy, but it was his baby.<br><br>
Now, he's seven and he LOVES real babies. He's a very nurturing and loving kid.<br>
He spent the weekend holding his new baby cousin on his lap. When he was younger, I dealt with the comments when he played with his cousin's babies, or dressed up in her clothes, by saying, "He's very secure in his masculinity. He doesn't need to conform to stereotypes." I said with a laugh, but it shut most people down, especially if you can manage to imply that they aren't too secure if they need to question the sexuality of a three year old.
 

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I probably would have made some comment about children mimicing adult snad learning through play. Then I would have commented that I was so glad my grandchildren were going to have a good daddy.<br><br>
For the record, all of my children (2 boys and a girl so far) have dolls that I made them. When my 7 year old was younger, if you had asked him what he wanted to be when he grew up, he would have said "a daddy." My almost 2 1/2 year old son frequently wears one of his babies around (along with an apron and sword....cause it's important to be prepared when taking care of babies <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/love.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="love">).
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>SarahElizabeth</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/14736494"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">It winds me up. DS loves pink. He has a little pink rabbit toy he takes everywhere with him. I swear, if i got a penny every time someone made a negative comment about it, Christmas would be easier this year!<br><br>
For the most part, i ignore comments, but my brother was not so passive when I visited my family.<br>
Sister: OH MY GOSH! Your son is wearing a necklace!<br>
Me: Yes, he is.<br>
Sister: BUT HE'S A BOY.<br>
Brother: (mocking my sister) QUICK! GET THAT NECKLACE AWAY FROM HIM OR HIS PENIS WILL FALL OFF!<br><br>
.. Maybe you had to be there, but it had me in hysterics.</div>
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I love it! I have both a girl and a boy, and have no issues whatsoever with my kids playing with whatever toys they want to. DS just does not show much interest in baby dolls like DD does, but he does sometimes play My Little Ponies with her. His ponies are usually crashing into hers or knocking hers over rather than lining up for school or having a birthday party like hers, but hey, they play together! DS has OT or PT every week, and sometimes we see some little boys there (brothers) who have their baby dolls they bring everywhere; the mom said one of them used to be her doll. I just think that is so sweet! I say let kids be kids and play with what they want as long as they are having fun and not hurting others (which is why I limit stick and sword play). <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/love.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="love">
 

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Both of my "older" boys, now 12 and 10, had baby dolls and little toy strollers as toddlers/preschoolers. They wanted them because they were mimicking their daddy, who pushes strollers and carries babies just as often as their mommy does.<br><br>
When my current youngest son was born, my eldest would pick him up and carry him around if we had put the baby down while awake.... he was 8 or 9 at the time. Even at 12, he still enjoys babies, but otherwise is all boy.
 

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<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>mrspineau</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/14736450"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Ugh. I went to my friends little boy's birthday party on the weekend, and my son took his baby with him . He's got this baby that he just loves and takes with him everywhere. Now, I am the type that would stick with blue for boys, pink for girls, and that kind of thing, but really I dont think any of that actually matters. I think if my son likes pink and wants to wear it, well who really cares, you know? if he wants a baby, who cares? men have babies too, its not even something that I would ever consider "gender specific" by any stretch. Anyhow, I went to this party, and my friend immediately was like "um, why does he have a baby?" I said "he likes babies" and her husbad was like "he's gonna be gay you know."<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/eyesroll.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="roll"> Now, not that it makes any difference to me whether he's ends up being gay or not, I could care less about that, but just the fact that people actually think that a little boy carrying a baby is "weird" or will "make him gay" is just totally crazy to me. I just can't believe that people still think that way, and even that people say "he's gonna be gay" as if that would be such a horrible thing. Anyhow, just a rant, it annoys me.</div>
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I totally agree with you that it shows the rude commenter's a) homophobia and b) sexism, but I have to admit my response would be (even though it feeds a little into the homophobia) I would say "Um, you might wanna check your own manhood because if a boy with a baby threatens your manhood, it's not as strong as you think it is!" <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngbiggrin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="orange big grin"><br><br>
If you won't say that, how bout"We need more boys who love babies in the world and see caring for them as their responsibility too! How can that be a bad thing with all the deadbeat dads around?"
 

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My son also likes babydolls and walking around with a little toystroller and he nurses the baby too. However he has a older sister, so everyone assumes he just want to copy her. I am a female engineer and are a bit sensitive to the gender division for interests. So I try to be as neutral as possible, for example my son does wear pink if he wants to. And my daughter has boy-underwear because she wanted Diego on her underwear instead of Dora. But it is quite hard to stay neutral, my kids are now only 2 and 4, so I fear it might only get harder.<br><br>
Carma
 
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