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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
He's 17. He has lived with me up until January 1 of this year when he went to live with his pretty much absent father. He had just been here visiting for about 3 weeks. My dh (his stepfather) drove him home yesterday 4 1/2 hours one way because no one there could meet us halfway after driving the same distance to bring him here. Before my dh had even gotten home from dropping ds off, ds called and asked if we could come and get him next weekend. I was in the process of getting things worked out to move him back here when he called tonight to say the police had come and arrested his father. Apparently, there was a warrant for his arrest. We knew he was facing prison time and was supposed to go to court for sentencing on September 15th.

My dh, being the amazing and wonderful man that he is, decided that he needed to drive up there to get ds tonight. He had already worked all day today. He'll be driving all night. Probably get home around 4 am, which is only an hour before he usually gets up to go to work in the morning. So, he'll be getting no sleep for two days. He said it's no big deal. It's like pulling duty.

I'm just so happy ds is coming home. Everyone told me that he would come back home eventually but I didn't believe it. I was afraid he'd adopt his father's life of crime and antisocial behavior. Instead, I think he's discovered that his dad's life isn't as fun as it seemed and he wants more for himself.
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: I'm so glad to hear that your son is coming home. I followed your posts about your DH and son months ago. It sounds like a very positive resolution. You were a very strong mama to let him go
I'm glad he's coming home to you
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
Thanks so much. I'm surprised anyone remembers. I stopped posting on here soon after ds moved. I am just so shocked that this has happened. I was so afraid he'd want to stay with his dad and live that lifestyle. It's wonderful to witness him coming to the realization that his life can be better than that and he deserves it.
 

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:!! Yay! How wonderful for all of you. And what a great tribute to your parenting style...that you let him come to this very adult decision in his own way.

What a beautiful partner you have, as well.


love, penelope
 

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: I know how much you want him home with you, youve been waiting since the day he left for him to move back in. I totally remember mama.((HUGS)) I am so happy for you!!
 

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I didn't see any of your previous posts, but I've got to say, you are one brave, wonderful mom to let him make that decision, and possible mistake, for himself. I'm in awe.
 

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Discussion Starter · #11 ·
Thanks everyone. I am so happy he is home. Now I just have to keep myself from completely spoiling him rotten!
I want to give him everything. I want to do everything for him.


My dp is the best, too. He never ceases to amaze me.
 

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Discussion Starter · #15 ·
Yeah, talk about bad modeling. Apparently, the X and his father smoked MJ with my ds a lot. It has now become a habit for ds. I have to figure what, if anything, to do about that. We talk openly about it. He knows I don't like it.
 

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I remember you posting about this, mama.
I'm so glad that you have him back. Hope you can get the MJ thing worked out ... we've been dealing with that here, too.
 

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Discussion Starter · #18 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by spero View Post
Hope you can get the MJ thing worked out ... we've been dealing with that here, too.
What, if anything, have you done about it? My ds will be 18 in March so I can't really make him stop. I haven't seen any negative addiction type behavior so I'm not comfortable with doing an intervention or trying to send him somewhere for treatment. I also don't really feel that MJ is in the same category addiction wise as cocaine or heroin or meth. My main concern is really just that it's illegal and I don't want him to get arrested.

I know there are people on here who will say that smoking MJ is not a bad thing. It does not lead to a dead end life or other criminal behavior. I've never known anyone who used MJ on a regular basis and wasn't essentially a bum. All the people I know of who used it regularly couldn't get a decent job and couldn't hold any job for long, didn't work regularly, didn't finish their educations.
 

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My DS will be 18 next month and starting college in another week... but as long as he's living here it's our rules and that means no MJ.

I treated it as a curious experimentation (which I hope it was) but DH was really hard on him when we caught him (twice). Unfortunately, it's been the source of a lot of tension in our family this year. I've talked very openly with DS but I'm not convinced he's been totally honest with me.
 

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Discussion Starter · #20 ·
Yeah, my ds knows under no uncertain terms that it's not allowed in the house. I don't search him or his room, though. I can't control what he does when he's out. At least he doesn't have any steady money right now so he can't buy it all the time. Once he gets a job that may be a different story. A lot of the businesses around here do drug testing so maybe that will keep him from doing it. Or, it will just keep him from getting a job.


Unfortunately, because of his dad's and grandad's influence, I'm afraid my ds' use has become more than just experimentation. I mean, really! What kind of grandparent uses illegal drugs with his underage grandchild? That just astounds me.

Forgot to say, my dh is much more harsh about it than I am, too.
 
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