[Brookesmom]

Somewhat since we told her mommy was having a baby and especially since our ultrasound on Monday, DD who is 33 months old has started acting baby-like again.

She peed on the couch about 3 times- She's been using the potty for months and only wears pullups on outings. She has also been wanting to nurse a lot and asked for baby food a couple times (she never really liked babyfood even as a 1 year old!) She also has been whining more.

It seems like I've seen articles on this in parenting mags in the past but didn't pay attention. Does anyone have advice on how to handle her behavior? Or should I just let her grow out of it... I started putting pullups on her around the house. She used to protest saying "I'm a big girl" but now she happily wears them.

She still has a good 6 months to be an only child so hopefully with some TLC she will feel secure enough to be the big sister once the baby arrives. Any advice or commiseration would be appreciated though.

--Kelly

 

[MrsMoe]

I know in the past when our daughter starting going pee pee in her pants, it was due to emotional stress. Lots of it was bed wetting, but sometiems she would pee when playing etc. As is when she gets whiney. There were serious emotional reasons as to why she was doing this.

I am pretty sure your little one is afraid of the new baby, maybe she thinks you won't want or need her anymore, etc.

My Emma was funny at first. Finally, one day while she and I were talking she admitted she was scared when teh baby came we wouldn't love her anymore. It took a while of positive thinking and making her feel special and wanted, but now she is excited to be a big sister. My daughter is 7 years old, but very very sensitive.

 

[BensMom]

Oh yes! And I cannot find any info about regressing during pregnancy. All of the articles I can find deal with regression after the new baby comes.

In April, my son started hitting all the time. This is how he used to act when he was 2.

Then in May, he stoppped talking.

And in June, he stopped walking!

Now, my son is autistic, so there is a little more going on, but everyone seems to think it has to do with the new baby on the way. We finally worked through the walking, he is improving on the hitting and we are hoping to make some headway on the talking this week.

He says he is happy about the baby coming, but every now and then he hits my belly. I just try to tell him often how he is my #1 guy and how much mama loves him. And how much the baby is going to love him. And how he can teach the baby ABCs and they will be able to play games together.

Good luck. Its frustrating, but from what I understand, the best thing to do is not to emphasize "big boy/girl" but to emphasize what they *can* do because they are older.

 

[lucyem]

I have been told regression is normal when new siblings are on the way/arrive. But that eventually they go away when life settles down. We were told by our nurse practitioner and mother of four that the best time to have a second is right away or after at least 3 years. My son just turned 3 and is pretty independent. He so far has been excited about his "new baby brother" but is getting frustrated because I cannot pick him up. He is getting more clingy with me. Now he calls me more then daddy at night and gets more concerned when I go out. We have made a few changes for him to keep his life more stable. The babysitter was going to leave the same month baby is due but we convinced her to stay until next spring. Also preschool was going to be started in Sept but we do not want him to feel like we are sending him off right when the baby arrives at the end of August, so that has been put off.

 

[Brookesmom]

Thanks for the replies everyone. What you're saying makes sense. I'll keep reminding her she's my girl and I love her and not emphasize "big girl".

Lucyem, I had heard about the 3 years apart studies and she'll be almost 3 1/2 when the baby arrives, so I think that will really help too in our case.

I think I'll try not to talk much about the baby the next few months and gradually start reading her the book I bought called "Mommy's Having A Baby".

 

[nancy926]

I guess I am not sure that talking LESS about the baby will help. The baby's going to come either way, yk? I'm not saying to talk about it every day, multiple times a day, but don't pretend it's not happening.

I am bracing myself for whatever might happen with DD when our baby comes...so far I haven't noticed anything that I'm sure is about the baby (and not just her being 2 years old, lol). She talks about the baby and how she'll be able to hold it after it comes out, and how it might cry, etc. Just this morning she said something that made it clear she thought the baby would be able to talk right after being born! So I tried to explain that babies can't talk for awhile, and that's why they cry when they need something, etc.

anyway...just some semirandom thoughts. We have Baby on the Way by Dr. and Martha Sears, and it seems like a pretty good "getting ready" book.

 

[ewe+lamb]

Our DD is the same age as yours and I am expecting at the end of July, we found that buying her a baby has really helped - ie a doll, she changes it's nappies, gives it num nums, carries it in a sling etc the same was that I looked after her when she was a baby - we didn't have a doll before for her to play with and this has made a lot of sense in her life I think. She asks to sing and talk to the baby so it maybe something that you would like to try, also we go to LLL baby meetings and she sees lots of babies there and loves to kiss them and hold their hands so something like that may help as well. She is regressing but it's slight at the moment - we have also decided not to send her to school this year as we don't want her thinking that we're sending her away, we haven't had the pp thing so don't know what to say about that really, dd nuzzles into my breasts now and then and I am fairly sure that when the baby does arrive she's going to ask to nurse - so I think I am fairly decided on letting her try and see how things go. Nothing else but a big

to you and I'm sure in the long run things will sort themselves out.