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OK, not to be age-ist or anything, but these little old ladies are p*&^ing me off! All these, ahem, mature women, at my church particularly, keep gawking at me in awe of how HUGE I am and suggesting that it MUST BE twins in there! They were NEVER that big with THIER babies!! I really want to scream at them "you are 80 flipping years old, YOU DON'T REMEMBER HOW STINKING BIG YOU WERE!! LAY OFF AND SAY SOMETHING NICE!!"<br><br>
I have gained 25 pounds at 32 weeks. NORMAL<br>
I measured 32 cm at 32 weeks. NORMAL<br>
I am short and short-waisted. Where the hell else is this baby supposed to go?! It's out in front, get over it!<br><br>
My mother-in-law (who is normally quite sweet, but she has her moments) plainly informed me last weekend that she was never, ever so big at term with any of her 5 children and with her first she gained only 16 pounds. Gee, thanks, you sure know how to make a girl feel good.<br><br>
Is anyone else getting this or do I just have a lot of old hags in my vicinity? <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/irked.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="irked">
 

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ARGH, that is my big pet peeve. As soon as you get pregnant, people think it is ok to start commenting (usually negatively) on your appearance. Why do the rules of common courtesy change just because you're pregnant?! It boggles my mind...I would never criticize someone as being too big/fat/small/tall/short/round/etc when they're not pregnant, so why is it ok to do to pregnant women?!<br><br>
I have the opposite problem, since from behind you can't tell I'm pregnant at all, and I constantly get "oh my god, you're so tiny!!!" with a shocked or disturbed face. It makes me feel as if there's something wrong with the baby, or with me for not growing a big baby.<br><br>
I wish I could just take a megaphone and announce to the world: "please do not comment of the way a pregnant woman looks. It is rude, annoying, and and serves absolutely no purpose. Just shut up if you have nothing positive to say!".
 

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Crashing your DDC.<br><br>
You know what? Those ladies probably WEREN'T big when they were pregnant, because doctors told women back then to gain no more than ten pounds, and everyone was on Valium and smoked a pack a day. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/winky.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Wink"><br><br>
Seriously....give them a dose of their own medicine. How about, "Well, everyone's different. You know, my grandma is your age and she doesn't have <i>nearly</i> as many wrinkles."<br><br>
Yes, you have a lot of old hags around you. I can't recall anyone saying stuff like that to me when I was pregnant, and I was downright spherical.
 

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It's annoying but you can try to feel a little sorry for them. My grandmother told me that her doctor was so stern about her gaining no more than 15 pounds that she ate nothing but lettuce the day before she saw him. That has to suck.
 

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Discussion Starter #5
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>2xy</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/15376647"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Crashing your DDC.<br><br><br>
Seriously....give them a dose of their own medicine. How about, "Well, everyone's different. You know, my grandma is your age and she doesn't have <i>nearly</i> as many wrinkles."<br><br>
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This made me spit out my coffee. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/biglaugh.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="laugh"><br><br>
Thanks ladies. I have thought about the fact that lots of women in thier generation were scared into gaining tiny amounts of weight. They get a little sympathy there.<br><br>
atpeace: Yes, people do feel it's ok to say things to a pregnant woman they would never say to another. It is very rude. My DH's colleague (a woman) said to me the other day, "I mean, can you GET any bigger?" I was offended, but laughed it off at the time. I wish I was quicker with clever come-backs. Too bad pregnancy <i>brain</i> comes along with pregnancy <i>belly</i>.
 

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I comfort myself because, while my MIL "only gained 15 lbs" while pregnant (I actually don't believe her, and recent epigenetics studies have shown that gaining that little might be extremely bad for future progeny's life expectancy), she gained weight after giving birth. Meanwhile, I have to eat like 2500 calories a day just to maintain while I'm BF.<br><br>
Small comfort, eh?
 

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Yes it's annoying and rude etc.<br><br>
But a long time ago I figured out not to take it personally and just let it roll off my back, and say, "Oh, is that was it was like in your day?" then give them a chance to reminice. Then I say, "Well these days they're telling expectant mothers to do blah blah blah..." and then we talk about how these things go in fashion, advice changes, etc. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/eyesroll.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="roll"><br><br>
Works to take it off me and put it back on them and out there in the ether. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol">
 

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DDC crashing to say that I think older women make these comments because they are jealous that we are "allowed" to eat by our health care providers when they were put on restrictive diets and discouraged from gaining weight during their pregnancies! I can't imagine what it must have felt like to be pregnant and starving all the time like they must have been, fighting their bodies' messages to eat because a doctor said so... it'd probably make one bitter for many years afterwards!
 

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That and they're probably milking the "I'm old and have a right to be cranky and pretend to be deaf and cause as much trouble as I can" clause of aging. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/whistling.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="whistle">
 

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Oh no, I have heard this the whole time, too. It drives me crazy!!! I'm not HUUUUGE; I'm right on and even a little behind in the fundus-measuring department. I have a small frame, so my belly pops out.<br><br>
So frustrating. I have been saying, "actually my midwife has measured me, and I'm right on, exactly where I'm supposed to be at this far along" but it is really hard to be sweet and counter their comments reasonably.<br><br>
I am pretty close to getting sarcastic and just being like, "you're right" and kind of going off about how HUMONGOUS this baby must be, and heck it's probably not even twins but TRIPLETS blah blah unless you are a medical professional or I have directly asked for your opinion, then SHUT UP!<br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> I feel you, momma!<br><br>
*eta only with mine it's not even the "mature" generation, but more like my mom's contemporaries.*
 

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My DH's very sweet 95 year old grandmother asked me 4 times in 2 hours if I was bigger this time than with my first pregnancy. 4 times! And I said, "yes, probably" each of those 4 times. And my own grandmother kept asking me if I'm having twins. When I said, "no, but I am gaining faster with this one than the last" she said, like she was trying to be helpful, "well, you're older and fatter this time." She's right on the former, but I started at the same weight with each, and neither time was I fat.<br><br>
Oh well, it must be nice to get to the age where you don't have to filter anything. Or maybe it's that they can't.
 

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oh my...lol...I am just getting a belly and forgot how funny it is to walk through the store and stare at your stomach. I however am on the opposite side of the spectrum as you. I am 5'9 and am extremely long from hips to ribs...I carry not very big at all! I am 30wks and measuring spot on but can still button my prepreg jeans. If wearing my work out pants and old t shirt you would struggle to say if I was preggie or just pudgy.<br>
I have people ask all the time now "how far" and then do double takes and fall off things when finding out how far along....then lecture me "nicely" that its safe to gain weight and that I need to be more concerened over my babies health and that I should be careful etc etc...its just lovely, really. lol. I have to constantly point out to my inlaws that I am 5'9 and measuring exactly on and that in my ultrasounds my baby is measuring large. It doesn't help that my 5ft nothing tall sil is pregnant and expecting in september and is already bigger then me...ugh.<br>
I totally think you should say something about trying to grow this baby on sugar to see if it really causes adhd...j/k but seriously people need to mind thier own beeswax more...the nicety of not tell me what you think of my health did not fly out the window when I got knocked up thank you very much....I think I need to memorize some quick come backs.
 

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Oh carp, I just thought of something. All these old ladies will likely be giving me "parenting" advise in a few months. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/rolleyes.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="rolleyes"> Good times.<br><br>
Wait till they hear about the homebirth, cosleeping, extended breastfeeding...<br>
this should get interesting!<br><br>
Thanks for all the support ladies, nice to know I am not the only one feeling this way. People say the stupidest things!!!
 

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Elderly people mostly say "There are two in there? oh they must be small huh?" makes me a little upset.
 
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