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Thursday morning, June 8th, I had my weekly checkup. I was so pathetic a creature that the doctor wanted to induce me. I would get a gel to "ripen" my uterus that night and then be induced the following day.
Sooo... The doctor told me that triage would call me that night after seven and tell me to come in...
I was so excited!
I spent the day getting my house sorted out and making sure I had everything I needed for the hospital.
Then, around six thirty, I got a call from the doctor on call. She told me that there were too many inductions scheduled for the next day and I got bumped off the list. So they rescheduled mine for Tuesday, with the gel the night before.
I was crushed. We were at my mother's house at the time, I was giving her last minute instructions for the kids... I cried all the way home, and then crawled into bed, quite depressed.
At 8:30 the ER called... telling me to come in and get my gel.
Err... What?
I explained that my doctor told me they had rescheduled... Then my doctor called and told me that there was room for me now and to go on in...
If I wasn't induced the next day, I would get ANOTHER gel and be induced on Saturday...
So James and I packed up and headed to the hospital... We got to the ER at about nine pm. The waiting room was full. I mean, really really full... There were pregnant women lining the hall. We sat there until almost midnight before we finally got into a room in triage.
At one am they gave me the gel. The resident explained that there would be some cramping, and occasionally the gel was enough to start labor... but most likely I would still have to be induced... The gel just gets you ready for induction. I had to lay flat on my back for another hour, and then we were sent home.
I started feeling crampy right away. It didn't feel like contractions... It just felt like a constant, dull, throbbing sort of pain. At three am I was back in my own bed. I noticed that the cramping was no longer constant, but would come and go... It was also a stronger pain. Then I realized that the "cramps" were coming along just about every five minutes.
At three-thirty, I felt a little gush of water.
I jumped up out of bed and examined the sheets... I wasn't sure if it was my water breaking or if I had peed...
(I am really not as idiotic as this account makes me sound. Remember, I have never gone into labor on my own. I've always been safely tucked into a hospital bed, and had my water broken for me and an epidural inserted etc...)
The pains were now getting quite strong and coming five minutes apart like clockwork.
After twenty minutes of hemming and hawing, I called the doctor and told her my water MIGHT have broken. She told me to take my time, take a shower and then come on in.
In the car, my pains were three minutes apart.
We arrived (again) at the emergency room at 4:30. And waited... The pains were getting really strong now. At one point I thought I was going to throw up. It hurt. A lot.
Quarter to six we were back in a triage room. Lots of pain. Lots of blowing. Lots of hyperventilating.
Lots of calling for an epidural.
Lots of assurances that I would get it, as soon as I went upstairs to a labor room. Just a few more minutes... Don't worry!
Ten minutes past six, I am six centimeters dilated. The nurse gets ready to start an IV. But before she can put it in, they call me up to delivery. My room is ready for me.
I am sitting up straight on the gurney, because this is the only way that the pain is tolerable. I sit there, puffing, while they wheel me through the halls, into the elevator. I am freaking out... The pain is so bad. I am hyperventilating, and apologising for not being better at dealing with the pain... The nurse steering my gurney assures me that I will feel much better shortly, five more contractions and I'll get my epidural.
Five more? I can't LIVE through five more! Please, please make it stop!
We are now in the delivery room, and the gurney is right up against the bed. I just have to get on that bed.
I can't.
It hurts.
Suddenly, it hurts more than it ever has before, I panic and freak... I am confused as to how I should go about this... I can't crawl, I can't lift myself, it all hurts too much.
I get a glimpse of James, he is standing by the foot of the gurney, just trying to stay out of the way...
The nurses urge me to move...
I can't!
But in the brief thirty seconds between contractions I manage to heave myself over the gap and onto the bed.
Oh Goddess... Another contraction... The mother of all contractions... Pressure... Stabbing... BURNING... IT BURNS IT BURNS OH GOD IT FEELS LIKE THERE IS A BOWLING BALL DOWN THERE!!!
The nurse yells for the doctor, and asks me to lie back so she can check me. (I am still sitting straight up, indian style)
They lay me back, and I feel something burst, a gush, and then something shoots out of my body and plops onto the bed, between my knees. I feel liquid splatter my legs, all the way down to my feet.
The nurse yells "Whoa, get the doctor!"
And I realize I just gave birth. On my own. Without a doctor. Onto the bed... No one even had a chance to catch the baby!
The baby is whisked away before I can see her, and I am left, flat on my back in a puddle. I can feel James' hand on my head, patting my hair. I can feel the umbilical cord lying between my legs, still attatched inside of me...
The doctor comes in, and they take apart the bed an put my legs in stirrups so I can deliver the placenta.
Its weird, with my other children, I was so wrapped up in holding them that I don't remember the placenta part at all...
But this time, it was really clear... The doctor was scared that I might have ripped because of how quick it happened, but luckily, I didn't...
Thank the goddess... I did not want to deal with stitches on top of everything else!
I remember saying "I didn't get my stinking epidural!"
After that, I kind of start shaking... I went into shock...
And then I remember just repeating over and over, I can't believe that just happened...
I can't believe that just happened like that...
I can't believe that just happened...
When I finally came to myself, I asked if the baby was ok... They said she was, but they had to give her oxygen... James said she was blue when she came out.
But she was ok.
The nurse said that I was lucky I didn't give birth in the elevator... She said that my sitting up was really the only thing that kept the baby in!
I was lucky I din't birth her getting off the gurney and onto the bed!
When they laid me back, she literally shot out like a cannonball. I didn't push at all...
That was so freaky, so scary, so weird...
So violent!
So quick!
In six minutes, I went from six centimeters dilated to DELIVERED!!!
Soooo... That is my birth story...
Quite a story huh? If I had known it would happen like that, I would have had a homebirth like I orginally wanted and chickened out of!
Freaky weird.

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Congrats! Both my boys were projectiles, too!
Our mw made it just as ds2's head was being born. We never would've made it to the hospital. I was prepared for a fast birth, but it was still shocking and felt like getting hit by a freight train.

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heh... I've been having the feeling that Second Baby is going to come out like a cannonball. DS was 10 lbs and I am certain this one is smaller. She is also in the same position big brother was. AND... when my mother had her 4th child, 'nothing was happening' in the labor process and then suddenly her nightgown quivered and WHAM! Little sis's head was crowned.

I can't sleep tonight because I keep thinking I am going into labor...

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