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I'm having a rotten day. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"> And since I have no one else to talk to, I'll vent here if everyone would be so kind as to step aside and not mind too much. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/wink1.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="wink1"><br><br>
Actually, things were going pretty well for a while. I got up earlier than I was ready to, but felt up to doing so and the kids needed me. DH had left earlier to go to a friend's house for a movie marathon, so I knew he'd be gone all day, which was fine. (He works from home so is generally here - though he keeps working at the coffee shop and is gone a lot more.)<br><br>
So after eating a little and checking in on email and such, I started tackling things. Like the van we recently leased - Honda is telling us we owe them $$$ when the dealership assured us we were doing a "trade-in" and wouldn't owe Honda a dime. Dealership says they've paid Honda what they "agreed to;" Honda says there's $XXX still due because they don't "make agreements." Finally got in touch with a finance guy who did our paperwork - it was NOT put through as a "trade-in." <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/irked.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="irked">: So we have to deal with the GM on Monday and hope and pray for the best. Oh, and DH has "asked" me to handle all of this because he is pretty much incapable of it. Of course I haven't called to tell him what's going on lest I interrupt his movies.<br><br>
When that was sorted out, I took the boys to tackle their room. It's a disaster. They have way too much stuff, so we're sorting it to sell/give away a bunch, and organize the rest (AGAIN) so they can KEEP it clean. We got alot accomplished, but I also got really stressed and overwhelmed, though I'm not entirely sure why. I've just been more snappy with the kids today than I typically am and I don't like that, but I also don't like how I feel and sometimes that all comes out wrong. So I finally decided that I needed a break (and the kids had had about all they could take), so I told them to play while I came back to the computer to veg a bit before we made some lunch.<br><br>
At that point I realized I had to make a delivery at 5:30 and it was already almost 3:30, so if I made the kids lunch and then put them down for naps, there's no way they'd be done by the time I had to go deliver this order. I wasn't sure when DH would be coming home but thought he'd said he'd be home in the evening, before it got late. I hoped maybe this meant early evening, and so called him to find out.<br><br>
Turns out they were on the second of 3 3-hour movies. It'll be a "long time" before he's home, he says. They went to breakfast and picked up food for the day before starting the first movie - so much for an early start so they'd be done before it was very late. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/irked.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="irked">: Which of course leaves me totally stuck. I have kids that need to eat and sleep; I'm already exhausted and overwhelmed; and my DH is off watching movies and being totally inflexible. So I have no options. I've already delayed getting this order to this customer just basically due to being busy and tired, so I don't feel like I can leave it for another day (which would end up being 3 as I take it to her after work and the weekend is coming). DH really doesn't care and certainly isn't asking about it or trying to help. So I basically hang up on him after telling him that I'm clearly out o' luck here.<br><br>
A few minutes later my phone beeps, and I have a clear feeling that I do NOT want to read whatever he wrote. Boy was I right. It was awful. He's "so sorry I have to be a mom" and all this other junk (I could think of more colorful terms but don't use them IRL even when they seem to fit!) - including suggesting that I've done nothing all day, when as I said before I've handled some big stuff that HE wouldn't do, plus taken care of long-time needed chores and things that I haven't had energy to do in MONTHS. All this leaving me totally drained, too. I didn't even read the whole message, as I was seething with what I skimmed. I basically told him he was a jerk and could stay gone 'cause I don't need a jerk at home. UGH. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/hopmad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hopping mad"><br><br>
So of course now the day has been rotten. All I want to do is crawl in bed and cry myself to sleep and stay there until he decides to be decent. What I've done is try to take care of the boys between tears. I am furious with him and this all just makes me totally depressed. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/gloomy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Gloomy">: I know he'll come around - hopefully before long. But he'll also think it's all my fault for a time. (Right.) He's never, ever not been home for a night 'cause he's mad, so I expect he'll come home, though perhaps rather late.<br><br>
Don't get me wrong - we have a generally good relationship - sometimes REALLY good. And then there are stupid times like this where he's a complete <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/censored.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="censored"> and is absolutely, totally sure he's justified. It just hurts a lot more when I KNOW I've done a good job and been taking care of things for him, and then he makes idiotic accusations.<br><br>
He thinks I'm mad 'cause he's taking a day off, but that's not really the case. I was frustrated because I got stuck in an impossible position and, moreover, because he didn't give a flip about it. Now I'm hurt and angry because of how he handled it.<br><br>
On the one hand I want to clean and shine the whole house so he can see how much I've done and how WRONG he was, and on the other hand I feel like I can do *nothing.* I have told my boys I'd take them to play ball at the park, and hopefully they'll be finished with their late naps soon enough that we can do that. It's a beautiful day and perfect for the park, which hopefully would rejuvenate me a bit (besides also proving to my DH that I am *not* sitting around doing nothing).<br><br>
Well, like I said, I needed to vent, since I don't have anyone else to vent to... (My mom knows DH isn't perfect but I tend to spare her the gory details.) Thanks.
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/grouphug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="grouphug"> Awww Heather, what a rotten day. I'm so sorry your Dh was being jerky-like. You seem like such a sweet mama and I respect you alot so it makes me sad to see you down.
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/hug2.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Hug2">: I am so sorry. It seems dp's decide to be difficult at the worst times. I hope things get better for you.
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> aw I'm sorry that your day has been horrible.<br><br>
I have a really wonderful DH as well but sometimes he makes me so mad and makes me wanna <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/banghead.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="banghead"> cos he just doesn't get it no matter how hard I explain it to him.<br><br>
Sometimes men just don't get it <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/shrug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="shrug"> what can you do besides throttle them but then you may get arrested <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngtongue.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Stick Out Tongue">
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/hug2.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Hug2"> yeah, men, they suck...what can you do?
 

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Thanks, mamas! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/grouphug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="grouphug"><br><br>
I took the boys to play baseball (not nearly enough of a nap but we had time to go, which was good!) and we had a great time on a beautiful night. Then I took them out to dinner, which of course is a little tricky being by oneself at an order-at-the-counter place, but it worked out fine and we had a nice time. My parents came by to pick up DS1 for the night and DS2 and I headed home, for what I expected was some time to ourselves.<br><br>
Seems DH got home shortly before us and called and text messaged me as we were leaving the restaurant area. I couldn't get the call but heard and read the messages. He sounded remorseful and said he missed us and hoped we were coming home, and so we did. 'Twas a pleasant surprise when we got home and he actually said that I "wasn't really rude" to him. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/thumb.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="thumbs up"> So we've talked a bit and he's apologized numerous times and even given me due credit for all I did today. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/thumb.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="thumbs up"><br><br>
Thanks for letting me get it all off my chest, as it were. I knew it would all get better because we always work through things. But it's hard in the interim!
 

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I'm glad things turned out all right! Those kind of days are the worst. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"><br><br>
My DH is like yours: acts like a total jerk, then once he calms down turns into repentent nice hubby. sigh. If only they could learn. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> I'm sorry you had a rotten day, but I'm glad it turned out fine in the end.<br><br>
I just did a similar thing to my dh wrt letting him deal with something because I felt incapable... our cat (really my cat) was sick and had to go to the emergency vet on Sunday. I did not want to take her, partly because I didn't know how long it would be and had a headache (I had it the day before as well, it was better on Sunday but if I had to sit somewhere for a long time without water [because I didn't want to have to pee! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/redface.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Embarrassment">] and being stressed out, I knew it would get worse) and such, but also because I didn't want to break down in tears and be a blubbering, hormonal, emotional mess at the vet's. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/redface.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Embarrassment"> I took the kids to church while dh took the cat to the vet. He felt pretty lost, but was willing to do it after I made it clear I really, really didn't want to. But I knew what an imposition it was and totally made it up to him.<br><br>
Oh, and I can relate to the stress over decluttering kid rooms. I decluttered my kids' room recently; it was freeing when it was done, but man oh man, it was crazy while I was doing it. I cried. But their room has been mostly clean since then, and it is quick and easy to tidy up when it gets messy. Sooooo worth it.
 
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