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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
So we've narrowed the field down to 2 contenders. Ive included how we'd pronounce them. Please tell me what you think

Delia Charle (dee-lee-uh)
Aislyn Charle (aze-linn)

the middle name is pronounced sharl and is in honor of my dearly departed godmother.

Now, as far as the last name. My BF and I are not "technically" married but pretty much are and someday will be when we get around to it financially (I have a specific deal in mind and it will cost a little money - mostly the catering)

On the birth certificate I'd like to put a hyphenated last name (his-mine or mine-his). For some reason, he is upset by this. When we legally get married I say we can legally change the last name to only his, but until then it's both. Has anyone been in this boat? What did you do?
 

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Just a thought, btu doing a name change later will not be an easy thing...you will have to file a petition with the court, affadavits, run the announcement in the legal secation of the paper for several weeks, etc... a procedure an attorney may charge $750. Why not spend $25 (or whatever it is in your county) and have the justice of the piece marry you (even if you don't tell anyone because you want to "do it right" with catering and all later). Then the child can have his name, AND should something happen to you during the birth he can help make medical decisions and be there as father of the baby. Without a marriage or a legal legitimization in place prior to the birth he could really be up a creek if something went wrong...
Just my .02
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
We've thought of that but I really don't want to do it like that. Plus, it has been brought up around family members before and both of our parents would be absolutely devestated if we did this. We both come from traditional families and I would not want to disrespect them by doing that when I know it is against their wishes. We are just thankful that they are accepting of our lifestyles the way we live currently (not so traditional
)

What if we just go ahead and put his last name on the birth certificate? That doesn't negate any of my rights does it?
 

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we will be using my dp's last name for the last name of our child and using my last name as an additional middle name.....

my dp and i have a slightly odd situation....my dp's last name is not the last name of his father....his mother decided to give him the last name of her ex husband....i think she did this so all three of her children had the same last name...i don't know, it just seems odd to me....but i guess it makes sense....
 

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DH & I weren't married until after our 3rd was born (we kept putting off the wedding cause I kept getting knocked up & didn't wanna wear a wedding dress with a stretch panel
)
We gave the kids my last name until we were married & then changed it to his. It was a PITA which cost a pile of $.

I like Aislyn (although the traditional pronunciation of it in Ireland is Ash-ling)
I think the look of Aislyn Charle is very pretty & feminine.
 

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(Crashing your ddc, because I can't resist name threads.)

Honestly, I think you should tell him to stuff it and hyphenate if that's what you want to do. Does he really think your name is so horrible that it can't sully "his" kid?

But, barring that, you can make the name Delia Charle MidnightCommandoLN MidnightCommandoSOLN.

They'll usually let you do two middle names. If you frame it as "two middle names" maybe he won't be so freaked out? I dunno.

(And, I like Delia!)
 

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Over from Nov.

I personally didn't go through the name thing, but one of my close friends did. We all encouraged her to give the baby her name because the relationship was very shakey - she didn't, the creep is now (thankfully) out of the picture, but she's stuck with a child with a different name from her's for the rest of her life because he won't surrender his legal right to the child (nor pay child support - best of both worlds for him... but that's a totally different story).

So... how secure do you feel in your relationship? Are you pretty sure that you will marry your bf? If so, then go with your heart and either hyphenate or give the baby his name. If you have questions - think about things like letters for school (even if you only plan to homeschool), signing paperwork for things like driver's license, etc. if you have a different name than your child.

I'm not doubting the sincerity of your relationship AT ALL! Just something to think about while making the decision. I read (in Misconceptions by Naomi Wolfe) that most women will give their child the father's name regardless of the relationship - especially if the decision is put off to the very end - because of the need to *know* that the father will support the babe (even the most staunch feminists in the group). So just make sure you're naming the baby for the right reasons! It sounds like you guys are in this together for the long haul - so I don't think the naming thing will be a make or break issue for you =)
 

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I like Aislyn, I do know a one year old Delia, it's a cute name but prefer Aislyn out of the two. We are having last name issues as well, but slightly different. We are married, have been for 5 years, I took DH's last name, and have regreted it for several years now. I have been meaning to change my name back but have never gotten it together enough to jump through all the hoops I have to in my state, and I refuse to do it now that I'm pg because now I have to have DH come to court and give his permission for me to change my name.
: DD has DH's last name, but I feel very strongly against this babe having it as well. DH is balking, but it is very important to me, he has one child with his name, now it's my turn.
Good luck.
 

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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
Thanks for all the input so far.
The name thing is not going to damage our relationship in any way, we are solid and I don't see that ever changing - we are best friends and soul mates. I think that I am just stubborn - I don't know if I'll change my last name when we get married. Nothing personal towards him, I am proud of my family name and and don't get why I have to be the one to change it.

It sounds like it is a major PITA to legally change the last name of the child so I am going to consider using it as a middle name. We will discuss this tonight.

Keep the input on the names coming! Oh- I know the correct pronunciation is ash-linn but I like it the other way better. There's no rules in changing a name is there?
 
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