Naming dimlemna...what would you do?

670 Views 10 Replies 9 Participants Last post by clynnr, Apr 1, 2006

clynnr

Discussion Starter · Apr 1, 2006

Hi! So DH and I have been talking names for the last few days (yeah, we're procrastinators, LOL!), and we finally hit on one we both really like, with a nickname we both love! No middle name yet (are you kidding--I'm surprised we got this far!) and I refuse to commit to any name before the baby is born anyway, so this could totally be out the window when the baby gets here.

Anyway, the name is Elenorah, and we would call her Norah. Oh, and we don't even know if this baby is a girl--no hits on a boy name yet.

So here's the dilemna: One of my good friends had a baby five months ago and named her Mary Eleanor. I would hate for her to think we were stealing her name, but it didn't even occur to me until after we had both said we really liked it. Actually, we hit on the name Norah first, but then came up with Elenorah. I haven't talked to my friend about it yet, but I don't know if I even need to, KWIM?

What would you do? Talk to her? Not talk to her? Pick a different name? So many options, and it's hard to figure out what to do when you're pregnant and hormonal anway, LOL!

TIA!!

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peilover010202

· #2 · Apr 1, 2006

Well, considering it's her dd middle name and that you'll be calling your dd "Norah" then I don't know if I would ask. But, if you want to ask, you should. But, what if she tells you no? Will you use it anyway or bow out?

BTW - I LOVE the name. I LOVE Norah!

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scrapadoozer

· #3 · Apr 1, 2006

I think they are different enough. I don't see why your friend would have a problem with that name...and this is coming from a mama of an Eleanor.

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ariahsmum

· #4 · Apr 1, 2006

I would definitely let her know. Not that I would frame it as asking permission- causse it is your kid, lol.. but I would touch base and tell her you wanted to fill her in with where you are, etc.

I had a friend who had friends name their child the exact same name right after their birth, and they wished they had at least brought it up in conversation sometime amd addressed it...

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eco_mama

· #5 · Apr 1, 2006

I kinda went through the same thing. I was gonna use Moss for a mn if this baby is a girl because of the meaning but then I remembered that my friend in Virginia used that for one her ds's mn's..I was torn between using it or not because she used it. I decided not to under certain circumstances but I'm sure she wouldn't have cared one way or the other.

I think her dd's name and the one u chose are just different enough that it doesn't really matter. Plus, it's not like it's her dd's 1st name. Elenorah is a pretty name but I would drop the 'h' at the end, personally. Have you thought of the name Leonora? (pr. lea-nora) You could use Nora and also Leo as nn's. (If you like Leo) Or perhaps just Leonore, and still use Nora for a nn. Anyways, just a suggestion!

Good luck w/ the rest of naming..I had kind of a tough time myself!

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clynnr

Discussion Starter · #6 · Apr 1, 2006

We actually really like the "h" at the end, LOL!

Except that that's how Norah Jones spells it, and we're trying so hard *not* to end up with a popular name this time... But other than that I like that it makes it a little different. Thanks for the suggestions though!

peilover - That's a good point about thinking about what we would do if she said no. I really wouldn't expect her to say no, but it is a possibliity. I do like the idea of approaching it not as a question, but more as a "We were thinking about this, just to let you know..." and see how she reacts. To me, it's not worth an upset friend--even a little upset, KWIM?

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TurboClaudia

· #7 · Apr 1, 2006

i have a personal policy of not discussing any names with people before baby is born. i only mentioned our possible names to a few people before our first baby was born and although the comments i got back were encouraging, the drama around the naming of our son (it took 3 weeks AFTER he was born to decide on a name) was enough to make me reconsider even that.

that said, it does sound as if the name you might pick is different enough from your friend's daughter's name that it will mostly be a non-issue. you might consider bringing it up in a casual conversation with her -- just something like, "oh, so we've been talking about names and we heard this interesting variation of one of your daughter's names: elenorah. have you heard that before?" gauge her response and decide how to proceed from there. you might tell her right then that if your baby is a girl, that is name that's pretty high up on the list. or you might wait and revisit the conversation a day or two later and tell her that you've thought about it more and it's pretty high up on the list and then ask how she feels about it.

i think the fact that the names are different enough, that you would probably be calling her norah, and that it is their daughter's middle name and not first name may make the situation easier than you expect.

~claudia

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Quagmire

· #8 · Apr 1, 2006

Honestly, names aren't anyone's property. You should call your child whatever you and your DH like, even if your sister, cousin and two neighbors have a child with the same name. I wouldn't bother to talk to her ahead of time lest it be seen as open for discussion.

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PancakeGoddess

· #9 · Apr 1, 2006

I don't think you should *ask* her about it, but it would be nice to say something, and I doubt she'd mind since you aren't calling her anything similar, really.

When my son was born, a good friend named her baby a VERY close name one month later when her son was born. It was sort of a drag, because we got together a lot at that time and it was confusing for other people, and just made our baby and his name less special. I know that's lame, but that's how it felt at the time

I just wish she'd have mentioned it to me - not ASKED permission for goodness sake - it's not my right. But a mention...

(eta, I think the friend had already chosen that name, too, so I'm not blaming her - just answering the question about whether to talk about it)

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Brisen

· #10 · Apr 1, 2006

I think it's different enough that you don't need to ask, and you don't need to bring it up if you don't feel comfortable sharing your name before the birth. I love the name! I have thought of both Eleanor and Nora for this babe, and it never even occured to me that Nora could be a nickname for Eleanor (or Norah and Elenorah, in your case). Hmmmmm....

Would you mind if a stranger from Canada steals your name?

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clynnr

Discussion Starter · #11 · Apr 1, 2006

Quote:

Originally Posted by Brisen
I think it's different enough that you don't need to ask, and you don't need to bring it up if you don't feel comfortable sharing your name before the birth. I love the name! I have thought of both Eleanor and Nora for this babe, and it never even occured to me that Nora could be a nickname for Eleanor (or Norah and Elenorah, in your case). Hmmmmm....

Would you mind if a stranger from Canada steals your name?

Steal away! LOL!

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