Nanny 911 and GD...

I have a theory that the main reason Nanny 911 appears to have some success isn't because she punishes and talks down to the kids, it's because she forces the parents to play with their kids. I've only seen a few episodes, but in all of them the parents are constantly fighting with and yelling at their kids before the nanny arrives. This nanny gives them a daily schedule (no flexibility whatsoever) that looks like a PITA but it does have times specifically scheduled for the parents to play with their kids. I don't think these parents played with their kids much, if ever, before.

I'd love to see a GD nanny for comparison, and I wish there were some time machine to show how well these kids are doing when they become teenagers and adults, and how close their relationships to their parents are as teenagers and adults.

They show families with no structure at all, and then add negative structure, and sure there's going to be some improvement for the short-term, so it looks effective in a television format. But what about adding some more positive structure to see if there's any improvement with positive structure and no punishment? And what about how the kids do in the long-term? The only options shown are *do nothing* and *punish*. The assumption is that punishment and negativity are the only methods that will work to make the kids and parents get along.

Quote:
no worries, i never assumed anything of the sort! silly to take one incident and put it on a whole ethnicity! my concern was actually with what is considered acceptable amount of crying by someone watching your child for you... you could definitely tell the mom was having some major problems with it--and rightfully so. she only said that she would continue because it was started and she refused to put her kids through something like that again. i can understand that philosophy. i just think that mama or papa should have at least been there holding there babies and offering them support....

I just wanted to say that I really detest this show as well. It always makes me cry. The Nanny show on ABC isn't much better. "Naughty Step" my left foot! Like your kid is a dog? I guess that's the rub - so much of this show is based upon pavlovian techniques (sit, run, fetch, go to sleep crying!).

I guess I feel that discipline springs from the relationship, rather than the other way around. I would also like to know much more about the Nanny women, as none of them look capable of carrying on any sort of adult relationship - not the best role model!

There was "Wife Swap" that I watched (ok, one and only) where they had a very hippie NFL-type family trade with a Ezzo-style one. Of course the NFL house had uncontrollable teens who said pretty remarkable things to the parents; and the Ezzo style seemed like Stepford Kids. So there ARE shows where the families swap, but of course they found the most undisciplined, foul-mouthed, impolite NFL teens that existed. There was a expose later about it in NY Times I think.

Mmm - I have a bit more nuanced view of this, just a bit. Many Americans I think really look up to our British cousins as being more refined and knowing the "proper way" to do things, including raise children (Baby Whisperer, Nannies, etc etc). My brit cousins certainly laughed at me the first time they saw me eat peas (with my spoon, of course - they had some way of doing it with their knives!). I think there is a certain segment of British society -as in America - that values quiet, proper children who always do exactly as mummy/nanny says and keep the stiff upper lip and while the parents drown the problems at the pub at 17 hrs sharp. I sometimes wonder if the Nannies that come on to US TV are typically serving a different class level, and how much of this is class-cultural related. Most of my cousins are certainly more reserved than I am, and are from an upper-middle class background, and were raised by nanny to behave and repress a lot of emotion.

I have not observed as many NFL-type families in the UK as here, even in larger towns and more "crunchy" towns, although I do have one cousin who does do this. It takes more guts there I think sometimes to really be an AP-style family, she said she often feels pretty isolated (she lives in Brighton).

Don't flame me - perhaps I completely misunderstand, this is just what I've observed with MY OWN family.

I understand wanting to wean them from pacis, orhodontics and all that BUT, it was filling a need and if you want to take it away, then you replace it with something acceptable that also fills that need, and they didnt. They just took it and gave those kids NOTHING to use for self comforting/regulating. And the sippies? Come on, at three and four, big deal, they still spill a lot. It was awful. Those poor kids! I felt so bad for them. I know the family needed to change some things, but this wasnt the way. Actual effective and loving stratigies take longer than five days to work, In fact, the behavior you are trying to change often gets WORSE before it gets better, thats natural limit testing. But that wouldnt fit neatly into a weekly episode, would it?

I hate that show, loathe it, cants stand it. We watched a couple of episodes at first and all it did was cause fights, cuz dh would see something that seemed effective and tell me, "yeah, see?" Grrr. Of course, when dd wails, its dh, not me, that caves everytime.

My mother, who is not AP at all, though she is better than she use to be (with ds1 I refused to leave him alone with her since she believed in spanking, she no longer does, so she is learning!) watches supernanny, then calls to tell me how badly I need to watch it. And when she's here and Im doing something she doesnt agree with, I get, "supernanny says......." and I want to throw things at her, I do, I truly do. Like Im gonna take parenting advice from network tv. :

There did used to be a more GD discipline version of this show about 2 years ago produced by Canada, i think- and you could see it on some extended Discovery channels. I have wondered if nanny 911 was a more sensational copy.
A team of about 3 experts- in child development, therapy and something else, came into the home and gave advice. There was a lot more talking about what you can expect from diff ages, respect, hoe to phrase things so kids can hear/ understand/ listen to you, and more talking to the parents about why they were doing whatever. The results were amazing. It made me kinda wish someone could wisk into my home during any stressful period and do that- but not my mother. Also, it seemed to me that they were great shows for parenting classes.
Anyhow- has anyone seen these? They may still be on, but I dont get extended cable anymore.

b