[Cartesia]

HELP!!!!

OK, so we have a 4 month old LO who will only nap while being bounced in a sling on a gym ball. For. The. Entire. Nap......

(and yes, we have tried EVERYTHING and I do mean EVERYTHING else. And yes, I did an elimination diet for a month. His night sleep is pretty decent, so I don't think it is food stuff).

It is getting very hard to function with four hours a day spent on a gym ball. I can't sleep, cook, or do any basic self care while he is napping. He weighs 18 pounds at 4 months and I'd rather put those bouncing calories into breast milk!

So we need a change. I think by 4 months it is reasonable to not have to do aerobics while my LO naps. Right now, any rapid change is going to involve crying (yes, know about NCSS and have already been trying for awhile). My DP keeps hearing glowing stories from the CIO crowd and is wanting to consider it. I keep crying when I even think about it.

So here is what I am wondering - is it CIO if I hold my babe while he screams? Meaning, if I do our usual nap routine and then lay down with him and hold him while he freaks out, is that a form of CIO b/c I am withholding his usual sleep soothing aid?
And - would that even work, anyhow? Like, if for every nap I just kept holding him lying down and trying to soothe him, would he eventually learn to fall asleep that way?

AAARRRHHHHHGGGGGGG. PLease advise...

A

 

[heidirk]

Forgive me for asking the obvious right off, but- do you have a swing/vibrating seat? If you do, try it it might work.

If you know all about NCSS, then you know the 'sneaky way', ie, when child is asleep, transfer to safe sleeping area, when he wakes, soothe back to sleep, transfer to sleeping area, lather, rinse, repeat. (do you have the book?)

IMHO- crying in arms when it cannot be avoided is not CIO.

DO you have a bedtime routine? Can some part of it work for naps? What is different from bedtime for naps? OOPS I see you have a nap routine- I would try what you suggested, for a few minutes at a time.

I had a tiny one that needed motion to fall asleep, and I would often pop him in the sling for a nap, then transfer him to the crib. That takes some practice, but it does work. Sometimes I just left him in the sling, and sat down on the couch to snooze/watch TV with the closed captioning on while he slept on me.

As a momma whose BTDT- take heart, persistence is generally rewarded.

As a friend of a momma who did CIO- AVOID IT! She had to keep doing it over again every time there was a change, ie- sickness, travel, daylight savings time, etc. And her little guy got even more clingy and anxious than he was, which is saying quite a bit, since he was high needs anyway.

 

[limabean]

My DD went through a month-long phase at that age where she would only nap in the swing. I was conflicted about it, but gave in to it, and it passed quickly enough. You may have already tried that, but if not it's worth a shot. I remember how intense those days were, and days when it was hard to get her down to sleep were so frustrating/exhausting/depressing. Good luck to you, mama.

 

[Cartesia]

Yeah, I think I might not have tried the NCSS thing with enough persistence b/c I have really wanted him to get enough sleep by any means necessary.
I do try one or two transfers but then give up so that he can get a full nap.
Maybe it is time to GET SERIOUS with that, even if it means missed sleep.
Its confusing, b/c I feel like getting enough naps is really important for his night time sleep, so I never know how much to experiment vs. just do what works.

I would LOVE to be able to just keep him in the sling and sit on the couch but he wakes up whenever I stop bouncing. Seriously. I keep trying.

So, do I stop bouncing, keep him in the sling and let him cry??

(oh and yes we have tried the vibrating/bouncing/swinging/seat/swing/hammock/spaceship

)

 

[heidirk]

Well, maybe give it a set number of tries? Like, I'll try three times, then do whatever I have to do. I think five tries might be better, and you can start early, to give yourself more time.

I remember sitting there on the couch bouncing up and down just enough to keep him asleep.

Maybe sit down, when he stirs even the least bit, start the jiggle/bounce. Or when he stirs, get up and start to rock/walk, don't go back to full on bouncing, somehting just a bit less energetic.

I'd seriously examine your nightime routine, because something in that IS working

(spaceship!

: sorry, like I said, BTDT!)

 

[dawncayden]

If you decided not to bounce him would he not nap all day?

How many naps does he have a day?

 

[kalamos23]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cartesia HELP!!!! OK, so we have a 4 month old LO who will only nap while being bounced in a sling on a gym ball. For. The. Entire. Nap...... (and yes, we have tried EVERYTHING and I do mean EVERYTHING else. And yes, I did an elimination diet for a month. His night sleep is pretty decent, so I don't think it is food stuff). It is getting very hard to function with four hours a day spent on a gym ball. I can't sleep, cook, or do any basic self care while he is napping. He weighs 18 pounds at 4 months and I'd rather put those bouncing calories into breast milk! So we need a change. I think by 4 months it is reasonable to not have to do aerobics while my LO naps. Right now, any rapid change is going to involve crying (yes, know about NCSS and have already been trying for awhile). My DP keeps hearing glowing stories from the CIO crowd and is wanting to consider it. I keep crying when I even think about it. So here is what I am wondering - is it CIO if I hold my babe while he screams? Meaning, if I do our usual nap routine and then lay down with him and hold him while he freaks out, is that a form of CIO b/c I am withholding his usual sleep soothing aid? And - would that even work, anyhow? Like, if for every nap I just kept holding him lying down and trying to soothe him, would he eventually learn to fall asleep that way? AAARRRHHHHHGGGGGGG. PLease advise... A

I didn't read the posts after yours, but my LO is the same way! I put my exercise ball in front of the computer and surf the net while she sleeps. She goes through phases where she lets me lay her down, but it wasn't until 5 months old or so. Right now, because she is sick, I am holding her while she naps (she's really stuffed up and can't breathe laying down).

Some babies gain tension by crying, some release tension. Mine gains tension, so any form of CIO is just going to be pointless for us. Coming from a mama with a LO just a few months older - the house will survive if the laundry doesn't get done, but you only have precious few moments holding your baby - enjoy them! They really do grow up fast.

 

[User101]

Mamas, just a gentle reminder-- while crying in arms is a sort of "gray area" in crying it out, please remember that MDC does not host conversations on the merits of CIO or conversations promoting it.

As always, feel free to PM me with any questions or concerns.

 

[carrie a.]

I held my DD in my arms in a rocking chair or walking her in a sling for every nap the first 7 months of her life. There were times she needed to cry and she did so in my arms (awareparenting.com). Your LO will eventually get the sleep thing down - for now, he probably just needs to be held and the motion is soothing. He'll let you know when it's time to get back to your life! For now, enjoy the time with him.

 

[lilith1]

My DS outgrew the swing were he napped till now. My mother showed me great trick to get him to nap. I secure him in the stroller that reclines all the way flat. I push him under a tree or the wind chime on the patio. He either falls asleep listening to the noises and watching the leaves. On days were that doesn't work I get behind the stroller and push back and forth without him seeing me (behind the stroller), just talking gently if he cries to let him know I'm there with him. He sleeps great outside. And then there are those days were nothing works and I strap him in my carrier and he will fall asleep on me. No schedule, no set rules- that's him...

 

[Cartesia]

Wow, thank you so much everyone.

Well, I got inspired by the support and tried something new - we did this for night time sleep, but I am hoping that it might transfer to the day too.

In the spirit of NCSS, we nursed until he was both full and drowsy then I took him off the breast and patted & "shushed" for awhile. As usual, he started to cry. At this point I would normally just nurse again until he was out cold. (This doesn't work in the daytime, btw....)

BUT when he started to cry for some reason I felt inspired to try to recreate the sensation of the Ergo that he always naps in, so I put my knee between his legs (he was on his belly) and jiggled the mattress. This surprised him so much he stopped crying! Then he started to cry again and I added the trick that used to soothe him as a newborn - deep OMing in my very best monk-chanting imitation.......

So he flopped and grunted and gave little shrieks and tossed and whimpered and then fell asleep. Wow.

I will try this for nap time for a few days and report back.

I will also try the possibility of letting him cry while I hold him.

(and yes, we do walking naps but he wakes up if I stop at all to stand or sit, so it gets really exhausting. Also we live in NYC and sudden loud noises happen all the time, even in the park, so I don't feel like it works for more than one nap a day).

 

[haurelia]

thanks for this post...i was just cruising in (nak) to post something very similar, and will be eager to hear how your nap strategy works out. good luck!

 

[_betsy_]

Some babies really, really need motion to sleep. Does your little one fall asleep almost immediately in the car seat, and wake at red lights/car turning off?

Have you tried Dr. Karp's 5 Ss?

I rocked DD to sleep for every nap until she was about 2, and I was a couple months PG. I just couldn't do it any longer - she was 30 pounds, and half my height, and I just couldn't any more, physically.

I don't recommend waiting that long to figure out something else!

Interestingly, DH put her to bed every night without any motion whatsoever. She knew I'd do it, so she demanded it of me. But when I wasn't there (I WOH, FT, nights), she was fine doing things DH's way.

 

[darcytrue]

Quote:

Originally Posted by heidirk Forgive me for asking the obvious right off, but- do you have a swing/vibrating seat? If you do, try it it might work.

This is what I was going to suggest. Maybe you could try taking the child for a car ride around nap time and get him to go to sleep that way and carry him inside the house and leave him in the carseat during the nap until he gets used to not using the gym ball. At that young age I would think he'd forget about the gym ball after not using it for a while. I'd just switch him to a different way of falling asleep that will take less of your time.

 

[Cartesia]

Yeah, when I said I tried EVERYTHING, I do mean EVERYTHING - swing, hammock, stroller, car, vibration etc. etc.
Also, its not just that he needs motion to put him asleep, he needs it to STAY asleep.

Again, this is a huge improvement from when he was a newborn and it took ages for him to fall asleep during the day. Now he is constantly sleeping within 5-10 minutes on the gym ball. But NOTHING ELSE seems to work.

So my little imitate-the-ergo trick doesn't seem easily repeatable. I think the novelty surprised him so much that it worked the first time but not now.

I have to admit that it is hard to WANT to change when the ball is so reliable but I know we probably should.

I think we will start putting him down once he is asleep and then re-bouncing him when he wakes up (which will be a few minutes) and doing that 3-5 times per nap.

I'll keep you all posted on how that works!

 

[Lusa's Mom]

My LO was 5 months before I could lay her down for a nap. She is 7 mo now and it is easiest to wear her down in the ergo and then lay her down. She went thru a transition month where if I layed her down she would only sleep for 20 min so it was a trade off. Now she'll nap her full nap.
Hope this helps

 

[Cartesia]

Thanks, Lusa's Mom -

So during the transition did you just do some regular long naps and but also keep laying her down to get her used to it, even though the naps were short? Or did you do all short naps until she finally started sleeping longer?? Did it seem important to do the nap the same way all the time until she got used to it? Do you think she started sleeping longer b/c of familiarity with being put down or do you think it was just age?

 

[sapphire_chan]

What does he do if you pop him in the sling and do your chores and/or go for a walk? Those are still motion, but would at least let you get something done.

 

[Cartesia]

He wakes when the motion stops or pauses, so chores are tricky. I do some of his naps walking but he is 18 pounds and since I can't stop & sit on the walk it is actually easier on my body to bounce sitting on the ball.

I would love for him to learn to stay asleep on a walk if I stop and sit for awhile. Any suggestions?

 

[pastrygirl]

How long of a nap are you getting and/or hoping for? If you need to be in motion, can you cut it down to 30 minutes? Not sure if this will help, but my son was a terrible napper. He only took 20- to 30-minute naps until he was 9 months old, which I've read can be completely normal. He started out with about five of those per day, and I held him or co-slept for them (thankfully he didn't need to be moving, but he did need to be held and shushed or nursed the whole time).

If I wanted to put him down, I had to rock/nurse/shush him for no less than an hour, to make sure he was completely asleep, then I had to move him ever so carefully to the crib/co-sleeper/bed. If I jostled him, I had to start over for the full hour. Then he slept for only 20 or 30 minutes. As I was putting him down, I had to bend over him so that my body weight was still on him for several minutes, before I could more away. It was a huge pain (in the back, literally!), but at least he slept a little bit.

I cherished that first 90-minute nap when he was 9 months old. Got my first 3-hour nap when he was 28 months!