napping question for moms of 2 or more

454 Views 12 Replies 13 Participants Last post by The4OfUs, Mar 12, 2007

nonnymommy

Discussion Starter · Mar 8, 2007

How do you get your baby to sleep with a sibling around? I have a 5 year old and 9 month old and we cosleep. When she was younger I just nursed the baby to sleep in the family room. Now that she is more aware I've been taking her into bed and laying down with her so she can nurse to sleep. I usually put a prerecorded tv program on for my 5 year old and tell her to read books after it is over. My dh has a problem with her being unsupervised while I'm getting the baby to sleep (sometimes it takes awhile). What do other moms do in this situation? Any suggestions would be appreciated.

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Diprincess

· #2 · Mar 8, 2007

I don't have a nap schedule for my 5 mo, but I do have a scheduled "quiet time" for my 3yo. I think this is more for my benefit than anything, but everyday at 1pm, we put a child gate up in the door to his room and he plays in his room for a few hours. This actually started out because we are a one car family that is needed by my dh for his job. That means we are home all day long with the tv on WAY too much. Now, to avoid too much tv time we have our quiet time and I gain some much needed sanity every day. If I want to take a nap (not that I ever do take naps though) I can, and I know he's in a safe room, and if he needs anything from me, he just calls for me. Maybe you could try something like that?

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chlaal

· #3 · Mar 9, 2007

I so WISH I had a good answer to this one. My dd gets much less napping than she needs, because she simply can't go to sleep if she can see (or hear!) her big brother. And I feel like I neglect him when I tell him to play by himself while I retreat into the bedroom to try to get dd to sleep. Here dd is almost a year old and I still haven't figured out the solution to this.

:

-Joan

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asaunders

· #4 · Mar 11, 2007

I've been dealing with the same issue recently, too. DS is almost 4 months, DD recently turned 3. Now that DS is aware of everything going on around him, all DD has to do is whisper and DS wakes right up/can't fall asleep...he also won't nap longer than 30 minutes during the day unless being walked around, so I can't even really play or read to DD so much of the time during the day, since DS usually has around 3-4 naps per day, and I feel really guilty. I've wracked my brain for solutions that would make everyone happy, but DS is just too light of a sleeper. I usually try to incorporate at least one car ride into my day, since DS will sleep soundly for a decent length of time and I can tell DD stories. As for keeping an eye on your older one while trying to nurse your baby, I have to deal with this, too, since DH doesn't get home until after their bedtime. I will set DD up in the next room (loft) with a DVD (only thing that will keep her quiet/still,) all ready for bed, on the couch, while I nurse DS to sleep in the bedroom (a few feet away) - I leave the door open halfway so I can see/hear her if I need to...otherwise, if she's not within earshot/sight, I get too nervous. We use a white noise machine in the bedroom to block any minor noises DD/the DVD makes, which definitely helps. This might seem a little extreme, but I've actually considered this...we own a video baby monitor, like this:
http://www.healthchecksystems.com/ba...itor.htm#02090
- maybe you could get one to keep an eye on your older DC while you're in the other room? Good luck, and I hope we all find something that works, soon!

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phathui5

· #5 · Mar 11, 2007

She's five. Unless there are behavior problems you didn't mention (where she would need constant supervision), I don't see anything wrong with leaving a five year old alone long enough to get the baby down for a nap. Both my three year old and my six year old know that if I'm putting ds2 down (17 months) that they can't come in unless there's something wrong.

Quote:

And I feel like I neglect him when I tell him to play by himself while I retreat into the bedroom to try to get dd to sleep.

It's not neglect. There's nothing wrong with him playing alone long enough to put your dd to sleep. Not a thing.

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mashenka

· #6 · Mar 11, 2007

We have a tough time, too. DD is four months and DS 3. He soooo loves his sister and wants to "help" get her to sleep. She is, much to my surprise, a crib sleeper. We don't even have a crib, but she hates to sleep while being carried [DS wouldn't sleep any other way] and much prefers being prone. DS likes to sing to her and "rock" her to sleep. Needles to say, it doesn't work.

We've tried a white noise machine and a humidifier to block noise. I've begged DS to play on his own for a little to just give her a chance to fall asleep. My one trick that works is that I tell him that she grows while she sleeps and that she needs to grow bigger so that she can play with him! One day out of five this line works!

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AmieV

· #7 · Mar 11, 2007

She's 5? Then I don't see why it's an issue to leave her be for a bit to get your baby down. As long as you're not going off and conking out yourself for a few hours I honestly don't see what the issue is. My 2 year old stays in the babyproofed living room and either plays with her toys or reads books while I get her sister down, or occasionally if she can handle it she'll read books in her sister's room quietly while I nurse her down.

The thing I don't understand when I see these posts, and this is not directed at the OP, is the idea that we are supposed to be constantly interacting with the kids all day long. I believe from what I have read that it is both beneficial and necessary for kids to have their own space and time to play independently. Obviously I'm not talking about neglect here...just that my daughter and I often spend time together in the same room where I'm not necessarily actively engaging her in play and she comes up with some pretty creative ways to occupy herself on her own that I feel is good for her development. And I feel perfectly confident letting her hang out while I spend 15 minutes nursing her sister.

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hottmama

· #8 · Mar 11, 2007

My littlest is almost 15 mos. and he hardly ever naps because his brother wakes him up/prevents him from getting to sleep all the time. I feel so bad for him but he is a really light sleeper and I can't manage to keep my 4 yr. old quiet.

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veganf

· #9 · Mar 11, 2007

When my older 2 were little I had them napping at the same time by 8 months old because #2 dropped down to 1 nap by then. But #1 dropped naps when #3 was born, and #2 shortly thereafter. So now I put the baby down just after the boys have left for preschool in the morning, and for the 2nd nap I do it when the older boys are starting lunch so they occupied, and for the 3rd nap I either give them a snack, send them outside to play, or during bad weather let them watch a little tv.

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Max'sMama

· #10 · Mar 12, 2007

Quote:

Originally Posted by phathui5

She's five.

It's not neglect. There's nothing wrong with him playing alone long enough to put your dd to sleep. Not a thing.

:

Totally agree. We do the quiet time thing too.

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tbone

· #11 · Mar 12, 2007

I put my 5 month old down in our bedroom upstairs with the humidifier turned on to drown out the noise. I do this when he is really tired ( yawning and rubbing his eyes), sometimes I'll rock him or bounce him to sleep or at least to a really tired state while we're downstairs and then take him upstairs. My 2yr old and I stay downstairs while the baby is napping. I tell ds1 that I'll be right back and most of the times he'll wait downstairs for me, but it works best when the TV is on unfortunately.

But I think at age 5 they are definately old enough to have some alone time. So I wouldn't feel bad about it.

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momuveight2B

· #12 · Mar 12, 2007

I would do the same. Is there a reason to worry about your five year being in another room? If so then put her in the room with you. If not then five is old enough to be in another room doing an activity that you have decided on beforehand. I would leave the doors open so I could hear.

As I had more children naptimes didn't happen. I just wore the baby in the sling and they would fall asleep as needed.

BTW I do not play with my children or entertain them in any way. I expect them to do this for themselves. Our home is full of enrichment activities and opportunities for creative play. There are always other children around to play with. If they are old enough to demand to be out of the sling then I expect them to entertain themselves so I can get things done.

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The4OfUs

· #13 · Mar 12, 2007

Quote:

Originally Posted by phathui5

She's five. Unless there are behavior problems you didn't mention (where she would need constant supervision), I don't see anything wrong with leaving a five year old alone long enough to get the baby down for a nap.
<snip>
It's not neglect. There's nothing wrong with him playing alone long enough to put your dd to sleep. Not a thing.

Quote:

Originally Posted by AmieV

The thing I don't understand when I see these posts, and this is not directed at the OP, is the idea that we are supposed to be constantly interacting with the kids all day long. I believe from what I have read that it is both beneficial and necessary for kids to have their own space and time to play independently. Obviously I'm not talking about neglect here...just that my daughter and I often spend time together in the same room where I'm not necessarily actively engaging her in play and she comes up with some pretty creative ways to occupy herself on her own that I feel is good for her development. And I feel perfectly confident letting her hang out while I spend 15 minutes nursing her sister.

: Depending on if it's a work day or not (I work at home), my 3-yo either stays in his room with a gate on the door while I get his sister down for a nap, playing by himself - or, he watches a video and plays quietly (as quietly as a 3-yo can play) in the room while she snoozes on my lap while I work. As pp said, unless there's a special situation with your 5-yo, I can't think of a reason she wouldn't be able to entertain herself safely for a while while you got your younger one to sleep. Clearly I wouldn't leave my 3-yo in the kitchen by himself, but in his bedroom where all the furniture is bolted to the walls, there are no mini blind cords, and he's got a bunch of toys he loves, NO problem. And when he's up in the office area with me, there's also no problem because it's his play area too (finished attic) .

I'm not big on bribes, but IMHO, if there was ever a time to use a video or a bribe

, it would be when you're trying to get a younger sibling to sleep. On difficult days, our bribes usually involve chocolate or Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood.

And also, a big

: to eliminate the 'mommy guilt' about not entertaining your child every moment of the day - they need time to just *be*...to figure things out for themselves, to develop their own way to play.

Good luck!

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