[Pookietooth]

I have been trying to figure out how to manage an outing around
my 16 month old's nap, and have been very frustrated by it. First of all, he never naps at the same time, no matter whether we stay home all day or go out. It can be hard to get out in the morning, because he is often very clingy and wants to nurse all morning -- just getting myself something to eat is difficult. Also, it can take a long time for him to wind down for a nap, sometimes an hour, and he never sleeps for the same length of time, so I never know when he will be ready to wake up (sometimes it's just whenever I get up to go to the bathroom, as I lie down with him when he naps in order for him to stay asleep).

Often, if I wait to take him anywhere until he falls alseep for his nap, it can get to be so late, that by the time he wakes up, it's nearly the end of the day and too late to go anywhere except maybe to the park up the street (which I don't like because at that time, it's full of older kids that tend to be rather rough). If I take him out before he naps, he often is very fussy, or falls asleep in the car, and he since doesn't stay asleep in the car very well, he will wake up after 30 (or 45) minutes, then be unable to fall asleep again and spends the rest of the day very cranky and fussy and impossible to deal with. How do other people handle this? Do you ever get to go on longer outings, like trips to farther away places? What about shopping at more than one store in one day?? I didn't see anything about in in other posts, which surprised me. I am starting to feel pretty stir crazy, as I am a full time stay-at-home mom of a very active young toddler.

:

Help!

 

[kerc]

(just to understand your post)...you're wanting to get out of the house. I'm assuming like to the park and whatnot? Is he still taking a morning nap? If not, I'd go out then. As in as soon as you get up, get out the door.

I guess my advice would be to try a naptime routine ... ours at home is nurse, story, cuddle and then we make this big thing out of wrapping up dd's babies and putting them to bed. That's the signal it is time for napping (and nighttime sleeping too!).

what are your days like? the same basic pattern every day? different every day? He might take some comfort in knowing the routine (not a schedule). Maybe get out (at least outside) every day around the same time.

talk to him about what's going on. is the fussiness because something different is going on or because you're out and about?

 

[slightly crunchy]

I don't have any real advice for you but wanted you to know that I had the same frustration around that age. I am having it again just recently, though not as much (now it is because he is dropping his nap).

I agree with the last poster, get out of the house first thing in the morning. My son has always gone down for a nap more easily when we get outside or just be busy out and about in the mornings, as this gets him tired.

Sometimes, if I was really going crazy, I would just take him for an outing even if I knew he would be cranky, etc. It can be maddening to feel like you're stuck inside the house all day alone. I am not the most social person even, but I *have* to get out of the house every day or I will go nuts.

I also wanted to encourage you about the napping. I had to hold or lay next to my son for naps, and he would wake up every time I got up. Rarely slept in the car. All of a sudden one day, he started taking two and three hour naps by himself (well, stayed asleep after I nursed him down). I want to say this started at 20 months or so, and then a few weeks later it was very consistent. Now he will even fall asleep in the car on the way home from somewhere, and when we get home I can lay him down and nurse him back to sleep. So, it does get easier.

 

[Hope'smom]

I'm with Kerc--we have the exact same routine every day. And it works.
And we have routines around naps and bedtime. That helps a lot.
As for getting out in the day:
we do whatever it is we are going to do for the day first thing, right after breakfast. This means for me that *I* have to work around their schedule. So I am in and out of the shower by 6:30 AM at the very latest, and I feed everyone by 8. By 8:30 we are gone. This is the best time of day for a lot of things --the stores are relatively empty on a weekday first thing in the morning (like groceries, etc., the malls don't open until 10--but you can cruise in an empty mall with a stroller!)--, and the neighborhood is empty of joggers so we don't cause a traffic jam. It's nice that way.
And I have two, a two-year old and a six month old. I nurse my 6 month old right before I hope in the shower and then again right before we head out.
Frankly, I am a little stir crazy, too--but this too shall pass.
If you yearn for adult interaction, maybe consider a LLL meeting or check out whatever local moms groups there are.
Hope this helps.

 

[eminer]

Since you usually lie down with ds, have you tried letting him nap in the sling?

Personally I have no routine, and dd naps wherever we are. I find that things usually go best when I am completely laid back about sleep, but responsive and prepared to facilitate as needed. I need to -- and have learned that I can -- trust dd to sleep when she needs to. When I lose this trust and start trying to control her sleep, I get severely frustrated and dd reacts accordingly. At the opposite extreme, when I get too caught up in what I'm doing to respond to dd, that also sometimes prevents her from sleeping well.

For example, yesterday dh and I spent most of the day doing housework and computer work, and dd was very involved in that. So when we left the apartment to go to church in the evening, I was mildly concerned upon realizing that she had never taken a nap! But within a couple of blocks, she asked to be carried, then fell asleep in the rebozo and stayed asleep until just before mass started -- about 45 minutes. Went to mass, then hung out at a street festival for awhile. Dd got all excited, rode a carnival ride, ate a sugary pastry, and danced to music. She walked a little of the way home, then chatted in the rebozo, and then...fell asleep for the night in the rebozo, a couple of hours before her usual bedtime!

Today, by contrast, we got out without the rebozo, and even though she'd slept a really long time last night (went to bed early, slept late), she was *really* in need of a nap by afternoon, i.e. breaking down in tears over nothing at all. When I saw this, it occurred to me that she needed to slow down for awhile, so we went into a pizzeria and sat down. Before we left, the very tired dd had nursed to sleep. Carried her home, and she finished her nap in bed.

Sometimes, dd will nap in sling or even stroller while we are moving around. Other times, she seems very restless and I find I need to stop while she naps (e.g. in a restaurant or park). Sometimes when we stop, I can put her down in a booth or in the grass. Other times, I can tell that will wake her up, in which case I usually nurse her and hold her while she sleeps and I read or drink or whatever. Sometimes, dd naps more than once, for a short period. Other times, she naps for 3 hours. Occasionally, she skips her nap and goes to bed early.

This has pretty much been our habit all along, but there are always rough spots as dd changes. Hang in there! When you're 16 months old, sometimes you are just too busy to bother with an inconvenience like napping. Ds will probably get easier to predict as the rest of him catches up with the vastness of his aspirations.

 

[bobica]

I'm on the routine bandwagon too

A predictable routine is invaluable! Ours typically involves milk bottle then saying "night night" then going to her room, giving her her blankie and singing a song. We've been doing a variation of this for a long time & she's very responsive to it. AND, much to my chagrin

she'll also tell me "no" if she's really not ready. Not that we all want a 13 month old with a firm grasp of "no" and who also uses it appropriately

, but she really is great with the routine.

Even so, sometimes i feel like i'm on house arrest. If i don't have my act completely together in the morning, i miss my window of getting out of the house, then it's naptime (around 10:30) then lunch, etc. Working on that whole "act together" thing!

 

[Pookietooth]

Quote:

Originally Posted by eminer Since you usually lie down with ds, have you tried letting him nap in the sling? Personally I have no routine, and dd naps wherever we are.

ds doesn't usually nap very well in the sling -- he usually wakes up too easily even if he does manage to fall asleep. He is a very light sleeper, waking at the slightest sound or movement, especially when away from home. I envy anyone whose dc can sleep anywhere. I can't even usually get up at home and carry him around -- the motion wakes him. Is this unusual?

 

[indiegirl]

I was anti-routine with my first child. I somehow thought I was crunchier, cooler and wiser mama for not having one for us--no flames to any anti-rountine folks out there.

Then I had another child and all hell broke loose. I love my routines and my children are BOTH so much happier, I can't even tell you.

It's literally amazing to me to see the change in them.

I'd experiment with it if I were you--it's a big task but well worth it.

Jesse

 

[Pookietooth]

Quote:

Originally Posted by indiegirl Then I had another child and all hell broke loose. I love my routines and my children are BOTH so much happier, I can't even tell you. It's literally amazing to me to see the change in them. I'd experiment with it if I were you--it's a big task but well worth it.

Can you give some examples of routines? I have ADD, and am not very good at such things.

 

[MountainLovinMama]

I ditto the other mama's advice to create a pre-naptime routine that works for you to encourage a more consistent naptime, and to help dc know what to expect.

I would also suggest trying to get out of the house at a consistent time (I would do mornings) each day - that too will become routine, and dc might fall more easily into a more regular napping schedule if your days have a similar rythm. So, whether you are going to the park, shopping, to the pool, whatever, try to do make your outing at roughly the same time (or same time of day) each day - then come home and do your naptime routine, and hopefully, with a little time to become familiar to it, dc will anticipate the outing, and know that naptime will follow.

good luck!

 

[eminer]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pookietooth He is a very light sleeper, waking at the slightest sound or movement, especially when away from home... I can't even usually get up at home and carry him around -- the motion wakes him. Is this unusual?

No. Some babies refuse to sleep except in the sling, some refuse to sleep in the sling, and then there is everything in between. I have no idea what mix of personality, physiology, and experience is involved in these different preferences -- probably a different mix for each baby.

Btw, I agree with everyone else about the merits of getting out in the morning (IME, my dd too is happier and naps better if we get out of the apartment before noon). So how about just *nursing* ds in the sling while you get yourself something to eat? :-D If you wanted to try broadening your ds's sleep options a bit, you might consider finding e.g. a quiet area of the park when you sense he will soon be ready to nap. Then he could have a quiet, movement-free nap outside while you hung out in the park.

Erin