[A&A]

A local women's center has a sign out front that reads, "Smoking mothers will not receive an epidural." They also have other "supposed to be funny" signs about smoking, such as "leave your butt(s) in your car," so I know that they meant this as a light-hearted way to get women to think about smoking, but wow, the message that natural birth is a punishment and an epidural is a "reward" for good behavior somehow? (Would I really have to smoke to get a natural birth there? That's what I'm wondering.)

So, should I write a letter to them? If so, what should I say?

 

[Mama Poot]

In my hospital birth with my first, all drugs especially the epidural made my pain WORSE. And the doc told me all about the risk of death, paralysis, incontinence, etc caused by epidurals. So the sign should read "Women who smoke WILL get an epidural- A crappy epidural that only takes on one side so you feel all of your labor pain in one place and you will want to die"

 

[Emilie]

ugh.

see- hospitals dr.s do not see natural childbirth the way we do.

why can't i fix it for you? hmmm.... because it is not broken- it is supposed to hurt.

man.... i am getting militant. lol.

 

[A&A]

Ok, here's my letter:

Dear (Women's Center),
To my dismay, I saw your sign out front which reads, "Smoking mothers will not receive an epidural." Perhaps this was meant to be funny, but I do not find it humorous in the least. Somehow this sign implies that epidurals are desired by all women; this is not true. I have had both an epidural birth and a natural birth. My natural birth was amazing and empowering; you could not pay me enough to have another epidural. I truly hope that I would not actually have to take up smoking to be "denied" an epidural if I were a patient of yours. Please re-think the sign and your views on natural birth.

 

[mzfern]

Excellent letter!

 

[mamaverdi]

I like the letter too. Let us know if they reply.

 

[arlecchina]

I like your letter too. how sickening and demeaning.

you know, after my medical labour last time that I call torture, everyone told me for years to suck it up and shut up as well all HAVE to endure it, I believed it till I got preg again and started researching. and now I hear this from you all, things like that, and baby story on tv (I dont see cause we dont watch tv) but it's soo disgusting. and so many women never question it and just plod along, thinking they need all this intervention just to be able to preform biological functions...

I'll get off my soapbox now. these things just nauseate me.

 

[ericswifey27]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mama Poot In my hospital birth with my first, all drugs especially the epidural made my pain WORSE. And the doc told me all about the risk of death, paralysis, incontinence, etc caused by epidurals. So the sign should read "Women who smoke WILL get an epidural- A crappy epidural that only takes on one side so you feel all of your labor pain in one place and you will want to die"

I like your version way better

 

[kristenburgess]

wow the implications of that sign are pretty nasty towards natural birth! I like your letter.

It reminds me of an episode of Maternity Ward I saw years ago. The episode featured a lot of teen mamas. One of the mothers was underage and her own mother refused to sign for her to have an epidural to "teach her a lesson." I always thought that was really horrible and a violation to that young mama.

Natural birth should not be portrayed as a punishment. It's really very wonderful

 

[mostly jays]

In reading the posts regarding the smoking epidural signs, I can not believe it's a real sign? I am also a believer of the natural process and that it does not have to hurt to have a baby

Hmmmm

 

[hubris]

UGH.

Glad you wrote a letter.

Regardless of their attitude toward natural birth per se, a sign like that indicates that they consider birth to be a horrible experience. You'd think that a place that is home to hundreds and thousands of births would know better.

Hope they reconsider the appropriateness of "jokes" like that.

 

[A&A]

Quote:

Originally Posted by mostly jays In reading the posts regarding the smoking epidural signs, I can not believe it's a real sign?

Yep, real sign. Expensive-looking, too.

And I have a friend who I just found out is using one of the "medwives" there. She said that the midwife won't "let" her go over her due date, because the baby is "so big." (She doesn't look that big.)

 

[123]

A friend of mine got pegnant at 17 and delievered at 18. She was treated poorly at the hospital as "one of those pregnant teens". They never offered her an epidural, which she didn't think to ask for since she didn't know a lot about it. In this area they always offer/push unless you've got a birth plan, and sometimes even then. She had the baby naturally and learned that she could cope with the pain and that she was strong.

With her next three children (she was older and married) she was offered an epidural every time and declined it, because she knew she was capable. And this is a very mainstream person. She just didn't see the need for one, since she already knew she could do it.

So sometimes "punishment" of this type turns out to be a very good thing. If she had had an epidural with her first I doubt she would have refused with any of the others.

 

[huggerwocky]

Quote:

Originally Posted by 123 So sometimes "punishment" of this type turns out to be a very good thing. If she had had an epidural with her first I doubt she would have refused with any of the others.

Or it makes the person feel helpless and emotionally disturbed.

I have no appreciation for the sentiment it's ok to excercise power through pain relief or lack thereof.

 

[Robin926]

Wow, that's a really crappy sign! "Don't do anything we disagree with, or we'll PUNISH you with HORRIBLE, EXCRUCIATING NATURAL childbirth!" Ugh. Natural childbirth should be about empowerment and reveling in the feminine body, not a punishment and something to avoid.

Slightly OT, my birth center had a sign outside that read: "If we see you smoking, we will have no choice but to assume you are on fire and douse you with water." That wasn't for the moms, though, but for visitors and partners not to smoke around the entrance where pregnant mamas and babies were coming in and out.

 

[onlyboys]

Quote:

Originally Posted by 123 A friend of mine got pegnant at 17 and delievered at 18. She was treated poorly at the hospital as "one of those pregnant teens". They never offered her an epidural, which she didn't think to ask for since she didn't know a lot about it. In this area they always offer/push unless you've got a birth plan, and sometimes even then. She had the baby naturally and learned that she could cope with the pain and that she was strong. With her next three children (she was older and married) she was offered an epidural every time and declined it, because she knew she was capable. And this is a very mainstream person. She just didn't see the need for one, since she already knew she could do it. So sometimes "punishment" of this type turns out to be a very good thing. If she had had an epidural with her first I doubt she would have refused with any of the others.

Yes! I have heard of this as well. One of my students had a natural birth forced on her by her mother, who did not "help" her at all because she wanted her daughter to not have another baby.

 

[MamaTaraX]

Quote:

Originally Posted by 123 A friend of mine got pegnant at 17 and delievered at 18. She was treated poorly at the hospital as "one of those pregnant teens". They never offered her an epidural, which she didn't think to ask for since she didn't know a lot about it. In this area they always offer/push unless you've got a birth plan, and sometimes even then. She had the baby naturally and learned that she could cope with the pain and that she was strong. With her next three children (she was older and married) she was offered an epidural every time and declined it, because she knew she was capable. And this is a very mainstream person. She just didn't see the need for one, since she already knew she could do it. So sometimes "punishment" of this type turns out to be a very good thing. If she had had an epidural with her first I doubt she would have refused with any of the others.

That might be all right except that at 17, unmarried aand all, she was being punished for being herself. She was being punished by having a natural birth. S uer the outcome was good -- later in life she did not want offered drugs. But don't you see the inherent malice in that whole story? They refused her drugs as punishement for being young and pregnant! When she was "older, wiser, and obviously better off since she's married" she is offered the "more suitable" option of birthing with drugs. No need to punish a happily married mature woman! But those horriuble teens! Punish the hell out of them! Make them labor with no recourse!!

Yes I am a natural birth advocate. And yes, I would abosltuey LOVE if no woman was ever offered drugs. But I cannot stand behind punishing young girls for being pregnant. I gave birth to my first at 18 and I walked in and said I didn't want any drugs. Should I have been punished for being young? I looked only 13. Without looking at my chart they probably thought I was. My age, marital status, fact that I'm pregnant and poor is not a reason to PUNISH me in any way shape or form. And to be nicer to me when I am sudenly older and wiser is just plain wrong. I'm sorry, this story just rubbed me the wrong way. I couldn't sit here idly and not say anything. So many people are out to treat young parents like crap, it's really horrible. (btw, when the hospital staff reaized that I was headstrong, very mature, aand very wise and knowledgeable, I got far more respect than when I was just some dumb, young, poor, non-white, knocked up girl -- when they saw me as the intelligent woman that I was, and still am, it was different. Unfortunately not every young mama is like me)

Namaste, Tara

 

[kristenburgess]

Quote:

Originally Posted by MamaTaraX That might be all right except that at 17, unmarried aand all, she was being punished for being herself. She was being punished by having a natural birth. S uer the outcome was good -- later in life she did not want offered drugs. But don't you see the inherent malice in that whole story? They refused her drugs as punishement for being young and pregnant! When she was "older, wiser, and obviously better off since she's married" she is offered the "more suitable" option of birthing with drugs. No need to punish a happily married mature woman! But those horriuble teens! Punish the hell out of them! Make them labor with no recourse!! Yes I am a natural birth advocate. And yes, I would abosltuey LOVE if no woman was ever offered drugs. But I cannot stand behind punishing young girls for being pregnant. I gave birth to my first at 18 and I walked in and said I didn't want any drugs. Should I have been punished for being young? I looked only 13. Without looking at my chart they probably thought I was. My age, marital status, fact that I'm pregnant and poor is not a reason to PUNISH me in any way shape or form. And to be nicer to me when I am sudenly older and wiser is just plain wrong. I'm sorry, this story just rubbed me the wrong way. I couldn't sit here idly and not say anything. So many people are out to treat young parents like crap, it's really horrible. (btw, when the hospital staff reaized that I was headstrong, very mature, aand very wise and knowledgeable, I got far more respect than when I was just some dumb, young, poor, non-white, knocked up girl -- when they saw me as the intelligent woman that I was, and still am, it was different. Unfortunately not every young mama is like me) Namaste, Tara

Well said Tara and I totally agree. At 19 I had a homebirth, but it was 100% my choice. It is wrong to withhold medication from a mother of any age if she wants it, and it is especially wrong to withhold medication from a young mother to "punish" her or to "teach her a lesson."

I'd like for all young mamas to have wonderful, natural births like I did, but it should be their education choice to have that!

 

[ColoradoMama]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Skrimpy It reminds me of an episode of Maternity Ward I saw years ago. The episode featured a lot of teen mamas. One of the mothers was underage and her own mother refused to sign for her to have an epidural to "teach her a lesson." I always thought that was really horrible and a violation to that young mama.

It is really hard to not believe that SOME WOMEN DON'T DESERVE TO BE MOTHERS! Wow - it's not like that young mama needed support or anything - yea, that's really teaching her a lesson.

Back on topic - great letter!

I can't wait to hear if you get a response!

 

[123]

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