[momtoS]

Okay I had a midwife with the first...almost two years ago. It was alot worse than I was prepared for....so I am thinking of doing drugs this time...anyone else? Is there any words of advice?

 

[ktmelody]

My first two children were all natural. I had an OB with my first and a midwife with my second.
My 3rd and 4th I had epidurals both times. THey were also hospital/OB deliveries.
I must say that my worst and most painful was my second. (the one with the midwife.
I did natural twice and I really see no reasont to do it again since i had no bad symptoms from the epidural.

I am pregnant with my 5th now and I must say i will be opting for the epidural. I just felt so much better afterwards. But i do think it is a personal choice. Just dont feel bad if you do choose drugs.

Kate
Mom to Olivia (9), Veda (8), Franky (2 1/2), Wendy (10 months) and newbie to be April 13th 2007

 

[CarolynnMarilynn]

Your second birth will likely be faster and easier to deal with. My first birth was really long and very painful. With me second, I begged to have a VE because I felt that if I wasn't very far along I wanted to abandon our homebirth plans and go in to the hospital for pain relief. As it turns out, after only a few hours of labour I was in transition, and I knew I could handle it from there. It was a great birth.

An epidural can seem like a panacea to all the worst things about labour. They can work really well; they can also make things worse if the block isn't a good one, if you are only anesthetized on one side, or if it wears off sooner than you wanted -- it knocks out your own natural painkilling substances your body releases, and so if they epidural doesn't work, nothing else is either. There are many stories of women who had really unsatisfactory blocks, or complications (minor and serious), and there are many women who were totally satisfied. My point is that it is a bit of a gamble, and you need to know that going in.

Getting an epdirul also means continuous fetal monitoring, and staying lying down in the bed, an IV, and a machine to monitor your blood pressure. You can't really move around, and you are not able to help your baby come out by squatting, lunging, standing, walking, or other physiologic positions. This can lead to an increase in caesarian sections, or assisted vaginal births.

There are other real risks to an epidural, and for the baby, too. Do your research first. Maybe a doula, or hypnotherapy can help you this time? Or consider a waterbirth, as the pain is reduced with the water. You have a lot of options that have no risk to you or your baby, and may make your experience a positive one.

Good luck on your journey!

 

[wanderinggypsy]

I had an epi with my first after about 20 hours of labor. My second was an unmedicated birth at a hospital, and he was born in less than 6 hours. What I tell all my girlfriends is "If you want that epi, don't beat yourself up over it. Just get it." I think that we all put a lot of thought into the birth and how we want it to go, and sure, it's important, but not as important as what comes next. Kind of like girls who put crazy thought and time and money into planning their weddings without really thinking about the marriage itself.

Do what is going to make you feel the best about the birth. If you can, just put it on your birth plan that you want to be open to an epi if you come to a point where you feel that you need it. Try and find a fairly crunchy OB who will honour your whole set of values.

 

[Anglyn]

I went all natural with #3 and it was horrible. I plowed through all the pain and expected that endorphine rush you get wihtout the drugs to kick in. It never did. I was left in shock, truly and just wanted them to take the baby away from me and leave me alone. I was just so glad it was over. I felt cheated. Where was the wonderful birth everyone else talks about? It took me months to bond with the baby and it was the only time I had ppd. Im not saying it was the fault of the natural birth but I truly cant do it again. Not wanting to go through that again and feeling guilty if I didnt was a main reason I started second guessing my choice to have a fourth. My easiest birth was my epidural by far, even with the "hole" in it. I didnt get it until an hour before birth anyway. And that last hour with my natural birth was the one where I was praying do die. The first day I felt so much better than I had after myhospital births, but then the second and third and fourth days, I ached all over, it felt like someone had beat me with a baseball bat all over my entire body. I realize this was from me tensing up so much. Maybe if I had had some type of hypnobirthing classes or something. Plus, there was no drugs and no shots or anything for baby, but other than that, my midwives intervened a lot, made me get out of the tub, which was nowhere near warm enough anyway, broke my water and made me lay on my side so they could reach better when I truly and instinctively wanted to birth in an upright position.

Im not trying to get into a debate with anyone. You are right, it is best for baby. My third child was so much more alert andnursed right away etc. etc. And maybe my issues came from being unprepared for it. Im just saying, do whats best for you. I finally decided if it was a choice between another epi or not having another baby, I was having the epi!!

That being said, I will try to go without it as long as possible, but I am going with an ob this time. Last time, ds2 was almost too big, everyone in the room, midwives included, thought we were going to have to call the paramedics because he was NOT coming out. So Im terrified the next one might be bigger and end in Csection. I do realize that being in a hospital increases that risk, but if it seems likely, Id rather start off in a hospital, becuase I remember how much I Did NOT want to move from where I was when they were discussing the possibility.

I totally feel like the only person on the face of the earth whose natural birth wasnt all that, wasnt wonderful, wasnt way better than thier hospital births. So, while Im not glad yours was bad for your sake, it is nice to know Im not a total freak!

 

[starbound25]

I've had two totally natural births in the hospital, and I am having number 3 natural as well
I was dissapointed that number 2 was a harder delivery than number 1 especially when they are only a year apart, I figured number 2 would be so much easier, my body had just done this, not so!! even with her being harder I am still going natural, it is what we are built for in my humble opinion, and both babies were super alert eyes open and nursing immediatly.
go with what you feel best about, research both again and go with your heart
All I want is a water birth this time, I was dialating too fast both other times gggrr, they better have that tub filing when I'm admited!

 

[mezzydotes]

The only advice I have to give is that only you can know what's best for you. Give it lots of thought over the upcoming months and just be confident in whatever choice you finally make.

I had a very difficult birth with my first (he was posterior so it was long and painful) and was really apprehensive with my second. But then I told myself that I had pretty much seen the worst of it with ds1, so I would be able to handle my second easily enough. I opted to have gas with him and was really happy with the birth - it was a very straightforward, smooth delivery and much, much less painful than my first.

Good luck with whichever path you choose

 

[Anglyn]

Just want to say that I LOVE MCD because everyone here is very supportive. Its the only place I trust people to give you true facts and to look at all sides of an issue and in the end to tell you to do whats best for YOU.

You guys all rock!

 

[User101]

As someone who had a medicalized first birth and a completely natural second, I can honestly say that my second, while at times more intense, was definitely faster, gentler, and easier to recover from. If you do decide to go the medical route, please, please, please educate yourself on the possible implications for yourself and your baby. The interventions don't work for everyone (says the mom who had three failed epidurals and had to endure contractions I could feel from the peak to the end--OUCH!)

Any chance it was this particular midwife? And have you considered a doula?

Good luck making your decision!

 

[momtoS]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Anglyn I went all natural with #3 and it was horrible. I plowed through all the pain and expected that endorphine rush you get wihtout the drugs to kick in. It never did. I was left in shock, truly and just wanted them to take the baby away from me and leave me alone. I was just so glad it was over. I felt cheated. Where was the wonderful birth everyone else talks about? It took me months to bond with the baby and it was the only time I had ppd. Im not saying it was the fault of the natural birth but I truly cant do it again. Not wanting to go through that again and feeling guilty if I didnt was a main reason I started second guessing my choice to have a fourth. My easiest birth was my epidural by far, even with the "hole" in it. I didnt get it until an hour before birth anyway. And that last hour with my natural birth was the one where I was praying do die. The first day I felt so much better than I had after myhospital births, but then the second and third and fourth days, I ached all over, it felt like someone had beat me with a baseball bat all over my entire body. I realize this was from me tensing up so much. Maybe if I had had some type of hypnobirthing classes or something. Plus, there was no drugs and no shots or anything for baby, but other than that, my midwives intervened a lot, made me get out of the tub, which was nowhere near warm enough anyway, broke my water and made me lay on my side so they could reach better when I truly and instinctively wanted to birth in an upright position.

This is how I felt....I thought that delivery would make me feel strong and empowered. Nope. I felt embrassed, ashamed and in shock. I couldn't even latch on dd...the midwife hooked us up because I was just staring into space. I feel with some pain relief I will be in more control and be happier....and more able to cuddle the baby....

 

[imosbc]

I tried to go natural with both kids, but only made it with one (not my choice, the epidural just wouldn't work). I guess that's not technically "natural", but I got all the pain without the relief, so I'm taking at least half credit for it

Although my semi natural birth was a lot more painful than my drugged up one, it was so much more rewarding and an experience I wouldn't trade for a painfree birth. I bonded with my second son so much faster and I was just so much happier afterward.

My advice would be research research research and skip the lamaze class--find a different birthing method(that's just a personal opinion..I was so much happier with the bradley method..it made much more sense). Women experience varying degrees of pain during birth, some don't feel any pain. My sister in law is the biggest wuss I've ever met in my life, yet she can go through labor without even the slightest urge for drugs. It truly is a personal decision that really can't be made until you get into the situation. Either way, you're a champ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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[Anglyn]

Oh, my natural birth was only natural because I had no choice at that point. I mean, had an epidural been availible, I'd have taken it! Though Im glad I didnt, Im glad it wasnt. I dont regret it, because it was better for my child. I just dont think I can do it again.

I was reading about hypnobirthing and it says that your bodys not in any actual pain, its all mental basically and you can be taught to overcome that. Heres my issue: even if it IS "all in my head", I can't overcome that with "mind over matter" if I dont BELIEVE it, right? And I dont.

: Sorry, I just dont, because with my first labor, after years of hearing my mom say how easy it was for her, and assuming genetics, I figured I'd said right through it, no problems, I took the prepared childbirth classes and learned how to breath and everything. If it were truly only as painful as what I expected in my mind, then mine should have been not painful at all. Unless Im missing something inthe philosiphy, which is possible.

 

[Truvie]

My second birth was completely different from my birth, even though both my kids were posterior with their heads turned at the same funny angle.

My second labor would have been easier for me if I didn't have preconceived ideas about how it was going to go. My first labor was very long (25 hrs of active labor, with 5 hrs pushing). I had it in my head that my second would be 12 hours with less pushing. What I got was 4 hours start to finish. It was way more intense that my first. No one could have convinced me that it would be a short labor; even when I had almost pushed my baby out, and my midwife was scurrying around getting blankets, etc, I thought to myself, "that woman doesn't know what she's doing; this baby won't be born for hours yet." If I had paid more attention to what was actually going on, I think I could have handled the pain better. I didn't handle the pain well, partially because it was just so intense and partially because I thought the end wasn't in sight for a long, long time.

I don't know if this made much sense! I'm not looking forward to my next labor either ... I'm going to go look up hypobirthing now ...

 

[babyluvr]

both of mine were natural, but with the first i remembre thinking how glad i was to be at home because if i could have begged drugs off someone i would have and that's not what i wanted. my first labor was only about 10 hrs, but certainly more painful than i had expected.

my second birth was so easy, i labored in the tub and my dh and mom called the midwife while i wasn't sure it was time. i was 8cm when she arrived and pushed ds out shortly thereafter. for me, laboring in water made ALL the difference.

if you do decide to go natural again, i encourage you to have lots and lots of different ideas for pain mgmt and go over that with all who will be involved in your birth...water, acupressure, birth ball, music, hypnobirthing, whatever! the more tools you have, the more likely you'll find something that will help you.

 

[Anglyn]

I think the hardest part of my first birth was my preconcieved notion that it would be not bad and I was sooo unprepared for the pain. So with my second I had the epi, but was prepared for horrible, awful pain and it never really happened. I was up on my knees rocking and it was fine, it was just getting to the mightly uncomfortable part when they gave me the epi and in less than an hour, she was born. So, I figured, heck I handled it just fine up til then and there was only an hour to go, so I can do this with the third. (All my labors were about six hours btw, they say shorter labours are more intense, I dont know how true that is, but mine have certainly been intense).

The funny thing is, I was FINE up until he started trying to come down the birth canal and couldnt. I THOUGHT my water had broke but it hadnt. After an hour of horrible pain I finally let them check me, like they wanted to do earlier, and when they did AROM,he came in no time. So sometimes I think, if that last hour hadnt happened, if Id let them check me and break my water sooner..... Of course I had AROM with baby number one and that was when it started hurting to a point I couldnt tolerate so I was totally against having it done (dd, my smallest babe, is the only one who broke her own water. Funny story, my hospital room was full, my mom, dh, sdad, brother and sil, until I said, "my water just broke" funny how that cleared the room!)

Yeah, looking back, its that last hour that seems to be the part I find unbearable. Oh, well and with number three, he was the only one I actually felt the baby come out (dd was epi, ds1 I had a local before they cut me, with ds2 I refused to be cut and let it tear)

Anyway, after all that, Im still considering trying to go all natural, but I still feel like I want the backup. Heck, Ive got eight more months to figure it out. A lot will depend on my ob's philosiphy. Boy, have I got a lot of questions for her! Plus, they just added a m/w to thier practice, so that is an option. Ive always thought ob's and m/w's shoudl work togather to cover all options.

 

[UltimateSerj]

i had natural with all 3 and can't imagine doing it any other way!

 

[MoMommy]

I was trying to go all natural with DD, and I made it through labor and was doing pretty well. After pushing for 2.5 excruciating hours, DD was still at 0 station, so my doctor ordered a C-section.

I still feel like my body failed me, but I'm hoping for better this time. I'm going for a natural VBAC. This time I'll have a mw instead of an OB and a doula as well so hopefully that will help.

I do remember wishing I would die and screaming, "Cut her out! Just cut her out!" It was really awful. When the anesthesiologist got there and gave me the spinal, I immediately felt relief and I told him I wanted to kiss him. So I can definitely see the attraction of pain relief.

 

[wendyland]

I've had two epidurals. Both times, i thought i would do natural. With the first, i had horrible back labor and an epidural that was too strong. I never felt an urge to push.

The second was great. The epidural wasn't too strong. I still had the urge to push, but no really bad pain. It wore off fast. My daughter was alert and nursed immediately. Didn't seem to affect her. I'm going to play it by ear again this time, but will probably get an epidural again.

 

[RobbyRe]

All 3 of mine have been a little different. I was induced with the first and had an epidural, ended up with a reaction headache that had to be treated, and NEVER wanted another epi. Had the 2nd natural, and no pain meds, and she was in a hurry, just over 4 1/2 hours total labor. But, while a fast labor is in some ways a blessing, it can also be difficult, and I had a very hard time staying on top of things. I had a doula, too, and still, the feeling of being completely out of control during a precipitous labor is quite overwhelming. I don't regret going med-free with her at all, and my recovery was amazing! I decided to do a "wait and see" approach with the 3rd. In the end I decided to have the epi again, and this time I had no complications from it, nor did baby. 6 hr 15 minutes of labor for that one, and my best recovery of all 3, honestly.
I'd say, whether you want to do epi or med-free, either way, research the benefits and possible problems that could arise. Be knowledgable and make a truly informed decision! It's not a failing on your part to choose meds! But know the risks and benefits. I will have no qualms about choosing pain meds again with this one if I feel I need them, if the benefits outweigh the risks IMO. But each mom has to make that assessment for herself and her baby given her particular circumstances.

 

[holyhelianthus]

my first birth was on pitocin and an epidural. i hated it! not being in control or being able to hold an alert baby. Lily was wisked away right away because i couldn't function. Mable's birth was waaaaay better! they didn't give me pitocin until i was stuck at 9cm for a few hours and it was like night and day/heaven and hell. i went from handling it to screamng and crying and wanting to die. no pitocin for me ever again!!!! but not having the epi made a huuuuuuge diffrence! i had no tearing or cut i was alert and active right after the birth as well as the baby and i was ready to go home right away. it hurt like a muther (no pun intended) but it was sooo worth it in the end! being able to be alive afterwards really was a blessing. i got home and bounced right back into our lives. not so with the epi. i was laid up for a week.