[jgale]

I use the word 'naughty' sort of tongue in cheek here, because I know that 1 is still a baby, but he has been a handful lately! This toddler stuff is much harder for me to cope with than infant stuff.<br><br>
My sweet, co-sleeping, breastfeeding, attachment-parented angel has been hitting lately... a lot. I can see that he mostly does it when he's frustrated: i.e. I am changing his diaper, removing him from something he is enjoying, offering him food when he doesn't want it, etc. He gives me a really evil look, and then swats at me with his hand (usually at my face if he can reach it).<br><br>
Although I try hard not to show it, I can't help being a little bit amused. My DH and I just think it's really funny that he has such strong opinions about things now (all of a sudden). However, I have a fair amount of anxiety about being a lax or ineffective 'discipliner' especially because I already feel defensive about my parenting style being outside of the mainstream.<br><br>
Anyway, we to stop him and say "Don't hit mama" or "We don't hit" or whatever. I tend to take it more seriously when he is hitting another child or one of our dogs. In the past week or so, he has been hitting my husband and I so often that it almost seems like ignoring it and just redirecting him without acknowledging the hitting works better. BEcause when I stop him and say firmly no hitting, as soon as I let go of his hand, he reaches out to hit me again.<br><br>
Sorry this is so long.<br><br>
Any suggestions? Thanks. Jessi

 

[sincitymama]

Right there with you mama. I think I assumed this toddler stuff wouldn't happen till later. Sigh. Anyway the only thing we really do for hitting is to tell him 'hitting hurts', 'that hurts mama', hands are for helping not for hitting'. Something like that. And show him gentle touches. Take his hand and say 'we use gentle touches on mama/daddy/kitty/whoever'. That kind of thing. Like you we try not ot draw too much attention to it, because we also learned early that a noticeable reaction just makes things worse. Maybe no real help from me, but some commiseration for sure!<br><br>
Slightly OT, but I find it hysterical that he tries to be 'sneaky' now. Like I'll tell him something isn't for touching, so he'll stand near it, give me this funniest 'I'm so innocent' grin, while his hand is moving right back to the outlet or whatever it is. So funny.

 

[erinl1972]

i've got a 14mos old who does the same! i don't know what to do. it's up- setting esp. when it's our cats/her friends/me (dh rarely gets it). i've been setting her down when it's me and saying hitting hurtsa mommy then i touch her gaently and say i like to be touched gently. i offer for her to try again. please-other ideas?

 

[canadiangranola]

I read somewhere (sorry, can't remember where) that toddlers only hear about 1/3 of what we are saying verbally, and that understanding comes for actions (HIT) and Nouns (MAMA) first.....so if you say "Don't hit mama" the kid hears/understands...hit mama. "DON"T" is a pretty abstract concept at this age. This is something that I tried to implement when trying to get ds to stop throwing his food on the floor when in his highchair. Instead of saying "don't throw food" i would say"give the food to mama" or "put it in the bowl".<br><br>
Tried to be consistent, and it seems to have worked.<br><br>
Try "Hands are for ....loving, holding, waving, clapping" whatever you can think of that is a positive.<br>
You might also try (although he's young) helping verbalize his feelings "Are you frustrated/mad because...?" "I see you don't want the cheese.." etc.<br><br>
Good luck.

 

[amybw]

wow, i am here with you all too.<br><br>
I have an almost 1 yr old climber and biter.<br>
I know it is teething so i hand him something and tell him you can bite this....<br><br>
and i put him back onthe floor and say "feet go on the floor, not the couch"<br>
or "uh oh, we sit on the couch, standing is for the floor"<br><br>
thanks CG. that makes sense to not say "don't" in the heat of the moment it is so hard to remember these things <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"><br><br>
I think i have really screwed up and have said, "no, no, that's bad" a few too many times. He will climb on top of the table and look at me and say "baa" and grin. ugh.<br>
I try to differentiate between good and bad and praise, praise, praise...<br>
"oh that was a good choice Jeremy, you were nice tothe kitty" ... "good job, you put your cup on the tray" and he grins when we say those things and eats it up.<br>
hope i am not a bad mommy by using "good" and "bad" I just try hard to make sure i distinguish that the action was bad or good. Not that HE is bad. Make sense?<br><br>
Thanks for being here. It keeps me in check!<br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"><br>
Amy

 

[Destinye]

Just looking for ideas! My dd is 1 next week and she does not hit but she hugs the poor cats so hard loving on them its almost as bad!