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I have read a few of the GD books out there...I really like Alfie Kohn's explanation of things but, sigh, don't think it would hold my DP's attention for very long.<br><br>
This subject is one of the most tense in our partnership. A little background...we started dating when my son was just about to turn three. I have been guiding and practicing GD and attachment since day 1 and am not going to sway from this. He is a very good man and a good father but is fairly clueless when it comes to this subject. He doesn't have a lot of patience though when the little guy gets out of control. My take during an all out fit is to put myself and my son in a safe, calm environment, let him go through his emotions (he doesn't ever try to injure anybody) even if that means, gulp, him getting nasty with me<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"> He calms down eventually and during that realizes that I was there for him if he needed me, and also that although his emotions are strong, they don't last forever. (he's three) All very important. My DP's take is that if a child screams "NO" during a fit he should be told that is not okay behavior. He uses phrases like "won't tolerate disrespect" and things of that nature. I think that a child has a voice, and if it's nasty then there is a reason for it usually. My son isn't nasty for no reason. It's either he is tired, overwhelmed, hungry, etc. Sigh, just one of the examples of where we differ on opinion. Anyways, I basically said I would take over all the GD stuff until he read something and he agreed. Any suggestions? I have playful parenting, and he might read that. FYI, he borrowed like 7 episodes of Super Nanny from his mom<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/disappointed.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="disappointed"> and after that he wrote me a letter on how he wanted some posted rules and what not, SIGH.<br><br>
Thanks.
 

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I have not watched it, but I've heard the the Alfie Kohn DVD is very good. If you like Unconditional Parenting but he won't make it through the book, I'd be looking to rent/buy the DVD.<br><br>
I love How to Talk so Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk. It's inspired by Unconditional Parenting and an easy "how to" read. From the paragraph you wrote about communication, I think that one would be great for your DP.
 

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The Secret of Parenting by Anthony Wolf. I think it would fit your dh's mindset a whole lot more than Kohn's stuff.
 

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Discussion Starter #4
Thank you. I have the How to Talk so Kids will Listen...book, so I will give that a try and The Secret of Parenting book. I didn't know Alfie Kohn had Unconditional Parenting out on DVD, that sounds like a great option for DP!
 
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