Mothering Forum banner

1 - 3 of 3 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,112 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
<p> </p>
<p>My sons are in their second year at a small private school-- kindergarten and ninth grade.  At p/t conferences a few weeks ago, the school requested that both boys go to counseling. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>I don't have an issue with them going to counseling, at all.  I'm just nervous about finding a counselor that fits.  I've read the typical stuff on Hoagie's, etc., about finding professionals who work with the gifted.  I have a checklist of questions to ask.  I guess I'm looking for more personal advice or suggestions from parents whose dc have gone to counseling.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ds6's teacher is of the opinion that any kid who's involved in divorce or separation should go to counseling.  It's a little frustrating that she attributes ds' behaviors to our "family situation."  Honestly, ds has adjusted amazingly.  He has <em>always</em> been high-strung, contrary, quirky, loud, boundary-pushing, imaginative, and smart.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He's doing well academically, so that's not an issue.  Every day he's playing the clown, to get attention.  He hums and sings to himself.  He doesn't want to join in group activities, and doesn't always want to follow directions.  </p>
<p> </p>
<p>His teacher also says he's "in his own world," and "manipulative."  [I'd say he can't be too out of touch with reality if he can work a room, but that's just me!  <span><img alt="shy.gif" height="15" src="http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/shy.gif" width="15"></span>]  The school also wants him to be evaluated, btw.  He does have some mild sensory issues and anxiety.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ds13 also has mild sensory issues and anxiety.  He was evaluated last year, and is "highly gifted with learning disabilities" (slow processing speed and executive function issues, specifically).  He has been having trouble getting homework assignments done and in on time.  He's not always cooperative about doing his work in class, either-- but he gets A's on his tests.  The guidance counselor is concerned that he is disorganized, perfectionistic, and inflexible.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Both of my kids are "odd ducks."  Ds6 thinks it's hilarious to tell people that he's a girl, or a demon, or a creature that he's invented.  Ds13 gets along with his classmates, but hasn't made friends (he does have other friends).  He loves programming, robotics, and Monty Python (aka, he's a nerd!).  He's a passionate "bleeding heart liberal," though he doesn't have a very nuanced understanding of the issues.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>How do I find a counselor who will "get" my kids, and not want to fix parts of them that don't need fixing?</p>
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
481 Posts
<p>I think I'd be more concerned about finding teachers who "get" my kids, than a counselor.  What issues, exactly, does the school think should be addressed?  Are they gifted-related? Would a counselor help him with group activities when he doesn't want to?  I'm not sure I understand (or agree) with the school's position about getting counseling. Shouldn't the first step be a behavior plan, if that's a big concern?</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I'm not opposed to seeking counseling, I just don't understand why the school is pushing it.</p>
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
12,445 Posts
<p>In order to find a counselor that doesn't try to fix your kids' quirks, you need to be very specific about the issues you want addressed. Are there specific issues that you think your kids could use help with? What is the school seeing that is concerning them? Do you agree with their concerns?</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The other thing to think about is the sensory issues -- is it enough to warrant occupational therapy? A fair number of your younger son's 'issues' might be related to sensory stuff. Addressing the behavior issues without addressing the underlying sensory issues might not be as effective.</p>
 
1 - 3 of 3 Posts
Top