[kindacrunchy]

My kids play in the closet under the stairs. They have lots of toys in there. It is like their little cubby. They have pictures that they have drawn in there.
Rule in the house: draw on paper
6 yo decided to take a crayon (that won't wash off, i thought they were washable) and draw a mural. I gave him a washcloth with soap to wash it off and the paint is coming off. I restated the rule. Told him when he has an idea, he needs to check in. If it isn't going to work for everyone, then we can brainstorm.
So, am I done? I guess I feel there needs to be more. I don't feel there has been a consequence. Or has there and I'm really thinking that a punishment is missing? That's how I was raised and although i know the difference intellectually when my instincts kick in, i don't think i can separate the two.
Please help.
I am pausing which is good for me. I am breathing. How do I wrap this up.

 

[pinksprklybarefoot]

I would have a no crayons in the closet rule for a little while. I think that the closest situation to yours that I've been in is when my stepdaughter "accidentally" cut holes in her sheets in several places. Now, we only use scissors at the kitchen table after getting permission.

We had a problem with coloring on things that shouldn't be colored on, but I made her sand one drawing off her (unfinished) bed a few months ago with sandpaper (really boring and took about twenty minutes). She hasn't done any furniture art since that, and it was a frequent problem before. She needed a consequence to see that coloring on things besides paper was a bad idea.

WRT the wall, you could try Magic Eraser. But I'm not sure if I'd let a child use one of those.

 

[kindacrunchy]

the crayons are not in the closet. they are an "at the table" thing, so that rule is in place.
won't a magic eraser take off the paint?
the crayon isn't coming off, but the paint is.
but kind of getting away from the point of my post.
where do i go from here?

 

[LilyGrace]

One of the questions I ask myself is will this happen again in the future?

If my answer is maybe or yes, then I need to change my response to the situation. If it is no, then it is sufficiently taken care of - crayons will be watched over better, kid gets a lesson on how the warm iron and an old towel gets off crayon, and a plan is set in place to encourage more communication. All good.

A consequence doesn't always need to happen. Sometimes, growing up or changing course slightly is response enough.

ETA: the point of discipline is to teach, right? Well, at some ages, prevention takes over more than actively teaching. It's always case by case, but you have to pick - is there something to teach here or something to prevent here? Most things kids will grow out of - drawing on walls, cutting hair, dumping cheerios on the floor...and the lesson is for the parent, not the child.

 

[joy_seeker]

If you have to repaint the room then I'd explain that a gallon of paint costs X amount of dollars so we won't be able to ____________ this week. For example, skipping a weekly trip to get fast food after church. It isn't a punishment, it is a natural consequence because the money has to come from somewhere to make the repairs.

However, I don't think a consequence necessarily NEEDS to happen, if you choose to just leave it since it is in a closet or find a way to clean it without spending any $$ then I think the talk and having the rule that crayons can only be used under supervision is enough. Kids generally feel bad about disappointing their parents and want to reestablish that they can be trusted; I think its important to begin that rebuilding process right away and not to let the disappointment linger and leech into other areas.

I would also make suggestions for ways to encourage that artistic instinct- perhaps trying to get your hands on some butcher paper to hang on the wall, making a project of painting a mural under supervision in an agreed upon space, installing a whiteboard or painting some chalkboard paint onto the wall. Even getting an inexpensive set of sidewalk chalk from the dollar store and oohing and ahhing over the creations before the rain washes them away. The ultimate choice depends on your budget and tolerance for such things. Ds has outgrown his little boy room and we are redecorating this summer, we will paint the walls a solid color and he will have free reign to paint things that interest him on the walls (ala' Randy Pausch in The Last Lecture). He gets to get his creative juices flowing and it will be planned and interesting (and easily painted over if we ever want to move

)

 

[ssh]

The magic eraser won't take off the paint. Just barely wet a corner and gently rub the crayon mark. My 3.5 year old DD drew on the hall wall last week. It came off very easily. We usually give her washable markers. They come off with water, and if you leave the marker on too long magic eraser will remove the light stain.