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need advice-bedtime for 2

379 Views 3 Replies 4 Participants Last post by  alaska
We have a fifteen month old and are expecting our second baby in a few months. I spend a lot of time laying with my son to help him fall asleep at bedtime and naps (and sometimes have to go return and help him fall back asleep during both). I am wondering how I will do this with two as my husband is not always able to be home to help. I am planning to try and lay with them both when I need to, but think the baby might be too much of a distraction for my toddler, especially if he or she is making noise. I don't know anyone with kids close in age who doesn't let one or both cry, but I don't feel I can do that. Does anyone have advice???
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Ds was 22 months old when dd was born. Dd would normall just snooze in the sling in the morning. Then I would lay down with them both in the afternoon to nurse/cuddle them to sleep. It doesn't always work smoothly, but for the most part it works out best for us to do this. Ds is now 3 1/3 yrs. and dd is 18 mos. They both still need naps, although we don't always get them. This is till the basic idea for us, though. We lay down. I nurse dd while reading to ds. After dd is finished, I snuggle ds if he is still awake. Sometimes we read a little longer and then snuggle.

My DS was a bit older when DD was born, 2 1/2, but I do have to say that it was a lot easier than I'd anticipated...the first month or so was trying, but right now, it's pretty easy.

I'll tell you what it was like when DD was first born: DS was used to petting my hair to fall asleep. When DD arrived, I couldn't always let him do that. I was always sitting next to him in bed, but I couldn't nurse lying down at first (DD was so tiny, and I just couldn't get the hang of it.) That upset him but I just did the best I could. I'd read to him, rub his back, sing songs.... After I'd nurse DD, I'd lay her down, and hug DS and let him pet my hair as he drifted off. Half the time, DD would be screaming at me because she didn't want to be lying down, she wanted to be up looking around. It never kept DS awake. He'd fall asleep within minutes, I'd scoop her up, and take her into the other room until she got sleepy. Those were the easier days. On some days it just wouldn't work no matter what I did, and I would take them both for a drive until at least one of them was asleep.

I remember reading something on these boards that helped IMMENSELY. It was in response to a thread just like this. The piece of advice was:

no matter what's happening - no matter how many of you are crying - just remember - in 1/2 an hour, they'll all be asleep.

So in the beginning, when DS was adjusting to having to share me at night time, when DD was a tiny baby whose witching hour unfortunately fell at the same time as DS's bed time, and when I was learning how to juggle both of them - on those nights (and there were a few) when all three of us just sat there crying in bed - I remembered those words and it helped me pull myself together.

My advice is do whatever you need to do in the first 8 wks or so to get everyone to sleep. Go for a drive. Let the kids stay up late. Whatever you need to do. eventually, a routine will emerge that works for all of you.
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