I'm not sure where to put this, but it has to do w/ "Parenting Issues", so I'll stick it here.
I met one of my neighbors back in March. She has a 7/8mo DS, and we get along pretty well. We're both SAHMs, and we go for walks together, go into town together, just hang out during the day sometimes.
However, our parenting styles are not similar at all. She bfed for (I think) six weeks, then switched to a bottle. They do not co-sleep, do all vaxes, fed the DS cereal then baby food asap, etc. Lately, she has also been letting her DS "fuss" before picking him up.
When we first started hanging out, we kinda-sorta talked about all this stuff, but in generalities. It became pretty clear (to me, anyway) that our parenting styles were different, so maybe we'd better just agree to disagree. I don't think my neighbor decided the same thing, b/c she's constantly pushing me to try her way of doing things (like, she wants my DS to play w/a toy that she bought, or she really really wanted my DS to start eating foods before I was offering or he was showing interest). This made me pretty uncomfortable, and I tried to joke around it, brush it off, etc.
The problem is this: she lets her DS fuss/cry a LOT. It really bothers me (not in a "she's not parenting correctly" way, but more in a "OMG, how can you stand to hear your own child cry b/c he's not even mine and I want to pick him up and love him" way). When we first started hanging out, I told her that before babes were a year old, it's not possible to spoil them by picking them up when they cry. I told her that when they're infants, their wants ARE their needs, so when they cry b/c they "want" to be picked up, that means they NEED to be picked up. She acted interested and said she didnt' know that and started picking her DS up more quickly when he fussed.
So last Thursday she called me. While we were chit-chatting, she said that she had mentioned what I said to her ped, and he said that I was "wrong" (that is literally what she said, and she sounded strangely triumphant about it). She said that her ped told her that by six months, babies can learn how to manipulate mom by crying, and so they'll cry even if they "only" want to be picked up.
Whatever!!!!...... She also told me that she decided to "test" her ped's theory and that she just let her DS cry the next time. She reported that he did eventually stop crying on his own, "just like the doctor said!". Ummm.....great. Either he simply cried himself to sleep, or he finally realized that Mom wasn't going to be there for him. Either way, how sad.
I just don't know what to do from here. I've given her information and sources to find it herself, but she hasn't done anything w/it. I've even told her about mdc, but I really don't think she's interested (which is cool, everyone's different). I just don't think I can stand to be around her and her DS anymore, KNOWING that she is so gung-ho about not comforting her son. To be clear here, it's not about my way being the right way, it's about me physically being unable to listen to her son cry unnecessarily.
What do I do? Should I give her my information again? Should I just tell her that I cannot be around them as long as her DS is crying unattended? Should I play nicey-nice and "offer" to pick up her DS since she is "busy" doing whatever?
Thanks, mamas.
Kinsey
