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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I really need some advice here, I know I posted this before we separated but things are getting hairy. I left two weeks ago. This is the situation:

I make $3500 a month, including the child support for my son who is not a biological son of my stbx. I am giving my stbx all of it except $200 a week, which is what he is allowing me plus if I work overtime I get to keep that too. he says if I stop giving it to him he will keep the car (its a 2004 Chrysler pacifica - 25,000 miles). But if I keep giving him all my money until Feb 1, he will sign the car over to me. He has made $400,000 in the last two years and has $5000.00 in the bank. i have made $60,000 in the last two years and have nothing to show for it because it has all went to family bills. I don't want to give him any more money, I need to start thinking about my future especially since there is a potential layoff in the future for me, but I need a car too and a dependable one. We bought the car together but it is in his name. He refuses to sell it and split the money. I know I am being taken advantage of. I agreed under duress to do this because I felt guilty for leaving him but I have to think about my son. If it weren't for my aunt taking me in, I would be in the street. I am also owed $4500 in retro child support that my son's father says he is going to try to pay with his Christmas bonus. I paid all my taxes last year and would not owe anything if I file separately. My stbx owes money because he is an independent contractor and he made so much money. He wants to use my child support to pay his taxes! I am going to tell him no but I have a feeling he won't give me the car until I give that to him too and by then I could have gone out and bought a car with that money. He kept all the jewelry he gave me, I had to beg for my wedding ring. He made me run up dr bills while we were together because he had more important bills. All his money and the money that I give to him goes toward bills but I work my ass off and I want to see my money. So my real question - is a lawyer worth it? i don't want any of his money, I just want my money that I am away from my ds making. If a lawyer is going to cost me what I would be giving to stbx for the next two months its not even worth it.

Maybe just some hugs would be nice... I feel terrible and part of me still feels like I owe him because I left but then part of me is pissed that he is taking advantage of me, pissed that I work 40-50 hours a week so I can get overtime to pay for gas, pissed that he is still controlling me even after I am gone, pissed that my child support for MY son is essentially going to his ex wife for the cs that he owes her, pissed that he can't go out and get a real job instead of working on commission and I am slaving away so he can keep his good life. I want to cry.
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
I have a call in to a lawyer to find out if I have any rights to the car. If I do, then I will stop paying him, if the lawyer says I need to pay half of it, I will pay him half (which will be my money up until Jan 1). Either way, I'm cutting off his access to my baby's child support. He has no right at all to that money. And he keeps threatening me about getting nasty and getting lawyers involved but I realize that he is doing that because he is scared and he knows any judge would say he's getting a pretty good deal and maybe make him pay back what I have given him. I am waiting on the lawyer just to cover my butt but I know you are all right - he was controlling during the marriage and he's still trying to control me.
 
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