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I was in a relationship for 13 years with an abusive manipulative controlling man who is 5 years older than me. We have a 3.5 year old boy he was born in 2011 and for the first 2.5 years of his life I was a stay at home mom. February 2014 I finally disconnected emotionally and physically from his father but we were still under the same roof. I tried to leave him in July 2014 but that confrontation became threatening and physical. He threatened that I could leave anytime I wanted but I would never see my boy ever again and at the time I was scared and stayed until September 2014 when I finally got the courage to leave him. We had an argument that day that escalated and I had no choice but to just grab what I could and leave without my son at that time. I went to live with my mom and sister. Soon after I left my ex finally made arrangements with me for my son to go back and forth between us. I started working July 2014 so I could save some money and have a backup before I left my ex. So since the breakup my son has went back and forth between his father and I. I gave in to my ex every holiday for him to have my son he had him on thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year's Eve.

The current situation is that about 1 week ago I moved 5 hours away from my ex. We made a verbal agreement before I left about when I would return with my son. Now he is being manipulative once again and threatening to take my son away from me legally and call the cops for kidnapping .

I have never threatened to take my boy away from his father I would never do that but now I need to get some advice on how to proceed legally.

I have always taken care of my son 100% he was always with me 24/7 until I started working in July 2014 until now.

I know this is a long read but any advice would help.
Thank you have a nice day.
 

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You should have had his permission in writing. He was probably setting you up. Honestly you needed to get back asap or you risk him being given primary custody. It sounds so stressful. Take care of yourself.
 

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I agree with Spring. And sometimes we have to put our own stuff on hold for the big picture. Do you want your son raised by an abuser? That's what I see happening here. Read anything by Lundy Bancroft - that author gets it and explains it well. I hope you have good supports and access to good legal advice.
 

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You have your son now, yes?

Do the two of you have written legally binding custody agreement? If you do, then you absolutely need to follow that agreement, even if it means moving back to where your son's father lived.

If not, then technically you are not doing anything legally wrong by moving your son away. However, the same holds true for him-if you send your son back there to see his father, he can just as easily keep him from you.

Is there anything in writing at all, even in emails, etc. that shows that he agreed with this? If not, he is going to have a good argument if/when he files in court that you planned to keep his son from him and that your son shoudl be returned to where he has lived most of his life. The first thing you should do at this point is start communicating by email, and showing that there is a plan for you son to have visitation with his dad on a regular basis. You should also get a legal custody agreement if you don't already have one. The problem with that is that you'll likely have to file where your son has previously lived, because you don't have residency where you are now.

Honestly, the best thing to do would be to move back immediately, file for custody, and go from there.
 
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