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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hi! I am looking for "what would you do" advise here.<br>
I got laid off when I was 7 months pregnant (Jan of 08) and when I couldn't find another job my hubby had to start looking so we could make ends meet. He found a great job in another state. We have had our house on the market since then with no bites. We are renting in our new location. I LOVE staying home with my little one who is now almost 6 months old and cannot imagine putting him in daycare this young...BUT...we are at the point where we cannot pay for the house anymore. With the economy the way it is I am not optimistic we will suddenly sell this house anytime soon.<br>
Yesterday out of the blue, I got a phone call with a GREAT job offer making really good money in the area we now live. So, I feel like my options are to either put Logan in daycare and miss out on sooooo much of his life and then be able to keep our credit in good standing by continuing to pay for that house until it sells. OR, continue to stay home with Logan but likely have to forclose on that house. I am not even sure I know all the ramifications of a home forclosure, so maybe this isn't even something to consider if there is an option like me working...But I'm looking for your opinions.<br><br>
THANK YOU!
 

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As a SAHM by choice myself, I can understand your reluctance to put your son into daycare. However, IMO one of the benefits of being a single income family is that you do have that extra income-earning potential should you need it in a financial crisis. I would consider pending forclosure a financial crisisserious enough to warrant considering returning to the paid workforce. It would affect your credit report for the next 7 years which could cause a jump in your insurance rates, your ability to obtain credit, interest rates on your current CCs if they aren't paid off each month, your ability to buy another home in the future and build wealth, etc.<br><br>
Couple of questions about the house. Have you tried to rent it out? What is the market like where the house is? Is it one of the Armegeddon markets (Cleveland, Florida, parts of California) where NOTHING is selling no matter what? Or is it in just a slow area where things are taking 2-3X as long to sell and losing value. If it is the latter, are you willing to take a loss on selling it?<br>
If so, perhaps you can accept the job, bank all the money and use it to pay the difference and either a) significantly reduce the selling price of your home to "fire sale" levels b) double your agent's commission to motivate him/her to get it sold. If you don't have much time before forclosure is your only option, some of these suggestions may be moot.<br><br>
If you do take the job, negotiate as much money and/flexibility as you can at the outset. Make sure you crunch the numbers as far as transportation, clothes, daycare costs to make sure you are actually going to net a significant amount.<br><br>
Hope this helps!
 

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For the short term I would take the job and put your little one in daycare. It's not what you want, but it doesn't have to be forever. If/when the house sells you can re-evaluate the situtation and go back to being a SAHM.<br><br>
Sounds like your family could really use the money and foreclosure would affect you for many years down the road. Do you want to be able to buy a house again in the near future? If so, you defiantely don't want the foreclosure on your reports if it's at all avoidable.<br><br>
Best of luck
 

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I would never foreclose just to SAH. I think that's really irresponsible. A way to pay for it has fallen into your lap and I wouldn't feel as though I had any other option, ethically.<br><br>
I agree it doesn't have to be forever.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Denvergirlie</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/12383752"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">For the short term I would take the job and put your little one in daycare. It's not what you want, but it doesn't have to be forever. If/when the house sells you can re-evaluate the situtation and go back to being a SAHM.<br><br>
Sounds like your family could really use the money and foreclosure would affect you for many years down the road. Do you want to be able to buy a house again in the near future? If so, you defiantely don't want the foreclosure on your reports if it's at all avoidable.<br><br>
Best of luck</div>
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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/yeahthat.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="yeah that">: I have never been through a foreclosure but I have made decisions that left a negative impact on my credit and in today's world the last thing you want to have is horrible credit. Like others have said the foreclosure would be on your credit and even something as simple as buying a car in 3-4 years could be hard to do. I would probably go back to work in the short run until the house sells.<br><br>
Shay
 

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I know everyone had different experiences and wants/needs. I want to say as someone who spent 6 weeks looking for a new job that in THIS economy, I would take the job to be on the safe side. No one's job is guaranteed and if you got one that is doable, I'd jump on it. Who's to say your DH will continue to have a secure job? My DH still can't find work even at $7/hr because everyone laid off before him had the same idea- something is better than nothing. Now, I know you love being at home so that can make things difficult but if you want another child one day, wouldn't you need that extra money so you can be at home with both of them? Maybe this is only a temporary fix. You could do it for a year and quit or something? Have you thought about renting out the other house? Even if you take a loss on the rent portion, at least you are paying some of the mortgage. Have you considered listing it as a lease with option to buy?<br>
I was crying a few months ago when I had to go to work. My friend pulled me aside and asked me if I held a grudge against my dad. I was confused but said no. Then she pointed out that he worked all my life and the only time I got with him was in the afternoon and weekends. I love him equally to my mom who was a SAHM. I don't know if you are weighing on the fact that someone else will help in the car of your baby but maybe you can find a loving in home daycare or nanny? Good luck with your choice!
 

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A forclosure is just about the worst thing you can have on your credit record, EVER. It's viewed as worse than a bankruptcy, because most people go into bankruptcy to avoid a forclosure. It's really, really, REALLY bad.<br><br>
I would never let a home go into foreclosure just to be able to stay at home. That's just really petty and irresponsible. But that doesn't sound like that's entirely the position that you're in -- you had to move because that was where the job to support your family is located, you can't live in the house, and you're trying to sell it while paying for housing twice; once on the apartment you're living in and once on a house you can't live in and need to get rid of. In that case, it might be worth looking into a short sale or letting the house go back to the bank.<br><br>
If I were you, I'd still take the job. But I'd start investigating selling the house short or doing a deed in lieu of forclosure to get the monkey off your back. Once that is done and you've got some substantial savings, then it's time to think about getting out of the job market again.
 

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Didn't read the whole thread, but can you rent the home for what the mortgage is?
 

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take the job. the long term ramifications on your ability to buy in the future as well as provide basic needs {reliable transportation, good quality private schools, etc} that benefit your family in the future would be too great if the house goes into foreclosure.
 

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I'd look for a job where I could WAH. There are some out there. Worth considering and then maybe you could have the best of both worlds?
 

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I would take the job
 

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As a SAHM myself who has never so much as left her child with anyone besides his dad - I'd take the job.
 

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Has your dh moved to another state? Is the idea that you're going to sell this house and move with him?
 

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I agree, take the job.
 

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If renting it out is not an option then I would echo what everyone else said...Take the job. I would not foreclose on a home just to SAH. My girls have also never been in daycare so I do understand but this is a case where I think you need to look at the complete big picture.
 

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I would choose foreclosure personally. But I would not choose it lightly<br><br>
I would rather have trashed credit than give up on my wife SAH with the kids. I am fully aware of the consequences. We dealt with very very bad credit for years. No car-loans, insurance that cost more than our car, living in places rented by individuals rather than a company, paying extortion money to utility companies, etc etc. I would choose that over the alternative. There are many things I am willing to sacrifice for credit rating, but this is not one of them. 7 years is a long time to have bad credit (and it will go further than 7 years in actuality), and if you want to be able to use credit reasonably in the future then you need to take that job.<br><br>
I don't really understand the obsession with credit, we have (although rarely) used it to "survive" (more like float to the next paycheck), but we survived for years without it and we could again. A 20,000 car is a luxury. A 3-2-2 in suburbia is a luxury. I can't really think of a "necessity" that is just plain unobtainable without credit.<br><br>
Another thing my wife brought up the other day is that the foreclosure rate is one of the highest in history... so is a foreclosure from 2008 going to be as severe when you are being judged creditworthy as a foreclosure from back in the golden age of 20% downpayment .25% foreclosure rate? Probably not (but maybe, I don't know)
 

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Discussion Starter · #19 ·
Thanks for the great responses. I am shocked that my DH and I have such a difference in opinion on this. I am ready to suck it up and take the job/putting my son in daycare. My DH acts like foreclosing is the solution and he just seems so nonchalant(sp) about it. It is infuriating really. He claims I am putting money and a credit record above raising our son. That sort of hits me in a sore spot being a FTM and worrying about everything I do anyway.<br><br>
It does help a ton to hear so many of you agree that the job is the way to go so it solidifies my resolve. Thanks again!
 

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I would take the job. If the bank forcloses, I am pretty sure they will still try to come after you for the deficit which would then probably cause you to file bankruptcy. If you can, I would try to negotiate a short sale or deed-in-lieu where the bank agrees to less than they are owed. We are looking into both those options ourselves.<br><br>
I would love to be able to find a job right now to help pay the bills, but I am pregnant and lost my job in June. With two other kids and no family in the area, the cost of daycare would not be covered by the types of jobs I can get right now. Daycare does not mean that you child will be ignored by strangers all day. There are many options for childcare (center, home, nanny, etc) and there's one that will fit your short term needs to provide care for you child.
 
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