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<p>I'm having a lot of trouble with my 15 month old who just started saying no and refusing to do things.  Every little thing through out the day is a big deal and a big fight for us (such as change diaper, eat, wash hands, insisting on having things he's not supposed to, going to sleep....).  If I were to ask I'd have too many questions about every single situation that happens through out the day. I'd like some good book recommendation on how to deal with this age (and these creatures)!</p>
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<p>For example, having him stand his ground and say no (verbally and with his very strong body language) to me is new - I have no idea how to respond to his "assertiveness". (oh, and the worse part is I know he's watching and waiting to see what I'm going to do.) I don't know how I should act, behave; whether I should insist and let him scream & cry or give in...I don't even know which fights to pick because every fight is little (example: "take a drink or stop shaking the milk out of your cup or I'm going to put the cup away" - is that worth the fight & dealing with the screaming, for example?  I've done it both ways. Constantly trying to clean up his mess is frustrating; dealing with his yelling, screaming and crying when I insist drives me nuts too).</p>
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<p>Then there is the concern of insisting my ways too much leading him to purposely want to say no and disobey even more.  Or, on the other hand, letting him be and turning him into a monster who can't obey authority (his parents)....  point me somewhere, please, so I can get more educated about what in the world is in their minds, and how you play these mind games with these creatures!!  I really need some practical advice (like role playing or laying out the words to say and how to behave, including what kind of face to put on) around these situations.</p>
 

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<p>some of my favorite have been, playful parenting, easy to love difficult to discipline and 'how to listen so kids will talk and talk so kids will listen'. Basically you want to be consistent, and pick your battles. I have my daughter clean up from an early age when she makes a mess (obviously you've got to really do the job too). Remove things that require 'no's' as much as you can, if he makes a mess, don't give him that cup again. If DD makes a mess with food, i say 'looks like yu're done' and remove the food'. Lots of playing games helped at that age and choices 'which foot should we put this sock on? which shoes do you want to wear?'. Bright shiney distraction works too 'hey look at that tree! (quickly put on shoes or coat while they look)' Now though at 2.5 I'm stumped too with my previously nice kid being a jerk to me.</p>
 
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